Road Trip
by Lunar Chasmodai
Summary: What begins as a road trip between six friends turns out to be a nightmare when everything that can go wrong DOES go wrong. With confused individuals, MapQuest, and a van named Murphy, this journey is more than just a trip [AU SasuNaru, ShikaTema GaaNeji]
1. Day 1: California

First off, IMPORTANT, this includes guys. Who. Like. Guys. Sasuke and Naruto; Neji and Gaara. So if it bugs you, screw off.

**I've been petitioning to own Gaara for a really long time. :nods: However, I'm going to have to settle for owning the van, Murphy the van, as well as Gaara's obsession with the van. Murphy the van. This is, in case you didn't gather, Alternate Universe. That means...well, no ninja-power-things. That, and Orochimaru is a child molester. Feel free to say 'WTF' at any moment.**

**A/N: I sympathize with Naruto and gang in this fiction. I went through road-trip from hell also. What is slightly important is that it is set in America, considering I live in America and have been through basically the same route as Naruto and Gang.**

**I would like to thank FastForward (Sarge) for having confidence in me, motivating my writing habits (which are icky), and being an all-around superb, stupendous, amazing, youthful person.**

* * *

Uchiha Sasuke sat on the edge of his bed, swinging his feet back and forth. He heard the front door slam and the car that was inevitably in the garage start up. He heard the creak of the garage door opening and the car drive away. 

He stood and walked slowly out of his room and into the bathroom. He reached into the scummy shower and turned on the faucet. Icy water poured down from spigot and the pale boy slipped under the spray. He ran fingers over his arms, wiping away whatever blood was left over. He massaged shampoo into his black hair before rinsing off the soap. He stepped out of the shower and onto the turquoise bathmat, toweling off with a matching towel before returning to his room.

The phone rang. The raven haired boy reached over and picked up the off-white receiver and slammed it against his ear. "Hello?" he asked the person on the other end. There was a bit of background noise before Sasuke heard the person on the other end reply.

"Hey Sasuke!" cried the person on the other end. Sasuke glowered at the phone.

"You have damn good timing Naruto. Orochimaru was here just a second ago, and you know what would have happened if he picked up," he growled.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry. I just thought I'd tell you I'm driving cross-country--" Naruto started. Sasuke snorted.

"You're telling me this why?" he interrupted. He swore he could hear Naruto shrug.

"Just wondering if you could come. It would be really fun!" he cried bouncily. Sasuke heard the creaking of bedsprings on the other end of the line. In his minds eye, he could see the blond boy bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet, talking into his phone. Sasuke shut his eyes.

"Orochimaru wouldn't let me go…" the dark-haired boy muttered.

"You haven't even asked yet!" Naruto argued. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"I don't need to," he replied. "Why are you calling me anyway?"

"Because! You need a life! Come on…us and a couple of friends, picking up chicks, driving down the highway, you know? It'll be fun!" Sasuke could imagine Naruto jumping around his room in excitement. '_Probably grinning that stupid grin too,_' he added to himself with a smirk.

"Whatever. How long will we be gone?" Sasuke asked. He rolled over and sat on the floor cross-legged, examining one of his many new bruises. He prodded it with the edge of a pencil, winced in pain, and decided not to do that anymore.

"Three days, tops. Come on, just ask Orochimaru. Please? I don't want to go with Neji…he's mean…" Naruto said. Sasuke could imagine him pouting on the other end of the line, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall. "Please?"

"Fine, he left ten minutes ago, he'll be back in five. You're at work, right?"

"Yeah," Naruto confirmed.

"Whatever. I'll call you back in five minutes." Sasuke hung up without waiting for a reply. '_If he thinks I'm really asking Orochimaru, he's dumber than I thought,_' Sasuke thought with a smirk. He turned to his closet. '_Because asking is for weaklings._'

* * *

Uzamaki Naruto stared at the pizza. It stared back. It was greasy, drooping, and more disgusting than usual '_Someone is going to blame me,_' he thought miserably as he slid it onto a plate and maneuvered out of the kitchen. The restaurant where he worked was in a lull, and only two pizzas had been ordered that hour. By the looks of this one, it would appear the oven exploded. Naruto rolled his eyes and found table nineteen. He placed the pizza on the table and scurried away before the people could complain at him personally. '_That pizza is now officially their problem. Any complains go to Sakura. And I'm not Sakura._' 

The phone on the wall next to the calendar rang. Haruno Sakura picked it up with one hand, tapping manicured nails against the stucco wall.

"Is Naruto there?" Naruto heard the voice filter from the other line. Sakura's face brightened.

"Is this Sasuke? When you going to run away with me?" she asked brightly. Before Sasuke could answer, Naruto grabbed the phone away from Sakura for fear the stoic boy would hang up.

"Sasuke? You there still?" he asked. He heard Sasuke grunt. "Take that as a yes. What did that bastard guardian of yours have to say?"

"He said," Sasuke paused, "yes. When can you pick me up?" Naruto grinned.

"When the shift is over…now actually," he replied.

"Orochimaru will be leaving again in," Naruto heard the door slam in the background, "now is great. Talk to you later." Naruto heard Sasuke hang up. The blond boy leaned against the wall and sighed. His best friend of six years, Uchiha Sasuke was never one for sentiments. Or thank yous, for that matter. The dark haired boy was always so quiet, and mostly left alone. His brother…he didn't like his brother, to say the least. His brother had killed their parents. His brother had beaten Sasuke into the ground every day for five years. Even after the bastard left, Sasuke's brother had given him nightmares every single night from the time he was nine until now. For eight years, Sasuke hadn't gotten a decent night's sleep without waking up in pain, screaming as loudly as he could, until Orochimaru showed up and beat him back into silence.

Naruto knew this because he was used to calls in the middle of the night from a frantic Sasuke. He was used to talking to the nearly emotionless boy, telling him it would be okay. Naruto was so used to it, in fact, that he didn't even mind anymore when he had to rouse himself from sleep to answer the phone, to glare at his legal guardian when he was angry at Naruto for having someone call at four in the morning. Naruto just didn't mind.

The raven's current guardian wasn't much better. The beatings had yet to stop, despite who they came from changing. A tall, snake-like man, Orochimaru was almost as much of a bastard as Itachi, with his harsh, degrading words and disgusting outlook on discipline. '_You just don't starve a seventeen year old boy for a week and a half for slamming a door. Well…Orochimaru does. And the courts let him have Sasuke?_' Naruto demanded, sizzling with anger. '_That,_' he reminded himself, '_is why Sasuke and I are getting the hell out of here, even if it's just a month out of our lives._'

The blue clock above the refrigerator clicked to four. Naruto waved goodbye to Sakura and Ino, his partners in the art of crafting pizzas, and bolted out the door. He located the car, a rather beat-up beige VW bus that belonged to his friend Shikamaru, and launched it down the street. Actually, it was more like rolling, considering Naruto had to practically _push_ it down the street. Not really, but that was the basic idea.

* * *

Five minuted later, the van turned around. "What did you forget?" Naruto asked. Sasuke shrugged. 

"Note."

"For what?" Naruto asked perplexedly.

"Orochimaru. Just telling him I'll be gone the weekend," Sasuke replied. "Not that he'd care, but still, I thought I should tell him. You know, that his punching bag would be gone for a couple days." Naruto didn't reply. It was the taboo subject: four in the morning was the only time you ever talked to Sasuke about his past or present home life. Ever. Naruto remained silent as his friend walked into the house.

"Hey Sasuke," he called. Sasuke turned. "If you're not back in five minutes, I'm going in after you." Sasuke shrugged and walked inside. He opened the front door carefully. '_Please let him not be home, please let him not be home,_' the dark-haired boy whispered to himself. He really didn't want to be held up, especially not by Orochimaru, especially not now.

"Sasuke," came a low, growling voice. Sasuke turned slowly. Orochimaru was reclining comfortably in a chair in one corner. "Where have you been?" Sasuke glowered.

"With a friend. I thought I'd come back to leave you a note. I'm going to be leaving for the weekend. Go beat up on someone else for a couple days." Sasuke held out a slip of paper with neat, printed handwriting sprawling over the surface. Orochimaru stood, almost graceful, and took the slip of paper from his charges hands. His eyes flicked over it before he turned a stony gaze on Sasuke.

"You're not going anywhere." The words bit through the cold air of the house. It took the snake-like man a half second to pin Sasuke under him and hold the dark-haired boy still. "Never, ever, ever," he hissed, almost as an after thought. Sasuke struggled under Orochimaru's weight. Orochimaru, who was never one for resistance, smacked Sasuke with the nearest object, which just happened to be a glass paper weight. Before Sasuke could scream, Orochimaru had already made sure the boy's lips were _occupied._

Before he could get another smack in though, Orochimaru fell forward. Sasuke took this opportunity to wriggle out from under his legal guardian. '_What the hell?_' he stared at the unconscious man. '_What--_' his thoughts were cut off when he realized what had led to the opportunity of his escape.

Naruto was standing there, holding what looked like a crowbar. "You alright?" the blond boy asked. Sasuke snorted and stood up, dusting himself off.

"Fine," he replied. He knelt beside his caretaker. "Did you kill him?"

"No," Naruto said. "Come on, let's forget about this entire situation and get going already. We're driving across the US and back in a month."

"I thought you said three days," Sasuke replied flatly. Naruto rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"I lied?"

* * *

"I still can't believe I went along with this, loser," Sasuke groaned. Naruto pouted. 

"It's going to be fun! Come on! Now, let's get some food. I'm starved." He stopped the truck and jumped out on the gravel. They were barely three hours out of Ventura, California and the blond could already feel his stomach rumbling. The others in the car, Shikamaru Nara, Kiba Inuzuka, and Temari and Gaara Sabaku all sighed in unison. They cast their glances to the mini mart, which was set neatly against a gold background of rolling hills and craggy mountains. Sasuke rolled his black eyes in annoyance.

"They don't have ramen here…" he said. "They have stuff like beer and jerky."

"Damn…beer and jerky is fine," Kiba said loudly. Naruto grinned and shoved the doors open and bounced out.

"What about ID?" Sasuke asked. "Loser, you never think ahead." Naruto shrugged. He never thought ahead. He did, however, have his father's ID. It was more for sentiment, but the instant he laid eyes on it with _that_ intent, he saw a totally untapped gold mine.

"Ooh! It's like we're spies, with the fake identity…we'll sneak in, be all cool and show them the ID, and then--"

"Or I could just buy it," interrupted Temari.

"You're condoning underage drinking," Shikamaru said, giving Temari a look out of the corner of his eye.

"Do you really want to go with their idea?"

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Sasuke, Kiba, Temari and Naruto had three cases of beer, a bottle of cognac, and some vodka. Shikamaru watched. 

"You're not going to drink and drive, are you?" Sasuke asked Gaara, staring straight at Naruto. Naruto stopped abruptly. He kept his head down for a few more seconds before slowly turning his gaze on Sasuke.

It was the other taboo subject. Naruto's mother had been killed in a drunk driving accident. "Screw you," hissed Naruto, tossing the stash of alcohol into the backseat. Sasuke stared impassively forward, a few meters back. He sighed and waited for his friend to calm down a little. '_Great, now we're going to be stuck here another ten minutes._'

Naruto was sitting in the driver's seat when Sasuke walked up. "Ready to go now?" he asked stoically. Naruto responded by turning the ignition and kicking open the opposite door. Still not looking at his friend, the blond haired boy slammed down on the clutch.

Nothing.

"What did you do to my baby!?" Gaara asked, glaring at Naruto with such intensity, it frightened even Temari. "I mean, Shikamaru's baby," he quickly corrected. Naruto glared back.

"I didn't do jack to it, bastard! It just flipped out!" he glared. "We passed an auto repair shop a half mile back. How hard can it be to get this piece of junk back there! It's all downhill!" he shrugged and jumped out of the car. "Let's go!"

It's a lot harder than one may think. The six teenagers were hot, sweaty, and completely exhausted by the time they had pushed the VW van to the auto repair shop. Actually, five of them were, and one was muttering 'troublesome' under his breath.

"You know, you could help," Kiba said angrily. Shikamaru just shrugged and kept walking. At the threat of being kicked out of the van and made to walk beside it for the remainder of the road trip, the lazy teenager 'helped'. Granted, 'helping' mainly consisted of putting his hands on the bumper and leaning against it, staring at the beige back of the van. '_Troublesome,_' he thought.

The mechanic was engaged in a staring contest with Sasuke.

"All we need you to do is look at it," the Uchiha growled. The mechanic shook his head.

"I don't go back on duty for another six minutes."

"Well we need it now. Look at it now," Sasuke argued back. His black eyes were bulging, and next to him, Gaara was looking at the mechanic very, very, vengefully. The mechanic shook his head and leaned back in his chair.

"I still have five and a half more-- hey!" he shouted as Gaara poured gasoline on him. He sputtered. "What the hell? That's--" he was cut off as Gaara moved to pick up the lighter that sat on the table next to hm. "Okay, fine, I'll look at your van. Kids these days…"

"You know, you didn't need to try and _kill_ him," Kiba shot at Gaara. Gaara shrugged, ignoring his friend. Kiba glowered. '_You know, I've known him since first grade. You'd think I'd be used to it._' Having a homicidal maniac for a friend was still a little weird, even after a decade of it.

They had all been best friends since first grade, when they met at the elementary school in a predominately Japanese student district.. Well, except Sasuke. He had transferred into their school in third grade, and it wasn't until fifth grade that they actually took a liking to him. Mostly it was Naruto who liked him, and the rest followed, however begrudgingly. Gaara's sister, who was four grades above them, took a liking to Shikamaru and quickly joined their happy, albeit dysfunctional family.

"Alright!" the mechanic said. "I figured out what was wrong."

"What was the problem?" Shikamaru asked, leaning against the van lazily. The mechanic sighed.

"The clutch…look, sorry to break it to you guys, but you guys will need a part that I have to order."

"Do you have it?" Kiba asked anxiously. "Come on! We have deadlines to make!"

The mechanic started protest that he had to order it. Gaara stared emotionlessly at him, shutting him up with a quick, "Do I need to light you on fire?" The mechanic sighed, eyed Gaara, and stepped away, out of reach of any gasoline that might find its way onto him.

"Erm…actually, if you can get the van moving, go from first to second while it's in motion, then switch third to fourth, you don't really need the part…it'll go if you shift from third to fourth." Gaara seemed satisfied and walked away.

"Wait…how are we getting it in motion if we can't start it?"

* * *

"No way," Kiba said. "No. Fucking. Way. This is all your fault Naruto, we should have taken my car. At least my car goes. At least my car doesn't break in the middle of NOWHERE!" 

"It's not the middle of nowhere," Naruto protested. "But we can see it from here!" he giggled to himself. "Lighten up you guys, have some fun!" Five dusty teenagers just scowled at the bubbly blond boy. Five dusty, angry, bitter teenagers. '_Pushing a car through Central California is not my idea of a 'fun' experience,_' Sasuke muttered to himself. Naruto ignored the hateful looks he was receiving from his 'friends' and started pushing the car slowly, by himself, down the road.

"Shikamaru better help," Kiba whined. Shikamaru didn't even bother to scowl at the boy. He just leaned against a nearby tree and watched impassively, chewing on a small piece of jerky and fiddling with a leaf.

"Troublesome," he said, as stoic as usual. "I'll just help the first one in. After that…too much work." He opened one of the sliding doors and lounged in front of it. "Ready when you are." Naruto nodded, and the five not-so-lazy teenagers pushed. Well, technically four of them pushed.

"You're first Sasuke, since we know you can't push worth shit," Kiba laughed. The van was already in motion, and Sasuke was eyeing it with distaste. More like hate, actually. '_No way. I'd rather walk than jump into the hunk of metal while it's moving. Naruto, you loser…who else can get us into this situation? Who else, in the world, can get us into a situation, WHERE WE HAVE TO PUSH A VOLKSWAGEN ACROSS THE COUNTRY?!_'

"You want me to run after that?" the raven asked flatly. He gave his comrades a 'are you possessed by demons' kind of look. Gaara and Naruto returned with a 'maybe, maybe not' look.

"It's either that, or you push."

Sasuke jumped.

The rest of them followed. Gaara first, then Kiba, then Naruto. Temari pushed it by herself a few more seconds while her brother found his spot behind the wheel. Naruto grabbed the edge of the door and offered a hand to Temari. She grasped it and hoisted herself into the van.

"We got it!" Naruto exclaimed happily as Temari fell inside with a resounding thunk. Kiba slammed the sliding door shut as he dug around in the back, looking for alcohol. Naruto bounced jovially on the balls of his feet. The group just glared at him. Just as they began to relax, Shikamaru's phone began to ring. He fished it out of his pocked and flicked it open, pressing it to his ear.

"Hello?" he asked unenthusiastically. The sound of voices came form the other end. Shikamaru listened for a couple of minutes, the sound of frantic apologizing, the sound of a crash, followed by more apologizing. Shikamaru's face turned progressively angrier, from pink to red to _purple_ with rage. In act, by the time he was done, he looked a bit like Tinky Winky from the Teletubbies.

And then, Shikamaru went mad. No one in that van ever thought they would see the stoic, lazy boy go absolutely insane, but he did. Shikamaru Nara glowered at the phone, yelled at the phone, shrieked at the phone, and when he hung up, he chucked the phone against one metal side of the van. It fell to the floor with a clatter. Shikamaru was going to smash it into a million little pieces with a crowbar, but that phone was damn expensive. He settled with just glowering at it, shouting angry words at it, and then telling it that it was a worthless, troublesome object.

"Shit," he said when he finally recovered his senses enough to actually speak in coherent sentences. "We lost tonight's room to some 'happy couple' with more money than us." His eyes were narrow little slits. Gaara looked absolutely murderous, but underneath that anger was true, pure hopefulness. '_I hope they choke on their champagne,_' he thought gleefully. '_I hope they choke a lot._'

Kiba was furious. "What the hell are we going to do now? WHAT THE HELL?! We have to pay for the van, we have to push the van, we have to sleep in the van…I have an idea, let's burn the van! We'll sell tickets to passerby so we have money to buy food, and then we will BURN IT! Maybe the damn van will survive, _just to spite us!_"

"You know, I think the van needs a name. If you're going to think homicidal thoughts like that, the object of those thoughts needs a name," Naruto stated firmly. Gaara looked up.

"It's got one," said Shikamaru. Everyone stared.

"What is it?" asked Naruto. Shikamaru smirked.

"Murphy."

"What? Why?!"

Shikamaru looked around the bus. "Murphy, as in Murphy's law. Because all that can go wrong, will go wrong. We have our proof." He rolled over and went back to sleep on the seat. Sasuke nodded.

"Alright, Murphy it is. Now for suggestions as far as new plan for tomorrow, as far as driving goes. Tonight too, for that matter, if you factor in sleeping. Naruto, you don't count. Not a word out of you. Not even one. It's your fault."

"How is it--"

"That's three words. Shut up." Sasuke held his head in his hands. '_How do I get myself into these messes? A month? A month?_' he groaned and rolled over. '_At least he's not Orochimaru._' "Okay, new plan: we sleep in the van tonight, we make sure our reservations don't fall through at our next stop, eat somewhere, and then move on. We'll reach San Francisco tomorrow afternoon and stay there a few days before moving on."

"But--"

"I thought we established, Naruto, that you were to remain silent," Sasuke growled. Gaara, the only one of the group who hadn't consumed any alcohol, drove on, tuning the rest of the group out. Naruto kept fixing his eyes on the pad of paper with 'hangman' written on it until Temari and Kiba got the hint.

"I hate that game," Gaara said, almost cheerfully. "I'm so glad I'm driving." '_That's scary,_' Kiba thought. '_He looks like a cat that swallowed a canary. A cat who swallowed a canary, a baby, a fish, a muskrat, and a dog._'

"Is it 'fox'?" Kiba asked. Naruto nodded. The only part of the hangman drawn was the head. Kiba groaned. "You do that every time. Why not branch out? Alright, my turn." Kiba drew out the lines and the hang tree.

"Is it 'dog'?"

"Damn you Temari. Damn you."

* * *

Gaara finally stopped the car around ten thirty. He pulled over and drove off the highway about a hundred meters, turned off the engine, and flicked on the light. Shikamaru, who had been napping, opened on eye lazily before shutting it again. 

"Alright, who brought blankets?"

It is a little known fact that in Northern California it is very cold at night. It is also a little known fact that neither Kiba, Gaara, Naruto, or Sasuke can remember blankets. Temari remembered a blanket. Of course, the operative word is 'a'. A blanket.

"No way!" Kiba slurred as he glared at his friends. "I am never, ever, EVER going to share a blanket with all of you! No!" He fell over. Gaara sighed. Temari giggled. _Lush is her middle name,_' Gaara muttered wordlessly. '_And I'm _related_ to her?_' The seats in Murphy lined the walls, so there was plenty of space to sleep on the floor.

"Oh yeah, I can't _wait_ to touch you guys. It's a dream come true." The sarcasm nearly choked the occupants of Murphy. Murphy made a little coughing noise out of his exhaust pipe and got decidedly colder, as if in response to Gaara's bitter, bitter tone.

"How big is the blanket?" Sasuke asked. Temari surveyed.

"Looks like a king sized," she replied. Gaara sighed in what could have been taken as relief.

"Good enough I guess. Okay, everyone is going to have to huddle together." Everyone just _stared_ at Gaara. Kiba reached up and pinched the red-head's ankle.

"You sure you're really Gaara?" he slurred. "Because Gaara would never tell us to huddle up. Ever. It's like the bloody freaking apocalypse." Kiba rolled over, crawling towards the blanket, and burrowed under the covers. "Night all."

"Murphy hates you," growled Gaara.

"Whatever." Shikamaru and Temari attached themselves to each other and crawled in next to Kiba. Gaara sighed. He never really slept anyway, so it didn't matter where he slept. The only plus of never sleeping was not being woken up when Sasuke awoke. '_And he will wake up. Isn't that right Murphy?_' The comment was more directed at Murphy's law than the truck, but Gaara soon realized that he had become attached to the hunk of junk. In fact, he even called it by name when he _wasn't_ referring to the law. He patted the aluminum side lovingly and leaned against it, finding a spot in the front seat. '_I could keep driving…be in San Francisco by tomorrow._'

"Gaara!" Shikamaru's groggy voice spilled from the covers, startling Gaara out of his car-driving-San-Francisco related thoughts. Aforementioned red-head looked up.

"What?"

"Stop molesting my car."

* * *

**_A/N: Do review._**


	2. Day 2: California

********

I'm so proud of my Isaribi reference. A) I needed her, and B) Shasta City is supposed to be home to the descendents of the people of Atlantis. :nods: I also realized Sasuke kind of sounds like Sai in a couple of places. Oh dear. I hates Sai.

I've been asking for Gaara for two weeks from last Thursday, but apparently there's a line. I'm on the waiting list though. Have fun, my most loved readers. Thanks again to Sarge (FastForward).

* * *

It had to be four in the morning. Kiba, Shikamaru, and Temari, all still sleeping, were oblivious to what was going on at the other end of the blanket. Gaara was awake, but he was outside washing Murphy, so he didn't really notice when Sasuke woke up.

And he _woke up_.

When Sasuke's eyes clicked open, he was definitely in panic mode: strange place, dark, and lots of people around. He curled up into a ball and screamed, quite loudly. Temari, Shikamaru, and Kiba looked mildly confused, but they attributed the screaming to being part of their headaches. They rolled around, snuggled together in a lethargic mass, and went back to sleep.

"Take him outside. Cold should fix him up," Gaara called. His voice wafted through the open driver's window. "Shut the windows first though." Naruto shut the window, and before he realized why, our favorite insomniac was cleaning it furiously. '_Adopting Shikamaru's attitude are we? And I thought the car was enough._' Naruto rolled his eyes and scooped Sasuke up. He opened the side door with slight difficulty before shutting it with his foot and laying a thoroughly disturbed Sasuke on the ground. Sasuke looked around, confused, before curling into a ball again, shivering in the frigid air. Naruto knelt beside his friend.

"It's okay…remember where we are? We're with Kiba and Shikamaru and Temari and Gaara! Don't cry…" Naruto patted the charcoal mane that belonged to his friend. Gaara snorted, quite loudly. '_Some friend Sasuke is. Doesn't deserve my beloved,_' Gaara paused, staring again at Sasuke and Naruto. '_He doesn't deserve to…ride in my beloved Murphy. In fact, neither does Shikamaru! But Sasuke _really_ doesn't deserve it, being so mean and nasty to Naruto. Oh good, an excuse to have one less person touch my most loved Murphy._'

Sasuke clung to Naruto's chest. He was already crying, shaking violently. '_This is the only time I've ever seen him cry,_' Naruto thought vaguely. He circled arms around his friend's waist and gently rocked back and forth. Sasuke's sobbing slowed to only choked breathes.

"Are you feeling better?" Naruto asked quietly. Sasuke nodded.

"Of course. I'm fine now." He stood shakily and dusted himself off. He threw open the sliding door and got in, slamming it behind him. Naruto sighed, still outside, and leaned against the front. Gaara looked to where the door connected with the side. There was a huge chip out of the dull beige paint. '_Sasuke is going to pay for that one,_' he thought menacingly. '_If it's the last thing I do…_' Naruto went back into the van, and Gaara began polishing furiously.

* * *

Gaara, who had just fallen asleep, was the first to notice the boisterous knocking on the windshield. The red head narrowed his eyes, took a quick survey of who was in there, and then realize someone _outside_ was making the dumb tapping noise. Someone was tapping on _his_ Murphy. There would be blood spilled that day. 

He roused himself from sleep and stretched out, turning on the cat to provide heat. He debated stretching far enough to hit the gas pedal and run down whoever dared defile the car with their insolent tapping. "Hello?" he called. He reached slowly for the glove compartment. He felt around in the darkness. '_If this was my car, I'd have a handgun in the glove compartment. But oh no._' Instead, a crowbar had to suffice. The red haired boy threw open the door and was greeted by…a most youthful morning.

"Hello, child of youth! How goes this day of yours?!" demanded a tall man in spandex and a bowl cut. He was wearing a police uniform over the spandex, but that only reached to his waist. Gaara shuddered and clutched the blue metal of the crow bar.

"Fine…what did you want?" he asked. The spandex man _leapt_ up and down.

"Why, to greet you in your spirituous youth!" he shouted. The deputy sighed.

"That, and that you're not allowed to park-- Naruto!" Naruto, who had just appeared at the open door dressed only in boxers and an undershirt, was surprised to hear his name. Even more surprised to realized who was saying his name.

"Neji! Wait…why are you out here…I thought…" Naruto looked confusedly.

"Basically, summer break translates to errand boy for my uncle for the next thirty days. That, and getting a job to pay for room and board for said uncle, seeing as he is in a huge hotel for the next month during a really long business conference. So I'm following the 'great warrior of the traffic demons' around for the next four weeks." Neji looked annoyed.

"Your uncle, huh? Cool I guess. Must be boring."

"At least I have my cousin Hinata," Neji replied. "So what are you guys doing out here? And who is with you?" Naruto shrugged.

"Sasuke, Shikamaru, Kiba, you saw Gaara, Temari. Murphy."

"Murphy?"

"The name of the van," Naruto replied. "Shikamaru named it, and Gaara sort of ran away with it. It's a little scary."

"Gaara sort of runs that way," Neji replied. "Did you guys want doughnuts? Gai, the great traffic warrior or whatever has a ton of them. That, and Hinata is here. That's how I got the job. She's been doing this…three vacations now?" Neji wondered, almost to himself. "Doughnuts?" The blond nodded excitedly. Hinata's father often worked up by Redding, and would sometimes bring Hinata and Neji up to run errands.

"Yeah! It'll be fun. Believe it!"

"Naruto?"

"Yeah?"

"Never say that again," Neji paused, "ever."

Everyone quickly agreed to doughnuts, considering that they hadn't eaten since they left that afternoon. '_Just like Gaara to refuse to 'put Murphy at risk' by stopping at a convenience store'_,' Naruto thought with a laugh as he bit down on a powered doughnut.

Hinata, through her typical stuttering, was caring on a quiet conversation with Kiba. Naruto thought back to the time before Hinata moved: she would always blush around him, until she started blushing around Kiba. Naruto, in all his density, never really put the pieces of the puzzle together.

"So, you're on a road trip, huh?" asked Neji. Naruto nodded.

"Yup. The six of us piled into one van--" Naruto was interrupted by a pointed cough from Gaara. "Well 'scuse me, the six of us piled into Murphy, going across country this vacation. A couple days here, a couple days there, a day in Gatlinburg, a day in New York City…" Naruto trailed off.

"How are you going to fit all of this into a month?"

"I'm not really sure. After a while, we're probably going to make Gaara drive in the dead of night. So what have you been up to?" Naruto asked, abruptly changing subject. Neji shrugged and looked down at the white powdery doughnut he held in his left hand.

"Making sure Gai over there doesn't scare off the people who need traffic tickets. It's a bloody wonder that Hinata can survive here: it the most boring place I've ever been."

"Worse than statistics?"

Gai bounced over. "I remember statistics! Oh great youthful and spirituous statistics! Oh great and wonderful statistics! Oh fiery and beautiful--" Gai was cut off when he tripped over a clump of dirt and fell on his face next to the squad car.

"Worse than statistics."

* * *

They bid Neji, Hinata, and Gai a youthful goodbye and left about an hour later. This was mostly due to the fact that Kiba and Hinata were really hitting it off, and in Gaara's opinion this could only lead to one act: spit swapping. 

"You all know Kiba! He'd probably get spit all over Murphy!"

"We all know Hinata, and she wouldn't do that on Shikamaru's car," Naruto argued back. He had really been enjoying talking to Neji. Sasuke kept shooting the blond glared. '_He said he'd rather go with me than Neji, even though he _knew_ Neji was out of town._'

"Just shut up loser," Sasuke growled. Naruto was quiet only a few seconds before he saw a huge mountain just in the distance. A sign reading 'Weed, Next Exit' passed them on their right.

"Weed!" Naruto shouted. He always had an affinity for small places.

"No stopping! No! Must drive!" Gaara shouted, staring determinedly ahead. Sasuke groaned.

"I don't want to stop either!" he protested. Unfortunately, since Gaara was driving, and Gaara decided to make this trip a living hell for Sasuke, Gaara felt more inclined to acquiesce to Naruto's demands. The red-head contemplated.

"Alright, we'll stop," he said, changing his mind abruptly. Sasuke glared. Gaara ignored him.

They stopped in front of a roadside bar. Naruto, Temari and Kiba bounded in happily, while Shikamaru followed, more subdued. Sasuke moved to follow, but Gaara caught him roughly by the back of his collar. "You aren't going anywhere," Gaara growled. "You are going to stay right here until I'm done talking to you."

"What?" Sasuke growled. Gaara cast a look through the window of the bar: it was almost empty, except for a couple of people watching the game on mounted televisions. The four teenagers were waiting patiently for orders to be filled.

"I'll tell you what! You've been horrible to Naruto. He never has, ever, EVER, mentioned Orochimaru, ever. He's kept quiet about it, not bringing attention, not reminding you. Then you go and ask me if I'm going to drive drunk. What kind of bastard are you? I would never drive drunk, Naruto or not!" And then, Gaara punched Sasuke in the face.

"Ow! Screw you!"

"Thanks, but no thanks. Oh, can we forget last night? Who got you up in the middle of the night and made sure you didn't flip out? It sure as hell wasn't me, you ungrateful bastard. I have half a mind to leave you behind."

"You wouldn't." It was at that moment that Naruto bounced back into the car, carrying a bag and a Styrofoam cup filled with lemonade, followed by Kiba, who was carrying a cherry soda, Temari, who was carrying enough hard liquor to drug an army, and Shikamaru who was too lazy to carry any of their purchases. Everyone got resettled and Gaara was about to restart the car when Sasuke slipped out the side door to grab a Styrofoam cut that had rolled out. Sasuke picked it up and clipped himself on the side mirror. "Stupid car," he growled, kicking it.

"Oh, but I would," breathed Gaara.

And then Gaara drove away.

* * *

It was fifteen minutes before Temari noticed Sasuke was gone. 

"Where's Sasuke?" she asked suspiciously. Gaara just stared ahead.

"He deserved it. He kicked Murphy."

"Gaara! What the hell? Who cares if he kicked Murphy! Go back and get him right now! You can't just go around _leaving_ people. Did you know that the chances of being helped decrease considerably in a town under 5,000?" Temari demanded. "Turn around right now!"

"I'm not sure you understand. He _kicked_ Murphy."

"Turn around."

"He KICKED Murphy! MURPHY!" Gaara shouted. Temari just stared. "And he was mean to Naruto," he added as an afterthought. Temari just stared. "Whateva. But if he kicks the van one moore time, I will tear him to bits and roost im oover an oopen foire with choives and hezelnuts and Jack Froost nippin' atcher nose."

"Gaara?" Shikamaru said from the seat on the right wall.

"Yeah?"

"No more accent, or else I'm repossessing Murphy."

"But-- I mean, no more accent."

* * *

Sasuke was not faring well. In fact, he was faring miserably. He was sitting in front of the 'welcome to Weed' sign at the city limits. '_Well this is messed up…damn you Gaara…_' It was cold. Granted, Weed was only ten miles away from Mt. Shasta, but it was still frigid, even in proportion. Sasuke was left with no jacket, no map, no money, and no food. 

"Hi there," came a voice out of nowhere. Sasuke looked up.

"Hello?" he asked the voice. It was a teenage girl. She moved back and forth on the balls of her feet, staring at Sasuke with unwavering black eyes. "What do you want?" he asked.

"Why are you sitting here looking pathetic?" the girl wondered. "I mean, what happened?" she smiled and sat down next to him. Sasuke sighed. '_Why do I always seem to attract girls like magnets?_' he wondered.

"Road trip, my friends dumped me here for being a bastard."

"Did you deserve it?"

Sasuke paused. Did he deserve it? "Yeah, I deserved it." The girl nodded.

"What did you do?" she asked. Sasuke sighed and rubbed is temples with both hands, shifting weight from one side of his body to the other. '_How to sum up it all up,_' he wondered.

"I was absolutely horrific to my best friend, who's the greatest best friend ever He's always there for me, he never talks about stuff I don't want to talk about, he's always nice. On the other hand, I'm constantly flaky, always bringing up painful parts of his past, and keep acting like a complete bastard to the one person I care the most about." He glowered at a tree across the street.

"How long you going to be stuck here?" the girl asked.

"Until one of them grows a conscience," Sasuke answered.

"That could be a long time. I'm Isaribi."

"Sasuke."

"Nice to meet you. Well, I'll wait with you, considering I have no prior engagements," Isaribi muttered. "Tell me about your friends, and this road trip of yours."

"Well…Naruto is my best friend, and the reason I got kicked out; Gaara is the one who pushed me out and drove away and he obsesses over the van; Murphy is the van; Shikamaru is lazy but really smart and owns the van; Temari is Gaara's sister; and Kiba is the dog lover." Sasuke paused. "We're on a road trip because it's Summer Break. We're heading up to Oregon, across through Montana, South Dakota, Minnesota, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania and New York. We're going to turn around and go down through West Virginia, Kentucky, Tennessee, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico, and Arizona before going back home."

"Where's home?"

"Ventura, California. You?"

"Shasta City, ten miles on the _other_ side of the mountain. My car broke down though. Maybe those friends of yours could give me a ride when they get back?"

"Maybe."

"You're not freaking out."

"Why would I?" Sasuke asked, raising an eyebrow at Isaribi. '_She's not an escaped convict, is she?_' His eyes came to rest on the green scar that seemed to spread across part of her jaw and neck. "Why would I freak out."

"You've never heard of Mount Shasta?" Sasuke shook his head.

"Well, only in Geography Class," he corrected. The corner of Isaribi's mouth twitched.

"Then you don't know about the Lemurians, do you?" she asked quietly. Sasuke shook his head. "I can't believe I'm even thinking of telling you. Oh well, too late to take it back now, right?" she smiled. "Well…I guess I have to tell you about them now, just so you'll understand.

"Lemurians are the people of Atlantis. Some hailed from the stars Sirius or Pleiades while others came from what is now known as 'the Red Planet', in the form of astral projections to experience the physical vibrations of earth. They projected their souls on a continent that is now deeply submerged: Atlantis.

"We were now what is known as Atlanteans. When our continent sank, we fled to Mount Shasta. That's where we live now, in the base of the Mountain. Most of us live in Shasta City, though a couple live still live in the mountain." Isaribi smiled mirthlessly. "You don't believe me, do you?"

"It's not every day I meet strange girls who tell me they're from Atlantis," Sasuke replied. "Is it true?"

"Every word."

"What are you doing here then?" he asked. Isaribi shrugged.

"I needed a day off from my sisters. Weed's a nice place to do just that, considering it's so boring, it's exciting." Isaribi grinned and swayed back and forth. "Since your friends are gone, want to go have some fun?" she asked. Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"Fun?" he asked. Naruto tried to make him have fun. He _hated_ fun. Or, he pretended to.

"Yeah! That pizza place over there has an arcade! It's a pretty small arcade, but still awesome!" Isaribi jumped up and down. She grabbed Sasuke's hand, pulled him to his feet, and yanked him in the direction of the pizza parlor.

Ten minutes later, Sasuke was _laughing_. It felt nice to be able to laugh with someone. He never laughed with Naruto. '_I wonder why?_' he thought. He used to, but then, it must have started two years back, he never laughed anymore, with anyone.

Naruto had been his first friend at Konoha Elementary. Back before his brother went insane and killed his parents, he had had friends. Then, however, he became a freak. He didn't care when he moved. When he arrived at Konoha Elementary, he had always sat alone. He was the kid with no parents, the kid who lived with the creepy snake man, the kid who always showed up with bruises on his body and would sometimes walk with a limp.

Then Naruto arrived on his radar. Naruto who also had no parents. Naruto who had once been friendless as well. Naruto, who lived with a guardian almost as creepy as Orochimaru. Naruto who cared. One day, Naruto-who-cared decided that Sasuke-who-was-all-alone needed someone to sit next to. He had invited him to sit next with his friends: Shikamaru-who-was-lazy, Neji-who-was-angry, Hinata-who-was-shy, and Kiba-who-loved-dogs. Sasuke-who-was-all-alone ignored the blond boy's offer.

It went on like this. Naruto was incredibely diligent, even for a fifth grader. He asked every day for almost three months. Finally, Sasuke just gave in and said yes. He never sat alone again.

The dark, haunted, Raven-haired boy learned to laugh and smile again, even though he was still beaten. Then, two years ago, Orochimaru decided his charge was 'mature enough' for his sick twisted purposes. Sasuke didn't laugh anymore.

Isaribi beat him at Pac-Man. "You're kind of bad at this," she said with a laugh. "Hey, what kind of car do your friends drive?"

"Beige VW. It's name is Murphy," Sasuke answered automatically.

"Well, they just pulled in. And some girl with blonde hair is shouting at someone with red hair…now she's hitting him…now the red-head guy is crying…"

"Gaara is crying?"

"Well, close to it." Isaribi shrugged. "Do I get a ride?"

"I'll ask. Come on, I want to know what's going on." Sasuke bolted out of the arcade and ran up to Murphy, who was barreling down the street full force, Gaara and Shikamaru fighting for the wheel, Naruto looking frantic, and Temari looking drunk.

"Sasuke!" Naruto shouted. Gaara barely had time to slow down Murphy before the blond boy jumped out and pulled him into a hug. "We thought we lost you…stupid Gaara drove off without you!" he laughed nervously. "Who's your friend?"

"Isaribi, nice to meet you," Isaribi answered. "Now what is going on, and why are they still driving in circles?"

"Oh…Shikamaru owns the van," Naruto pointed to Shikamaru, "and he threatened to take away my friend Gaara's," he pointed to the now-crying red-head, "driving privileges. I mean, Shikamaru even said he'd swear off alcohol for the rest of the trip so he could drive."

"You made Gaara cry, you dirty, dirty bastard," Sasuke said with a laugh. "Could we give Isaribi a ride back to Shasta City? It's ten miles on the _other_ side of the mountain. That's like, twenty minutes. Well, thirty if Shika drives, ten if Gaara does."

"Sure," shouted Gaara, still scuffling with Shikamaru. "We don't want to take thirty minutes, now do we? GIVE ME THE WHEEL!" Shikamaru let go of the wheel and slumped against the seat.

"Don't think this means you won Sabaku. But you _bite_. It's too troublesome to fight you." The stoic boy fell back.

"Thank you! Oh Murphy how I missed you!" Gaara cried. "I'll never, ever let them touch you again. Never." There was a tearful reunion. '_He's acting like Gai,_' Naruto remarked to himself. '_He should snap out of it soon. I mean, it's _Gaara.' Naruto shook his head.

"We'll give you a ride. Gaara, slow down for her!" Naruto said, almost with a laugh. Murphy slowed. "Hey, you have to jump in. Long story." Isaribi nodded and leapt into the van with grace. She looked a little like water.

"Okay! Thanks, by the way." She grinned as Sasuke jumped into the car and slammed the door shut behind him. "Onwards!"

* * *

Gaara turned off the exit to Shasta City. '_It's really nice here,_' Sasuke noted. '_I think I might come back one day._' Isaribi directed Gaara to her house: turn onto the exit, straight for a little bit, turn right, go straight down the tree-lines road for a long time until you hit such-and-such street. '_I really like it here._' The trees were all green, and Mount Shasta was just visible over their tops. 

"It's nice here," Naruto commented, sounding almost bewildered. Sasuke smirked to himself. '_I guess I'm not the only one._'

"I know, isn't it?" Isaribi called from the front seat. Everyone had taken a liking to the Atlantean, and when she told them the story of Mount Shasta and Atlantis, Naruto immediately wanted to move there. Shikamaru had called him troublesome, but the stoic boy failed miserably at hiding his excitement and wonder of the city.

"It's one of the seven chakra points on earth," Isaribi continued.

"Chakra?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah, like the human body has Chakra points that you could use to heal people with, the earth has them too. Mount Shasta is the seventh of seven," Isaribi explained. "But it's a pretty place anyway. In fact, it's one of the most beautiful places I've ever been. Granted, Weed isn't the most beautiful place ever."

"I second that!" Sasuke shouted. "On both accounts." Murphy pulled up in front of a shell-shock pink house.

"This is me. Hey, if you guys ever need a place in Shasta, look me up!" Isaribi passed a slip of paper to Sasuke before jumping out of the moving van and waving goodbye. The six teenagers bid her farewell, waving in return, and drove back to the highway. Shikamaru had repossessed Murphy as punishment, but decided it was only for this one short drive.

"She's nice," Kiba said vaguely. "So…where to next?"

"San Francisco," Shikamaru replied flatly.

"How long?" Gaara asked casually.

"When we get there, Gaara, we are going to the hotel, and Murphy is going to be locked from the inside with the keys, which will remain in my possession until which time we leave the hotel and drive into Oregon. Parking is killer. We won't even need the car."

"But--"

"You shouldn't have pushed Sasuke out then," Shikamaru replied. "Now, forget it." He shook it off and started the car. Temari sighed and leaned over the partition to reach into the back and find herself a beer. Then came an ear-splitting shriek.

"SHIKAMARU!" she shouted. "SHIKAMARU!"

With a quick 'troublesome' muttered under his breath, Shikamaru braked and turned around to face the blonde girl's back. "What is it?" he asked lazily. Temari was hyperventilating.

"THERE'S A GIANT LIZARD BACK HERE!" she shrieked. "IT'S GOTTA BE THREE FEET LONG!"

* * *

**Ooh, lizard...read and review, most loved reviewers.**

**That's why I love you.**


	3. Day 3: San Francisco

Ah…yes, all of the stores mentioned in this chapter do exist. If you think 'it sounds familiar' and you've been to San Francisco, it probably is.

Another chapter. Another chapter in road trip from hell. Hmm…maybe I can lure Gaara to my house by using Murphy as bait. Or promise him death. Loads and loads of death. I don't own him though.

* * *

Shikamaru braked. Gaara squealed in displeasure as Murphy careened out of control and nearly flipped over. Luckily, despite his laziness, Shikamaru was smart enough to get good grades in _all_ his classes. This included driver's ed. He managed to get Murphy under control, and pull over.

"What?" he demanded emotionlessly. Temari squealed and rolled on the floor.

"Lizard! Giant LIZARD!!!" she screamed. Kiba was the only one brave enough to actually look back there. He came back, eyebrows raised.

"It's a lizard," he confirmed.

"Hey there's a note!" Naruto said, reaching over the partition to grab what looked like a white slip of paper from the collar of the lizard. He opened it up. "It's from Sakura!"

"Same one that had a crush on Sasuke?"

"That's the one," Naruto confirmed. "Note says 'Hey Naruto, I found out your route because you left it on one of the tables, it said you were going through Gat…li…" Naruto trailed off, staring at the paper in concentration.

"Gatlinburg," Sasuke said quickly. "I mean, Sakura's handwriting sucks. Probably says Gatlinburg." Gaara shot him an approving look, and Naruto shot him a thankful one. Sasuke nodded for the blond boy to continue.

"Alright, 'Hey Naruto, yada yada yada, Gatlinburg, could you drop Lee off with my boyfriend Kakashi. Then she left an address."

"Kakashi? Like, our teacher Kakashi?" Kiba asked. Naruto examined the name again.

"One in the same," he replied. "I always knew those two would end up together, even if the guy moved. Sakura never struck me as a the long-distance relationship type though."

"She never did get over Sasuke anyway. So…are we keeping it?" Naruto asked. "I like Lizards!" he squealed and jumped up and down, shaking the van. Gaara glared.

"It's up to Gaara," Kiba answered.

"Why?"

"Because it just pissed in the back seat."

* * *

Shikamaru glared at the lizard. The six of them were holed up in the Pacific Inn, staring at the lizard, which had taken a liking to Gaara. Gaara, of course, had decided it was time for it to say bye-bye when he discovered it peed in the back of Murphy. Shikamaru, however suddenly decided he loved the lizard. Murphy was sent to be detailed. Shikamaru thought it was worth the trouble, since Gaara stopped begging for the car. Parking fines were not worth the trouble. 

"I say we get rid of it," Gaara said.

"No," Shikamaru answered. "Too troublesome to get rid of. Sakura will kill us." Gaara looked homicidal.

"Not if I kill her first!" he argued. Shikamaru rolled his eyes.

"Dinner. We need dinner. Sasuke and Naruto, go get food," Shikamaru ordered.

"Why us?"

"Because I _said_. I can't send Kiba, he'd get lost. I can't send Gaara, he'd flip out and go after Murphy. I can't go because I can't go."

"What can't you go?" asked Sasuke sharply.

"Too troublesome. Now go." Shikamaru rolled over on the pull out couch and waved the two boys away. "Go get Chinese." Sasuke and Naruto sent final, venomous glares in their friend's direction before grabbing a key and stomping out of the hotel room.

The two boys walked out of the parking lot, a couple blocks in one direction, a couple blocks in another, and by some miracle, they managed to find a Chinese restaurant.

Naruto was, of course, entranced first by the fishies and then by the movie playing on a mounted television, and left Sasuke to order. Sasuke, who disliked this very much, was slightly angry as he ordered their meal. When he returned to the table Naruto had found, he was still in a bit of a bad mood.

"What did you get?" Naruto asked brightly. Sasuke scowled.

"Does it matter?"

"Yes," Naruto replied.

"Orange chicken in 'little pieces' for Shikamaru because it's too 'troublesome' to cut it up, miso soup for you, fried prawns for Temari, chow mien for me, whatever had 'spicy' in the name for Gaara, beef with broccoli for Kiba, and rice for all of us. Happy Loser?" Sasuke barked back, turning away. Naruto continued to watch Monsters Inc.

"Don't call me that Bastard!" he answered automatically. The order was done in an uncharacteristically short period of time, saving the two teenagers from themselves and the plastic knives. Sasuke picked it up, and the two boys padded back to their hotel, nearly tripping over several sidewalk cracks on the way.

When the two boys returned, they were practically bowled over by everyone except Gaara, who just stared before taking his food. Everyone stared ravenously though, and soon almost everyone was totally engrossed in their own food.

Shikamaru was poking a too-large piece of orange chicken. "Troublesome," he muttered.

"You don't like orange chicken?" Temari asked, sitting beside her friend. Shikamaru shook his head and poked another piece with the wrong end of his fork.

"It isn't _that_, it's just too troublesome to cut up," he muttered. Temari shrugged.

"I'll cut it up for you." She took the black plastic knife from the boy's and cut the copper food into smaller pieces. "Better?" she asked, passing the plate back to him. Shikamaru eyed it, took a bite, and nodded.

"Much. Thank you Temari," he smirked before trying to impale the sliver of chicken with the wrong end of the fork.

"You're poking it with the wrong end," Temari said helpfully.

"There are no wrong ends for geniuses."

Eventually, everyone was finished with their meals. Shikamaru ordered Gaara to do the dishes, but Gaara was too busy trying to kill Lee with his mind powers. The lizard seemed to be enjoying the attention, and was happily leaping from light fixture to light fixture, all laws of physics cast aside. '_That has to be Gai's lizard,_' thought Naruto. '_Wonder where Sakura got him. He's really neat._' Sasuke, on the other hand, had yet to forgive the pink haired girl for dumping the creature with them. '_When I get my hands on her…_' he seethed.

"Who sleeps where?" Kiba asked. "I call that bed." He pointed on the bed in the main room, next to the pull-out.

"Getting up on that bed is too troublesome, and the pull out takes too much energy to…well…pull out. Temari, you pull it out, I'll sleep on it."

"Okay. I don't mind. I call sharing with Shika!" Several eyes fixed on her. "It's either him or Naruto. Naruto. No offence though Naru. Just…self-preservation. For you really, not me." She laughed nervously.

"But--" Naruto protested.

"Yes Naruto, you're going to have to share with Sasuke. Mostly because of his little nighttime problem. Shikamaru would ignore him, Kiba or I would slap him, and Temari would probably be sort of useless. The bed is in another room. That's why you guys get it."

"Nighttime problem?" Kiba asked suspiciously, a smirk twitching at his lips.

"Not like that!" Sasuke shouted in protest. "What ever you are thinking, you are wrong. Totally, totally wrong." Kiba just smirked, fished his pillow out from their luggage, and unrolled it. He threw it on the bed, climbed on top, circled around a few times, and then burrowed into the warm covers and cotton.

Temari pulled out the pull-out couch with the help of her brother before sliding under the pressed cotton sheets. Shikamaru slithered in next to her and bid everyone good night with a quick 'g'nya." Temari rolled her eyes, flicked out the light, and cuddled with the pinstripe pillow.

Gaara found his sleeping bag. He never slept more than three hours, tops, but he was still susceptible to cold.

Sasuke and Naruto retreated to the other room. Naruto turned down the covers on the left side and slipped under them. He rolled over a couple of times before grabbing a pillow and snuggling with it. He was just starting to doze off when he felt someone shaking his shoulder.

"Naruto?" Sasuke's voice.

"Yeah?" Naruto mumbled into the cottony whiteness that is a hotel pillow.

"Can you switch with me? I…I don't want to be by the window," the dark haired boy muttered. Naruto cracked one azure eye. He rolled over to the other side of the bed, nearly hitting his elbow on the mahogany nightstand in the process.

"Sure," he answered softly. Sasuke nodded his acknowledgement and climbed onto the left side. The raven curled up, clutching a pillow, and went to sleep. Naruto pried _his_ pillow out from under his friend. '_Silly Sasuke…lose some weight! All that chow mien is going to your hips!_'

"Night Naruto…" Sasuke muttered as he shifted to release the pillow.

"Night Sasuke." Naruto shut his eyes, knowing it wouldn't be the last time they spoke that night.

* * *

Sasuke fell out of bed with a resounding thunk. He crawled slowly across the floor, barely able to move due to fear, and tried piteously to reach the door handle. Naruto heard the dark-haired boy slam into the thin wooden door. 

"Sasuke?" he asked the air. He heard a groan from Sasuke. "Did you hit your head?" The blond eased his way out of the horribly soft bed and onto the floor. Even though it was pitch black, the room was mostly occupied by bed, which meant Naruto found his friend in a matter of seconds. "Calm down…don't hurt yourself…the edges of the tables are sharp."

"He's going to kill me," sniffled Sasuke. Naruto sighed. '_Stupid Gaara. I know _he_ could handle it. It's Gaara. So why am I the one doing this?_' Naruto shrugged it off.

"No one's going to kill you," Naruto said, sighing lightly to himself. "Just calm down. It was only a dream."

"But he's coming back for me. And he's going after you too," Sasuke added in a low whisper. He clung to Naruto tightly. Naruto sighed. '_Gaara, in the morning, there shall be karma. Karma that will bite you in the ass._' It wasn't that Naruto minded a clingy Sasuke, only that it was foisted upon him. '_Oh well, can't blame Gaara…he _is_ useless at this stuff._'

"Well, he'll kill us in the morning, okay? Come on, up you go, just come back to sleep with me." Naruto snaked an arm around Sasuke's waist and hoisted him up. The blond half carried half dragged his friend back to bed.

"But…" Sasuke protested. Naruto ignored the boy's pleas and dropped him onto the bed.

"It's just a dream. I promise. You remember where we are, don't you?" he asked. Sasuke shook his head, looking around.

"I'm not at home," he breathed.

"No…you're with me. I'll make sure no one comes after you. You trust me, right?" Sasuke nodded, charcoal tickling Naruto's chin.

"I trust you," he breathed, slowly easing closer to his friend.

"Now go to sleep, you'll feel better in the morning," Naruto replied as he rolled over. It wasn't two seconds though before Sasuke was prodding him again. The blond boy rolled over to face the other boy. "What?"

Before a poor, bewildered Naruto could react, Sasuke had his arms wrapped around the blond boy's neck and was holding on for dear life. "Night Naruto," Sasuke breathed. His breath tickled Naruto's ear, fogging up one of the blond's many piercings. Naruto _shivered._ He shook his head and returned the embrace. '_You just don't go around _hugging_ your best friend like this. It's weird. Well…maybe not. I mean, he was having a nightmare._' Naruto shrugged it off and held the other boy tighter to his body.

"Night Sasuke."

* * *

Gaara Sabaku was never one for waking up nicely. He wasn't a morning person. He wasn't an afternoon person. Hell, he wasn't even an evening person. He slept exactly three hours, every day, until he fell asleep from exhaustion, usually on a Thursday, and slept until further notice. 

Today, he did not wake up nicely in the least. Even by Temari's standards. Even by his own standards.

"Holy shit!" the red-head screamed. Some unknown object flew threw the air and hit the wall. "GET IT OFF!" The unknown object shifted. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!" Kiba was up, staring at Gaara in disbelief. Despite it's thinness, the door leading to Naruto and Sasuke's room was fairly sound proof, so they were still asleep. Temari and Shikamaru however were a different story.

"Gaara?" Temari asked carefully. "What's going on? You didn't dream about the raccoon again, did you?" The blonde girl's eyes flickered over her brother carefully. Gaara shook his head.

"IT WAS IN MY BED!" he shouted. He pointed at Lee, who was crawling across the floor. "THE LIZARD DEMON FROM _HELL_!" He turned on Shikamaru, pale green eyes practically red. "I want Murphy back," he said in a calm, slow, low voice. "I want him back, and I want him back now. I'm going to sleep in the parking lot."

"But Murphy is--"  
"I will kill you. Right now. I will kill you and make it look like a bloody accident." Gaara was so calm, it was frightening.

"You'll never get Murphy back," Shikamaru taunted back. Gaara just cracked a smile.

"Ooh, but I will. You see, I could just threaten to break every bone in your body, every bone in everyone you care about's body--"

"I care about Temari," Shikamaru pointed out. Temari blushed.

"Murphy comes first."

"Before your own sister?"

"Murphy comes first."

"Before spicy Chinese food?"

"Murphy comes first."

"Before yourself?"

"How would he _ever_ be in that situation?" Temari asked. Shikamaru shrugged.

"Either dive into the lake and save Murphy, but drown, or run away and survive and let Murphy drown." He stared pointedly at Gaara. Gaara contemplated.

"I would never let Murphy fall into a lake. And if eh did., I'm making you go after him." The red-head boy held out a hand. "Keys?" Shikamaru sighed.

"Troublesome," he muttered. "It won't be ready until tonight." Temari suddenly beamed.

"Let's got to the San Francisco Science Museum! We can see Chinatown too, I heard it's great. And a bar, and we could drive over the Golden Gate Bridge! Please Shika?" She stuck out her bottom lip in a pout. '_That's scary,_' thought Gaara. The insomniac paused. '_Oh the irony of that statement._'

"But it's so troublesome…" Shikamaru protested. "Oh well, the Science Museum could be entertaining for a few minutes. Gaara, you're getting the rest of them up, or no Murphy." Shikamaru and Temari were out the door faster than a pack of starving hyenas on a T-Bone steak. In seconds, they had run the thirty meters to the bus stop. Gaara sighed. '_Oh for the love of a car._'

* * *

"This is great!" Naruto cried happily as he tried to touch the teapot for the thirtieth time. Shikamaru sighed. 

"It's an optical illusion Naruto…the teacup is under the stage. That's just a projection." The stoic boy sighed and wandered off.

"What are you doing Loser?" Sasuke asked, coming up behind Naruto. Naruto spun around, still grinning at his friend. Before he responded though, he was dragging Sasuke over to a 'personality map'.

"I need to map your personality," he said, sliding the slide marked 'introvert/extrovert' all the way over to the 'introvert' side. "It'll be fun!" he jumped up and down. '_Sensory overload,_' observed Sasuke. He felt like he owed Naruto though, so he agreed to the blond boy's pleas.

When they were done, Naruto was leading Sasuke off to do some kind of trick with mirrors. Then they ran up stares to see how quietly they could walk over a bunch of gravel. All six of them were surprisingly good at it. Amazingly good at it, in fact. Eventually though, Sasuke thought his eyes would fall out, and Kiba was getting dizzy just looking at the exhibits.

"Let's go away now," he muttered. Shikamaru sighed.

"So troublesome…and I was just having fun too. Let's go." The walked out and back to the nearest bus stop. Temari convinced them to ride the bus to Chinatown. Shikamaru, surprisingly, acquiesced to her demand, even though it involved a lot of walking. A lot of walking. A lot of walking up and down hills.

* * *

They stopped in a Buddhist supply store first. Temari bought quite a bit of spirit money, while Shikamaru bought a clock. It was a cat, and the only pre-assembled one. Temari sighed and tugged him into the next store. The next stores were mostly cheap trinket stores. The one of the ones they stopped in, however, was like a mall. 

Temari bought a set of tea cups. They were white, with little blue koi on them. That, and they were sixty nine cents each. She packed them up with one of the lucky coins, and put them into her massive straw bag. Even Shikamaru had to admit she looked sort of cute.

Shikamaru found a wind chime. He liked wind chimes. They were only troublesome when they got tangled though, but this one was only five bucks. Worth the trouble, considering he would probably hang it on Murphy's rear-view mirror, just so Gaara would be the one to untangle it.

Sasuke didn't even touch his money. He did, however, watch in slight interest as Naruto purchased a ramen bowl, then proceeded to try and convince Shikamaru to but him ramen. Shikamaru was unamused.

The last store was a gallery of sorts. There were fountains, tee-shirts, stones, stamps. Gaara picked through the name stones until he found one that said 'Murphy'. He quickly bought it, much to Shikamaru's chagrin. Temari found a Chinese-ish dress that fit her and didn't buy it, also much to Shikamaru's chagrin. Eventually, he snuck back and bought it for her. '_How uncharacteristically untroublesome,_' he mused.

Sasuke bought something. He didn't share what it was.

* * *

They arrived back almost two hours, one Golden Gate Bridge, and three bars later. "Alright…we have food, we have booze, we're done for the night," Shikamaru said as they loitered in the hotel room. The rest of them nodded. Kiba was only half awake, Temari had passed out already. Gaara, still holding hope for Murphy, was totally sober, and Naruto had was assigned to making sure Lee didn't get within ten feet of Gaara, which was hard in a fifteen by fifteen room. Sasuke had this sort of distant look in his eye, despite not really having consumed much alcohol. None, actually. "So troublesome," Shikamaru remarked. "Make sure they fall asleep wherever they're going to sleep." 

"Come on Sasuke," Naruto said, almost annoyed. "Shikamaru is being pissy." The blond boy quietly led his friend to the other room. "Sleep now." The blond himself was tired, and he didn't want to have to baby sit Sasuke. He would have to do that in three hours anyway.

"Sleep," Sasuke echoed. "Sleep."


	4. Day 4: San Francisco and Eugene

**Oh dear…Sasuke can be so OoC at night. Just bear with me, he's had some trauma. Also, thanks to reviewers. (Oh, to clear it up: Temari is technically twenty-one, but for the sake of simplicity, I do refer to her as a teenager.) **

Now, my little stalkers, now is when you wonder how I know so much about Eugene, Oregon, Hippie-Central and home of Dei-dei and my friend's OC. She reads my SasuNaru, I write in her OC. Rainbow vans. Eugene is THE COOLEST place to go, ever. It's an even better place to live. Or…erm…so I've heard:nervous laguhter: It's way awesome place to live.

* * *

Gaara stared. He stared at the lizard. The lizard smiled back. Gaara made intimidating gestures at the lizard. The lizard smiled back. Gaara growled at the lizard. Kiba hit Gaara with a shoe. 

Eventually, the lizard shut its eyes. '_Good Lee, sleep…sleep, and never awaken again!_' Gaara screamed inside his head. Lee just sat there, in all his lizard-ness. Gaara kept staring. One piece of Gaara so few see: he can stare at an object, or a person, or a lizard, for hours, and not blink once. Not even once. All normal needs are suspended. The stare would be so hateful, it could scar you for life. Usually, people never saw this side of Gaara. Usually, if he was mad enough to glare like this, he would have killed the people. He couldn't kill the lizard though, not yet. Gaara glared. It was all payback for the chain of events the lizard's undersized bladder set in motion.

The first event was angering almost everyone, and flipping out Temari. Temari, who was angry if denied beer. Since no one would go back, reach around the suddenly-there lizard and get her a beer, that angered her. Shikamaru deemed the animal troublesome, but Naruto wouldn't let him get rid of it, seeing as it was Sakura's. Then there was Sasuke. Sasuke was always angry.

The second event that occurred was Murphy needing detailing. This was bad because Gaara was separated from his beloved car, and Shikamaru _finally_ had a tidbit to hold over Gaara's head. Gaara hated this.

The third event that stupid lizard's teeny bladder caused was the lack of said car. This meant bus system. This meant being kicked off the bus system for being drunk and disorderly. This meant walking. This meant walking up hills, for six miles, at one in the morning. This meant war.

The reptile didn't move. It didn't even stir. Gaara briefly debated putting it in the freezer. '_No…Temari will find it,_' he muttered. '_She stores her alcohol in the freezer. Fridge?_' he thought a moment. '_No…they stored leftovers in there. Damn them. I hope they choke. I hope they choke lots. There's always the window. Splat…_' Gaara snickered to himself. '_One day, Lee the Lizard, you shall die by my hands._'

The lizard just looked happy.

* * *

Naruto groaned in aggravation. It was four in the morning. He rolled over to face Sasuke, who he knew was awake. The dark-haired, unnaturaly pale boy, made only paler by hte eerie moonlight, was totally silent, but his black eyes were open and staring into the back of Naruto's head. This scared Naruto the most. He wasn't even sure why. 

Sasuke stared off into space, feeling totally alone in the world. This kind of nightmare was the worst. It was the same dream, and it was Orochimaru's dream. Orochimaru only had the one dream, the rest belonged to Itachi. Orochimaru's dream, however, was the most terrible. It was _that_ dream, the dream-that-was-a-memory, the memory that, if Sasuke ever told anyone, would have Orochimaru down as 'child molester'. Sasuke didn't tell though. He never told anyone.

"Sasuke," Naruto groaned. "What's up now?" Sasuke didn't talk. "Sasuke?" The blond boy propped himself up on one arm. "Are you okay?"

"Fine," Sasuke whispered. "Fine. Just…sleep. Only a dream." Sasuke laughed mirthlessly inside his head. '_How ironic, that my only memory is 'just a dream' and all my fantasies seem real._' He didn't bother to contemplate the thought any further. In fact, the only though that ran through his head at that moment was the dream, the nightmare-that-was-a-memory.

Naruto started. It was never 'just a dream' for Sasuke. Ever. "What's really going on?" Naruto asked gently. He reached out and pushed a small strand out of Sasuke's face. Sasuke shied away and fell onto the floor with a resounding thunk. Naruto shot him an almost triumphant look.

"Dream," Sasuke muttered. "The nightmare-that-is-a-memory." Naruto slid off the bed and sat opposite Sasuke on the floor. The dark haired boy stared at his friend, knees drawn up to his chin, arms wrapped around his legs as if to form some barrier.

"Tell me what you dreamt about," Naruto paused, "unless you don't want to. You will tell me, won't you?" He leaned over the gap between the bed and the wall and shifted so he leaned on the same wall as Sasuke, close enough that he could hear his friend's ragged breathing. Sasuke shook his head, scooting away.

"No. Leave me alone," he muttered, staring intently at the floor. It was their nightly ritual, for nights like these, when Sasuke wasn't still in his dream world: Naruto would care, Sasuke would push him away, and then in the morning, neither teenager would mention it. Or they could screw the plan.

"How about I don't leave you alone and you tell me," the blond boy said. Sasuke looked up in slight confusion. '_This is not following the blueprint,_' he thought, or along the lines of that. Naruto reached out, pushing Sasuke's shoulder gently against the wall. "Don't shut me out again. You wake me up in the middle of the night. You've been doing it for years. Could you at least tell me what else is going on? What the hell keeps be from sleeping a decent night through?"

"No."

"Yes." Naruto stared fiercely at Sasuke. "If I can't sleep, I want my justification."

"Orochimaru," Sasuke finally answered. '_Since I met him in fifth grade…Naruto has been persistent,_' Sasuke mused with a mirthless laugh.

"He beats you," Naruto muttered, more a statement than a question. Sasuke nodded.

"You know he does," the dark haired boy replied.

"What else?" Naruto pressed.

"How do you know there's more?" Sasuke demanded, glaring ferociously at Naruto, teeth bared in anger and frustration at the other boy's persistence. Naruto shrugged.

"I didn't, until just now." The blond haired boy scooted closer to his friend, running spindly fingers through unruly black hair. "Calm down, okay? I just want to help whatever way I can." Sasuke turned away again. Naruto's finger caught over a snarl and Sasuke yelped.

"That hurt," he whined. Naruto sighed and untangled his fingers from the other boy's hair. "You aren't helping by yanking out all my hair. I'm going to need that later." Sasuke rolled over to face his friend again.

"I know…it's too adorable to rip out," Naruto agreed. "Now what's up? You're acting different."

"Why do you care so much?" Sasuke retorted hotly, biting back a slightly snider remark. Naruto sighed.

"You're hurting. Friends help friends when they're hurting, right?" Naruto ran his fingers through Sasuke's hair again. Sasuke nodded unsurely.

"I guess…" he murmured. "Don't leave," he added as an afterthought.

"I wouldn't," Naruto assured the dark haired boy. "Now go to sleep, and when you wake up, it'll be tomorrow, alright?" Sasuke nodded and snuggled under the sheets. A few seconds later, the boy's onyx eyes clicked open again.

"Hey Naruto?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we switch? I don't want to be near the window."

"Of course."

* * *

Shikamaru woke up hungry. It was late morning by then, and Temari, Gaara nad Kiba were already up and around. Naruto and Sasuke were still asleep, '_but,_' Shikamaru thought, '_with their sleeping habits, it's probably infinitely troublesome to try and get up on time._' "I'm hungry," the pony-tailed boy proclaimed. 

"I know what we can eat…" Gaara said with a slight snicker. His eyes cast onto the form of a sleeping Lee, who's little green arms were stuck up in the air.

"No Gaara. We're not eating the lizard."

"Yes, or else I kill you," Gaara argued back. Shikamaru shook his head.

"Did you ever want to drive again? I thought so. Wait…why is it…swaying? It looks…" Shikamaru trailed off. He turned a stony look on Kiba and Temari. The two teenagers shied away. "Temari, you left alcohol out, didn't you?"

"Oops…" she muttered. "Is that bad?"

"The lizard is DRUNK. I'll say that's bad!" Shikamaru fumed. Lee toppled off the nightstand. Gaara smiled and picked up the creature lovingly. This was suspicious, considering Gaara fostered no loving feelings for _any_ creature, and certainly not this creature. He _hated_ this creature.

"Come on little guy, I'm going to take you to the playground," Gaara cooed. Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. Then, of course, it dawned on him as Gaara placed the unstable lizard on the windowsill above a thirty foot drop.

"Gaara…" Shikamaru scolded. Gaara looked at the windowsill longingly and put the drunken lizard down on the floor. He stared at it until Naruto walked in. Naruto stared at Gaara, who stared at Lee, who stared at a fly.

"Hey, what's on the agenda for today?" Naruto asked sleepily.

"Leaving today," Kiba responded. "We need to get packed up, so make sure Sasuke gets his lazy ass out of bed and starts packing. God, he's worse than Shikamaru." The brunette boy shook his head and proceeded to throw a few articles of dirty clothes into the open tweed suitcase on the floor.

Naruto nodded and padded over the mauve carpet into the other room. Sasuke was splayed out, pale skin merging with the white sheets, contrasting starkly with the green paisley bedspread. Naruto eased himself slowly down beside his friend so as not to wake him to abruptly, and slowly shook the older boy's arm.

"Sasuke, wake up. We're leaving."

"Aniki?" the raven asked groggily. His eyes opened though and he quickly took in his surroundings. "Sorry Naruto. I was dreaming," he paused, seeing his friend's stricken expression, "it was a good dream."

"We're leaving," Naruto repeated, though his face did break into a smile. "Get your lazy ass up, stop impersonating Shikamaru." Sasuke rolled out of bed and tottered over to the dresser. He grabbed his crumbled blue jeans, pulled them on, and followed Naruto into the main room. Kiba was cleaning out the refrigerator, grabbing the last of the left over soy sauce, before the six of them headed out.

"Where is Mu-- holy Lee Slaughtering Deity, what the hell did they do to my car?!"

"Technically it's Shika-- what did they do to Gaara's car?!" Naruto demanded. Instead of a dull beige, the side of the car facing them was now a rather new shade of raspberry. A bright, outspoken shade of raspberry. Shikamaru stared. Gaara gaped.

"It looks nice," Temari said in an attempt to calm her brother.

Gaara circled the VW a few times. In addition to the raspberry color, there were swirls of yellow painted on the sides. The front of the van was now a midnight blue, adorned with a picture of the globe from one side, a cerulean peace symbol, what looked like bean leaves, orange growing off the vines attached to said bean leaves, a huge hibiscus flower and canary stars in the navy sky.

The side that had been facing away from them was entirely black and white, a strange twisting twirling pattern of black and white bands careening and writhing, trapped in the paint. The only color on the left side of the van was a small blue snake and a brown bird painted on the side-view mirror.

The back of Murphy was completely taken up with the Japanese Kanji for love in a bright red. It was outlined in black, which contrasted sharply with the warm raspberry. Gaara poked at the Kanji before turning his pea-green eyes on Shikamaru.

"How did they do this in a day?" he asked. Kiba was entranced.

"Fuck! Man, this is awesome!" he danced around. Shikamaru rolled his eyes, ignoring the dancing brunette, and instead turned to answering Gaara's question.

"I don't know. Goes to show what I get for dropping a van off at the Fabulous Rainbow Car Detailer." Shikamaru rolled his eyes again and examined the pain job. "This cost me almost none of that troublesome money…shall we go?" he asked. No one moved. "You know, we're on a hill. We don't _need_ to push."

Suddenly, everyone was completely enthusiastic to go. They rolled down the incline of the motel parking lot, then down the incline of a huge hill. Gaara was so happy to finally have his car back that he nearly ran down four old women, and the man-scouts who were helping them cross. In fact, Gaara nearly ran down people on the sidewalk.

"Calm down…you'll have plenty of time…" Shikamaru muttered. He was still hungry. '_But the chances of Gaara actually stopping are the same as me deciding to 'get motivated'._' He rolled over, clutching the nearest pillow, and went to sleep.

Fifteen minutes later, Temari was sleeping next to him, due to Gaara's driving making her severely ill. She gently scooted Shikamaru's head over and lay against the blue pillow, the boy's ponytail tickling her chin. She shut her eyes and went to sleep, rocked into dream-land by the insane jumping of Murphy-the-new-age-hippie-van.

Kiba was sitting behind the partition, playing with Lee. He was ignoring Gaara's shouts of 'we can make it in eight hours if we hurry!'. They were all headed to Eugene, Oregon, where Gaara said he knew someone really awesome. '_If Gaara knows them,_' Kiba thought with a laugh, '_then maybe I should play sick._'

Naruto and Sasuke slept next to each other, smooshed under the seats and clutching each other for dear life as Murphy-the-hippie-from-hell bounced over the highway, Gaara at its head, cheering the raspberry beast onwards. They lurched. Sasuke rolled tighter against his blond friend, and Naruto didn't even wake up when the van dropped into a pothole.

* * *

Eight hours passed really fast. When everyone, except Kiba, woke up, they were in Eugene, Oregon, having long crossed the border out of California. Kiba was still attempting to figure out how Lee could do those double hand springs, and had never sleeped at all. When they drove in off the highway, the first part of the city Naruto saw was a giant billboard talking about the ducks football. Then the ducks basketball. Ducks hockey. Houses were painted green and yellow, flags hung from balconies, whole flower gardens were painted green and yellow. '_They have some serious spirit,_' the blond boy thought. 

Gaara turned past the Dutch Bros and the Tattoo Parlor. He drove on by 'The Office Gentlemen's Club' and past the Chinese restaurant. Past the sea food restaurant with the giant anchor. Finally he turned down a side street with a small green sign reading 'Iwa Drive', and pulled up in front of a house with such a paint job, it put Murphy to shame.

"We're here!" Gaara practically sang. The high of having Murphy back, with an awesome paint job had yet to wear off. "At the lovely home of my friends Deidara and Remika Kagerou." Gaara stopped his multicolored van right next to a multicolored van.

The six of them trooped to the front door. The woman who opened when they knocked was striking. She had blondish brown hair to her shoulders, some of it in the back pulled into a bun. The hair that fell off of the bun was put in a loose ponytail. She had one long strand of hair that stuck out in front. She had burns up and down her body, and her neck looked like it was missing a chunk from it. On one hip she had balanced an infant who appeared to be thoroughly enjoying the woman's hair, a three year old was clutching at the hem of her blouse, and behind her was a shouting child who looked to be about five.

The woman motioned for them to enter. "DEIDARA!" shouted Gaara. Thirty seconds later, a man who appeared to be in his mid-twenties was racing down the stairs, blond hair flying, and practically barreled into Gaara.

"Gaara un!" he said jubilantly. "How've you been?"

"Fine Deidara. These are my friends, and you know my sister…" the introductions were rather quick. "I saw you got a new paint job for the Wagon." Deidara nodded.

"Remika painted it. I have to sell my wares in something half-way decent un. She also just finished dinner…did you guys want some un?" The six teenagers were quick to agree to the latter. With the exception of Gaara, they had all been either asleep or preoccupied, and none of them had slept.

After introductions to Deidara and Remika's children (seven all together: triplets and two sets of twins), dinner and desert, the six travelers were ready for a decent nights rest. However, they still had to work out sleeping arrangements.

"I am not sharing with a couple of five year olds," Kiba said. Gaara shot him a 'you're being rude' look.

"I'll sleep in Murphy, you get the spare room, Temari and Shikamaru sleep in the attic and Naruto and Sasuke can share with Dawn and Aurora."

"We want to share with Uncle Gaara!" protested a set of identical girls. "Uncle Gaara is the best!"

"We can make it one night in the van alone," Naruto assured his friend. "Besides, we'll keep Lee company." As soon as the 'L word' was said, Gaara was sold.

Naruto and Sasuke padded down the driveway and opened up Murphy. They slid in, burrowed under the blankets, and rolled under the seats. They really did fit perfectly into the cavity beneath the leather. In fact, it was so perfect, Sasuke didn't even care when his hair made contact with gold fish.

No one had eaten goldfish since eighth grade.

* * *

**Tada! Read and review lovelies.**


	5. Day 5: Eugene

****

Oh dear…my love for Eugene means they'll probably end up spending a bunch of time there. It's angering me that I wrote they passed the big anchor, considering the tattoo place/coffee kiosk is closer to the highway than the giant anchor. Don't you feel deprived? Also, I'm pretty sure so-called Iwa street is actually Olive Street.

Do review my dears, and have fun with my next chapter, full of characters that belong to someone-not-me! Because I no own them.

* * *

Naruto was vaguely aware he spent more time awake at night than he did during the day. '_Maybe I'll just be like Gaara…can you catch insomnia?_' he wondered. Sasuke squirmed in his arms, pressing their bodies flatter against the heater under the seat.

"Aniki…" the still-out-cold teenager murmured. Naruto sighed. He didn't even sleep anymore, not at all. It was bizarre that he woke himself up as much Sasuke did, especially on this particular road trip. Sasuke never woke anyone else up. '_Then again, I'm the only one who actually has any idea what goes on. And Gaara, but Gaara plots against lizards and is in love with a van._' Sasuke moved violently, and Naruto decided to wake him up before they were jammed into the aluminum side of the van.

"Stop squirming," Naruto chided quietly. He nudged Sasuke with his hip. "You're not the one pushed into the heater. It's spiky." Naruto shook Sasuke gently. "Up now." Sasuke's black eyes drifted open slowly, The dark haired boy shuddered as he woke up.

"Eaurg…" he groaned tiredly as he wriggled out of Naruto's grasp. '_Oh my god…he was awake…_' he shuddered and his face felt hot. '_Must have been the damn heater._' He swallowed and rolled into the middle of the van. He sat up and blinked a few times in the darkness, peering at his watch. Almost seven. "Are you tired?"

"Not really," Naruto answered. "I was awake before you. Ooh! We could head downtown…it's only a little bit. Just across the street there's a coffee kiosk--"

"And a tattoo parlor," Sasuke added.

"We could get a mocha and go see downtown. I don't think Gaara would mind us borrowing Murphy," Naruto finished. "Want to come?"

"Do you have money?"

"Some," Sasuke replied shortly. Naruto looked pleadingly at his friend. "Will you stop looking at me like that if I go along with you?"

"Only then."

"Whatever Loser…"

"Sasuke, so mean," Naruto whined, pouting. "Please come?"

"Whatever," the boy answered distantly. "Let's go." Naruto found the spare keys under Murphy's new yellow flower-shaped floor mat. He scribbled a note on the back of a receipt for Doritos, opened the door and stuck it on the inside, and then leapt back towards Murphy.

The blond boy started the car up slowly and drove out of Deidara's driveway even slower. He debated briefly before heading towards the library. Of course, finding the library meant a map. Naruto wasn't good with maps.

"Where?" he shouted. Sasuke eventually groaned and flipped the map over.

"Loser…all the buses go to Eugene Station, and that's right across the street from the library. Just put the car back, and we can go to the nearest bus stop and get to the library that way." Reluctantly, Naruto returned Murphy to Deidara and Remika's driveway. They trekked to the bus stop just down the street and waited.

The bus eventually showed up. A huge white demon advertising Rainbow Optics, the machine pulled in front of the two boys. Sasuke dug out some change and dropped it in the cash box as they walked it. They took a seat in the far back on a pair of hard navy chairs.

"Do you know where this goes?" Naruto hissed to his friend.

"I just--" he broke off, sighing in annoyance. "It goes to the Eugene Station, which is right next to the library, which is practically in the center of town. I looked on the back of that stupid map!" Sasuke exclaimed in exasperation.

* * *

When they pulled up at the Eugene Station, it was a quarter past eight. They crossed the street to the library. The café in front of the library was swarming with teenagers, most of them dressed in rather outlandish outfits: thirty-six inch magenta Mohawks and lime green fishnets. 

"Wow!" Naruto said brightly. He bounced up to the coffee kiosk. The guy behind the counter, one of the few people dressed normally, smiled good morning. "What's good here?" Naruto asked. The man behind the counter chewed his lip.

"Those," he said finally, pointing to three clear containers of ugly cookies, and saying a name in what sounded like Italian. Naruto wrinkled his nose.

"Those are kind of ugly…" he said. Sasuke snorted from behind him.

"Loser…can't you even read the label? 'Ugly but good'. We'll take six and a mocha." He nodded to the man behind the counter, who smiled knowingly back, and dug out five dollar bills. He handed them over to the man, who in turn scooped out six of the cookies and passed them to Sasuke.

"Have a nice morning," the man called after them. Sasuke snorted and Naruto replied with an equally enthusiastic 'you too'. The two of them found a table by the windows facing the huge concrete water-pit. Sasuke sipped at his mocha in silence.

"Can I have some of that?" Naruto asked, eyeing the coffee. Sasuke stared at him blankly.

"Give you coffee?" he asked as if Naruto had just demanded a lock of his hair. "That's the last-- why are you giving me that look?" His eyes fixed on Naruto, who had pushed out his bottom lip cutely. Sasuke cringed. "Fine Loser." The dark haired boy pushed the glass towards his friend.

"Don't call me that bastard," Naruto snapped back. He took Sasuke's mocha and sipped it. He pushed it back across the metal table and grinned. "Thanks Sasuke," he added in a squeak.

Sasuke stared. He was staring so intently at his friend's lips. Aforementioned lips were covered in mocha-flavored foam, and they were moving as Naruto talked. '_Oh my god…_' Sasuke thought. He stopped and then shook his head vigorously. '_Oh my _god_…how am I thinking that? Stupid thoughts, go away!_'

"Let's go! Deidara said there was a really cool place to get stuff! Greater Goods…we have to go there!" Naruto leapt up and down. "Come on! Finish your coffee!" Sasuke groaned inwardly. '_I knew coffee was a bad idea,_' he whined.

The two boys started walking West on W. 11 street. Right on Charnelton, Left on Broadway, Left on High. It was less than a mile, more like eighty percent, and they were there in fifteen minutes. Naruto, upon seeing the store, bounced happily in. As soon as he crossed the threshold, all effects of coffee disappeared.

"Wow…" he breathed in awe. Greater Goods was filled with all sorts of items: bells from India, 'code pink' feminist shirts, African wood carvings and Chinese wind chimes. Naruto vaguely thought the bright pink 'Women Say 'No', 'Niet', 'iie', 'nien' to war' shirt would suit Temari. '_She will be so mad if I tell her about it and not get it for her._' He dug around in his pockets until he found enough money to buy it. When he located Temari's size, he happily rested it over his elbow and bounced off.

Sasuke was very interested in some of the sculptures. Most of them were from Africa, though there were a few from what looked like Polynesia. He picked up and examined a carving of a fox and turned it over in his hands a couple of times.

"Like what you see?" a high pitched voice asked him from behind. '_Not another creepy stalker girl!_' he thought in annoyance. He spun around, about to reply shortly to the person, when he came face-to-face with a very, very feminine girl. "I get that look a lot," laughed the girl.

"What look?" Sasuke asked defensively. The girl smiled and fiddled with a tendril of hair.

"The 'are-you-a-guy-or-a-girl' look. I'm a guy."

"Oh…" Sasuke looked down at the floor. "Sorry about that."

"Oh, it's okay. I'm Haku."

"Sasuke," Sasuke replied. Haku stuck out his hand and Sasuke shook it shyly, still embarrassed for mistaking Haku for a girl. '_He's dressed pretty girly,_' the raven reasoned with himself, trying to calm his raging blush. '_And he says he gets it a lot._' "I can tell by your accent you're visiting. Where do you come from?" Haku asked.

"Ventura, California," Sasuke answered promptly. "Road Trip." Haku smiled, exposing perfectly round teeth.

"Oh, I've been down there. It's nice, especially in the summer. I went swimming in the ocean with my boyfriend. People down there were a little bit mean when they saw us though," Haku added. "It's a little bit depressing, you know? Having people hate you because--"

"They're homophobic and stupid. Not all of them, but some of them." Sasuke felt a twinge of pity for the boy working as a cashier at a small store in Eugene. "What about here?" His inquiry was met with a laugh.

"Here? Oh my goodness though. Everyone is so very accepting here," Haku replied. "At the Eugene Day celebration, there's almost a whole block of GLBT stalls. Lesbian choir, the town-wide GSA…if you're here when it's going on, you and your boyfriend should stop by." Haku turned his eyes on the blond boy who was playing with a drum from the Caribbean.

Sasuke blushed darkly. "He's not my boyfriend," he squeaked.

"For now anyway. Hey, have you guys had lunch yet?"

"No…" Sasuke muttered. He was _very_ uncomfortable.

"Then you should have lunch with me and my boyfriend Zabuza. Where are you staying?"

"Over on Iwa street with one of my friend's friends," Sasuke answered. Naruto had figured out the notes on the drum with the help of a diagram and was slowly but happily tapping out the theme song of mission impossible.

"Okay, cool. So, are you coming?"

"Sure, where we headed?"

"There's this adorable diner on Chambers, Jamie's. It's nice. My lunch break is in," Haku checked his watch, "three minutes. Let me call Zabu and we'll be out of here, okay?" Haku swayed off towards the ivory phone in the corner and Sasuke went to collect Naruto.

* * *

'Zabu', as Haku most adoringly called him, was a tall, sturdily built man. When he drove up in a battered pick-up truck, he looked scary. When he drove up wearing a white handkerchief across his face and carrying a knife, he looked positively terrifying. 

"Hey Haku," he muttered through the handkerchief. He dropped the knife on the seat and ran to hug the effeminate teenager in question, taking off the handkerchief and kissing the top of the obviously younger boy's head.

"Zabu! These are my friends, and we're going to lunch with them!" Haku exclaimed. "Mostly because they haven't even tasted good food." Sasuke was amazed at how someone so small could order people around so much. Zabuza gave his boyfriend a look.

"I thought we went over this…"

"But he's so cute!" Haku argued, taking hold of Naruto's shoulders. Naruto looked up at being called cute before he went back to examining the zipper on his orange jacket. Zabuza shook his head in annoyance.

"Ah, all I do for you Haku," he muttered. "In. Ignore knives." Zabuza practically floored the gas before Sasuke was even halfway through the door. '_Wow…he's like Gaara._'

They arrived at Jamie's, which fit the term 'pseudo-fifties diner' to a T. Naruto sat down opposite Haku, who was smiling and talking about all the different places to go in Eugene. Mostly places to eat, but there were some mentions of stores too.

"You have to go to Star Gate," he said, "and the Public Library. The Public Library is amazing." They ordered, and Naruto and Haku downed three pepsis in the time it took Sasuke and Zabuza to finish one.

While Haku and Naruto seemed to be getting along quite well, Zabuza and Sasuke were getting along in a different way. Since neither of them talked very much, they found a common ground in silence. They remained silent while Haku ate a chicken salad and Naruto downed a cheese burger.

* * *

Naruto shouted good bye and thanks when the two boys dropped them off. Haku and the blond headed boy had exchanged emails and phone numbers, promising to stay in touch and visit if Naruto and Sasuke ever went back to Eugene. Sasuke waved lethargically goodbye before following his blond friend up the stairs to the front door. They walked inside, kicked off their shoes, and leaned against the doorframe. "That was fun," Naruto said. Sasuke merely shrugged and went upstairs. 

Naruto was greeted by Temari, who adored her new shirt and immediately changed in front of Naruto into it. Naruto didn't even blush. Temari did though. "I'm so sorry," she said, her face turning red. Then she ran off to find Shikamaru and show off a _very_ flattering piece of clothing.

Sasuke was greeted by Gaara. A very angry Gaara.

"You moved the keys," he said drolly. "Now I kill you."

* * *

****

Yay! Fun! Oh my god, I love Jamie's. It's near my school, and some of our English class went there for turning in like, a bazillion book reports. Read and Review lovelies. I slaved over it here, and I STILL can't capture beloved Eugene. And don't stalk me or anything, cuz that's bad. Alright, I said it, I feel better now.


	6. Day 6: Oregon

**Another chapter down. So...erm, I don't own anyone except Murphy (and Officer Grace Macdonald). Hell, I don't even own Remika, who belongs to Lt. Commander Richie. Thanks to Sarge (FastForward, whose stuff you should totally read) and Lt. Commander Richie (whose stuff you should totally read).**

**Have fun my lovlies, and don't forget to review.**

* * *

Sasuke and Naruto sat at the top of the stairs, listening intently to Deidara, Gaara and Remika's conversation. Granted it was really a one-sided conversation, seeing as Remika was totally mute, but since Gaara couldn't understand sign language, Deidara was repeating whatever Remika signed.

"Are you ever going to tell him?" Gaara asked darkly.

"Tell him what un? That I knew his brother? That I _dated_ his brother un?" There was a loud slap. "You know that was ages ago un…" Deidara said, trailing off. Sasuke could only imagine him rubbing his cheek and a very angry Remika. '_Who are they talking about?_' Sasuke wondered. It was almost three in the morning by that time.

"Before or after he killed them?" Gaara asked. His tone was sharp.

Deidara stuttered. In Naruto's mind's eye, he could see the blond man gasping for breath as he searched for the right words. "After," he whispered finally. "He was seventeen. I was sixteen." Someone, Naruto could only assume it was Remika by the way she flopped so daintily onto the couch, threw a pillow at the far wall.

"Mommy said a bad word!" a high pitched voice proclaimed. "And another bad word…and another bad word…"

"I think it's time you went to bed," Deidara muttered. Thirty seconds later, a very flushed five year old pushed past Sasuke and Naruto on her way up the stairs. Naruto snickered to himself, imagining a very angry Remika. '_Scary,_' he muttered to himself.

"So what now? You going to tell him what you know? That he went insane, took his own life last year twenty minutes before the cops found his body?" Gaara's grinding voice flitted up the stairs. "Or maybe you're just going to tell Sasuke that his big ambition, to see his brother brought to justice, was crushed in May. Because Itachi killed himself. You won't even have to tell him how." Sasuke's charcoal eyes got big.

Then he started crying.

Naruto, who was sitting next to him, panicked. '_What the hell am I supposed to do?_' the blond boy wondered frantically. Sasuke _never_ cried. At least, he never had before. He had always been so stony, and here he was, doing just that for the second time in a week. On the stairs no less, after finding out his brother was dead. '_You'd think that would make him happy._'

"What's wrong?" Naruto whispered. "Why aren't you happy? He's dead." Sasuke hung his head, tears that turned amber in the dim light of Deidara's stairwell dripping onto the oak steps like dew that had grown heavy with the morning. He wasn't sobbing, and he didn't seem to be reacting to the tears that fell over his unnaturally pale face. It was like he didn't even know they were there.

"I just wanted them to catch him. I wanted to see him get what he deserved. Now I find out that he killed himself. That means he eluded righteousness. Justice really is blind. Blind enough for Itachi to escape." The dark haired boy leaned his head against the landing two steps above.

"I'm sorry," Naruto whispered. "I understand--"

"You don't understand jack," Sasuke hissed. "Back when I was a little kid, maybe three years old, I used to look up to my brother. He used to love me, or at least, he pretended to. He used to convince my dad to play with me, to acknowledge my presence. I don't remember very well, just snapshots of it, but I remember he used to hug me before he sent me off to daycare and would make ice cream for me after he got home from work. Then one day…then he just stopped. He hit me a couple of times and left. It was the same every day after that. I eventually stopped running to meet him, I stopped smiling and secretly hoping for ice cream, that we could be friends. I was four years old, Naruto, four years old. I just shut up and took it." He bit down on his lip hard enough to draw blood.

"I'm sorry," Naruto whispered.

"I don't want your pity," Sasuke snapped back. He stared at the ceiling, his face streaked with wet tears. "Just shut up." Naruto grimaced. '_He's never going to open up, is he? Dumb Uchiha, doesn't know what's good for him,_' the fair haired boy though bitterly.

"No, you shut up," he said quietly, though his voice gained momentum. "You shut up, and you tell me what's wrong with you." Naruto pivoted and caught his friend by the shoulders, holding him against the steps. Sasuke shook silently but refused to talk. "What's wrong?" Naruto repeated.

"I'm screwed up, that's what's wrong with me. You should find a new best friend, one who isn't this twisted and broken. I'm fucked up." He glared a hole through the stairs. Naruto shook his head at the boy he had pinned to the steps.

"Don't say that! You're not that messed up. You're a great person--"

"I don't want to hear it. Shut up."

"But--" Naruto started. Sasuke wriggled out of the other boy's grasp and trotted down the hall towards the attic they were now staying in, after Shikamaru and Temari decided to sleep in Murphy. Climbing down the stairs for breakfast was just too troublesome. Naruto scurried after the other boy, beating him back to the door. "Stop being such a bastard. You're crying, you never cry unless you have the Orochimaru dream. What about that dream makes you flip out?"

Sasuke pushed past Naruto and collapsed on the bed. "The fact that it's true." He squeezed his eyes tightly shut. "Please Naruto…please don't ask me any more tonight. Ask tomorrow." He burrowed under the covers. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Good night Sasuke."

* * *

They left the next morning. Remika, mute as she was, had bid them farewell in the form of sandwiches. She had also given them one of her paintings as a 'present to Murphy'. This annoyed Deidara to no end. The blond man had slipped Gaara some dynamite and rat poison just to make himself feel better.

"Remember un--"

"Are you trying to kill Lee again?" Temari demanded. "I thought we went over this! NO MORE TRYING TO KILL THE LIZARD! That is unacceptable!" she screeched. Gaara looked at her fiercely.

"But--"

"We only need to get to Gatlinburg, and then we can drop it off at Kakashi's. Then you never have to see that creature again. For now, however, you are going to have to deal with it." Gaara just glared at his sister, who ignored him and stomped off to Murphy. Gaara followed, mortified by the idea of letting his sister _touch_ the car without his watching.

Naruto had packed up most of his stuff up in a matter of minutes. He had gotten a hold of his beloved ramen bowl after rescuing it from Remika's torturous dishwasher. Shikamaru had had to remind the blond boy to say thank you to Deidara for the place to stay four times before he actually did so, and Temari had had to remind him an additional three times to say thank you to Remika for the ramen. When he finally got all his thank yous straight, the blond headed boy skipped down to where Murphy was and leaned against the Hippie-From-Hell.

Gaara polished the car. Deidara had wax and car polish, so Gaara was really enjoying getting the perpetual matte look off Murphy. It wasn't like he had much else to do, and the wax would dry as they drove. He enlisted Kiba's help, with the condition that Kiba could pump the gas when they filled up the next time. Gaara, who hated pumping gas, agreed.

Sasuke was the last to go downstairs. When he did walk down the steps he and Naruto had sat on the night prior, he caught Deidara by the arm and pulled him aside to speak with him.

"I heard you and Gaara talking last night," he breathed. "Was it true?"

"What parts?"

"About my brother."

"Every word," Deidara answered, looking slightly mortified.

"Sixteen and seventeen huh?" Sasuke turned. The blond man caught him by the arm though and turned him around slowly.

"He got what he deserved Sasuke."

"Is that because he ripped out your heart and stomped it into the dirt?" the raven retorted. He walked away again, leaving Deidara alone in the hallway, staring after him. Deidara cast his one exposed eye, the other covered by a chunk of gold hair, to the floor and traced the patterns in the wood.

"Yes," he whispered, even though Sasuke was out of earshot. "That and what he did to you."

* * *

"I really don't want to be stuck here over night," Kiba said loudly. They had stopped for gas at a 7/11 station in some small, insignificant town roughly an hour out of Eugene. Shikamaru, who was sitting on a nearby bench reading a newspaper, nodded as if to signify that he had heard the boy. Temari was chatting with the clerk, much to Shikamaru's chagrin. Naruto was pawing through the candy, looking for some kind of chocolate bar that he couldn't seem to locate among the masses. Gaara and Sasuke were sitting on the sidewalk, ignoring everyone around them. At least, Sasuke was. Gaara was continually watching Kiba's 'Murphy Conduct'. '_If he messes up my car, I am going to mess up his face._' Long, long ago, Gaara had given up calling Murphy Shikamaru's car.

"Excuse me, do you work here?" asked a police officer. She was tall, had curly copper hair, and spoke with a lilting French accent. Kiba's head shot up in alarm.

"No…" he answered unsurely. The police officer's eyebrows rose.

"Is this your car?" she asked.

"No…" Kiba replied again, looking even more unsure and even more freaked out.

"Are you aware of the law in Oregon regarding pumping gas?" she asked. Kiba shook his head back and forth.

"No…" he answered a third time.

The police officer narrowed her eyes, as if in annoyance at Kiba's ignorance. She pointed a spindly finger towards Murphy. "It is illegal to pump your own gas within the state of Oregon. I'm going to have to fine you for this infraction."

"No way!" Kiba shouted. The officer looked sternly at the teenager.

"Can you please walk towards the cruiser sir?"

"I didn't know! No way are you going to fine me! I just pumped gas!"

"Sir, please step towards the cruiser and put your hands on your head sir," the officer ordered. Kiba ignored her and got into Murphy. With a few fluid motions, he turned the keys and floored the gas of the van.

There was a resounding crash. Actually, it was no more than a little fender bender, but to Gaara it was a resounding crash. Gaara leapt to his feet, pea-green eyes bulging in a mixture of anger, fear and rage. The police officer was staring at her cruiser, Gaara was staring at Kiba, Sasuke was staring at Gaara Naruto was staring at the whole scene, and within minutes, Kiba was staring at the back of a police cruiser.

* * *

When Kiba was dragged downtown, the police officer, whose name was Officer Grace Macdonald, bored holes into the back of Kiba's head. She, like Gaara, was very attached to her car, and this new development angered her very much. '_I hope that little punk learns a lesson._'

"You have one phone call," she said. "Make it count." She turned and walked away to lean against the doorframe. Kiba eyed the phone. He picked it up, dialed the necessary numbers to get to an outside line, and dialed Temari's cell phone. It rang twice before Shikamaru picked up.

"Hello?" he asked. There was scuffling in the background and a shout of 'who is it?'. "It's Kiba!" Shikamaru called at the person who asked. It had sounded like Naruto. Kiba heard a button pushed and all the scuffling become clearer.

"Can you guys bail me out?" Kiba asked meekly. He heard Gaara growl.

"After what you did to Murphy? Oh no. You can just rot in jail, with the crappy food and the roommate named Bubba," Gaara hissed. '_Great,_' Kiba thought, '_now I'm on speaker phone._' There was a 'come on Gaara' in the background, out of range of Tamari's cell.

"Gaara, we can't leave him, that's irresponsible'. It was Shikamaru's voice. '_See, someone cares,_' Kiba though happily. "Besides," Shikamaru continued, "it would be too troublesome to come back for him later."

"Are you guys coming or not?" Kiba asked after a couple of minutes while his friends argued amongst themselves. He heard Sasuke sigh. It was a Sasuke sigh.

"Yes Kiba, we'll bail you out," he said stoically. "We figure Gaara will do more damage than 'Bubba' ever could, and you deserve damage. See you in a few. Bye." Sasuke hung up the phone. Kiba put the receiver back on the hook. Grace MacDonald motioned for him to follow to the holding cells.

"Stay here until you get bailed out," she ordered. As she was leaving, she pivoted and put her face very close to Kiba's. "That was my _car_." It was at that moment that Kiba realized how terrifying Gaara would be. It was at that moment that Kiba wished he had called his mother.

* * *

**I am so glad I'm not Kiba. R 'n' R dears.**


	7. Day 7: Idaho

**I don't own them.**

****

Lots of bonding, lots of angst-ish-past-recounting, lots of Kiba. There's enough rehashing the miserable-ness of the past to last a lifetime…and there will inevitably be more tomorrow. Also, some undickafying of Sasuke at a few suggestions. Actually, both of these mentions were made by people named Caitlin…so Sasuke has a non-nightmare dream. The creature in it's name is officially Caitlin, even though I never say it. It evolved so much...originally it was a loud obnoxious teenage girl, and it turned out more like Kayako from 'Ju-on: the Grudge'.

There's Gaara and Naruto bonding, Gaara and Temari bonding, and Naruto and Sasuke bonding. So much bonding, you'd think we'd run out of glue.

Just ignore the lame attempt at humor.

* * *

"Never again Inuzuka. Never, ever, ever." Temari sat in the center of Murphy, glaring at Kiba, shouting threats. "If you ever get arrested like that again, I'll castrate you with a wrench." The scary part of that was, Kiba believed her.

"Not Murphy's wrench," Gaara said helplessly.

Temari turned blazing eyes on her brother. "It doesn't matter whose wrench it is Gaara. It's just a wrench. If the situation calls for it, I'm going to use it." She turned her eyes back on Kiba. "Understood?" Back to Gaara. "Understood? Good. Next time Gaara, don't beat Kiba like that and leave me to clean it up."

'_At least someone cares,_' though Kiba.

"Next time, Gaara, you're cleaning up the blood."

* * *

After bailing Kiba out, they had driven over the border to Idaho. They were going to stop in Boise, but after Naruto decided that he should use Map Quest for directions, they were nowhere near Boise. In fact, they were in Idaho City. 

"No! I am not driving Murphy any further! We've gone far enough, and after Dog-Boy here rammed him into that cruiser, Murphy is at risk. We can drive tomorrow once we've made sure all the parts are okay. So we are going to stay here, reservations or not." He shot everyone who dared oppose a death glare.

"What about us? Don't I count above the van?" demanded Kiba.

"No."

"Temari?"

"No."

"Sasuke?"

"HELL no."

"Naruto?"

Gaara paused a moment. "He ranks slightly less than Murphy, maybe at the same level, but he does come before everyone else for sure. Before me, certainly. I'd give up my blanket for him if he didn't have one. I am not, however, going to drive an extra hour to Boise so everyone who is not Naruto can have a comfy bed. Here, how about you sacrifice your blanket so he can have another one! Didn't think so."

"Your logic frightens me," Kiba muttered.

"Genius usually does," Shikamaru said offhandedly. "Where are we going to stay?"

"Shikamaru, it's a town of seven hundred, and less than that in the off season. We can just park on the street and sleep in Murphy," Gaara explained. Kiba narrowed his eyes.

"What if someone crashes into Murphy?" Kiba asked with an air of mock suspicion.

"Town of seven hundred Kiba, town of seven hundred."

"Hour drive Gaara, hour drive."

"Wrench Kiba. Wrench."

Kiba promptly _shut his trap.

* * *

_

Kiba just stared. He stared and stared and stared.

"No way in hell! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME SLEEP HERE!" he shrieked.

"We can make you sleep outside Murphy. By yourself. In the cold," Temari said, snapping her electric pink bubblegum. "You want to test us? Scaring the living daylights out of you is probably easier than using a wrench to rip off your--"

"Enough details Temari," Sasuke chided. "Threatening to do that is a little like threatening to--"

"Enough details Sasuke," Temari interrupted. She popped a neon bubble with her mouth. Shikamaru watched in fascination as she popped another bubble, and another bubble. Dirty thoughts. Dirty, dirty bubble thoughts.

Naruto looked around. "Why are we parked here?" he asked Gaara.

"Because," Gaara said. "Lots of room, no one is coming through, and being parked in a graveyard probably illegal." The red-head's companions shot him a questioning look. "We shove Kiba out, blame him, and we've gotten rid of him." Temari stared.

"First it's the van, then it's the lizard, now it's Kiba. When will these unhealthy obsessions _stop_? Dad always said you were fucking twisted!" she shouted, suddenly angry. '_Well,_' Shikamaru thought, '_we're on this road trip a full month. Her cycle was bound to go through this at some point._'

"Oh well you would know! You were such a great sister, weren't you?" Gaara demanded, eyes narrowing. Temari just glared ferociously at him, her eyes glimmering sadistically, her lips drawn into a right thin line.

"At least I wasn't the reason mom died."

Gaara was out of the car faster than Naruto could have imagined. He leapt out, slammed the door, and disappeared into the night. Temari's hard face morphed into a look of mortification. She covered her face with her hands. Naruto stared at the door. He moved slowly forward and opened the door. He slid into the darkness, his feet hitting the ground with a soft 'thud'. He listened carefully, finally catching the faint sound of Gaara's footsteps.

"Gaara?" Naruto called into the dark as he tripped over a headstone. He heard footsteps pad over and help him up. "Are you alright?" He put a hand to Gaara's head to see if he was shaking it yes or no. He was shaking it no. '_I wouldn't blame him,_' Naruto though, anger towards Temari bubbling in the pit of his stomach.

That was another taboo subject. Like Sasuke's past or Naruto's vendetta against drunk driving, Gaara's mother was another topic you never discussed. The reason for this was fairly simple. Gaara had been born with a rare blood condition. His mother had been compatible for a blood transfusion, but she hadn't survived the process. Gaara's brother Kankuro had eventually gotten over tormenting his little brother for this but when Gaara was younger, Temari was usually the one who held him while he sniffled, convinced his brother was right and he had 'really killed mommy'. Now, Kankuro just hated his father for volunteering his mother for the procedure.

"She didn't mean it Gaara," Naruto whispered. His fingertips trailed over Gaara's face, trying to determine if his friend was crying. "She was just mad. You're not twisted and it's not your fault." Naruto wrapped his arms gently around Gaara's waist.

"I know," Gaara hissed back. "But…" he trailed off, slipping out of Naruto's grasp and sitting on the frigid ground next to a marble gravestone that reflected the light of the moon quite eerily. Naruto sat beside him and Gaara leaned forward, resting his forehead on the blond boy's shoulder. "I'm really messed up. I mean, I love a car more than my sister."

"It's okay, a lot of people get attached to their cars," Naruto assured the other boy. Gaara shook his head somberly.

"Not like this. I mean, I practically love it to the exclusion of all else."

"You know, ever since you were a little kid, you were never a people person. You always like objects better. That's fine." Naruto pet Gaara's unruly red hair down. "Remember when we used to make sand castles when we went to the beach?"

"Yeah," Gaara said sadly.

"You used to yell at the ocean when it swept them away. You named every castle. Your favorite was Sunakagure, right?"

"I remember that one. It was the greatest one I ever made. Temari got a picture I think, but it just isn't the same." Gaara laughed mirthlessly. "I guess you were right. I always liked objects better than people. Except you."

"Why me?" Naruto asked, perplexed.

"You were always there for me. No one was ever really there for me for the really miserable years when I was six or seven. I mean, Temari could only do so much. Between Kankuro before he got nicer and my dad, I needed someone more than an overworked, underappreciated, Kurosawa-watching fifth-grade mother."

"You were there for me too you know. I mean, after my mother died, I needed a friend. You were that friend."

Gaara laughed. "Then Sasuke-bastard took that job, didn't he?"

"No," Naruto said airily. "You'll always be my first best friend. Sasuke's never going to be my first best friend." He put an arm around Gaara's shoulder and pulled him into a rather messy hug. Gaara returned aforementioned hug shakily and unsurely. "Ready to go back now?" Naruto asked. In the darkness, Gaara nodded.

"Yeah. When I die, Murphy will be at the end of the tunnel. Look there, I see the light." Gaara picked his way over crumbling headstones and found his way back to Murphy. He opened the side door cautiously and slipped inside, head down.

The first words out of Temari's words were an apology. "I'm so sorry Gaara," she whispered. She practically tackled him to the floor of the van and held him below her, resting her head on his chest. "I'm so sorry. I'm just like dad." Gaara stared at her, rubbing the back of her neck gently.

"It's okay Temari. You're not like dad at all," he assured his sister. "You aren't like dad at all." He wrapped his arms around her neck and held her tightly. Warm tears soaked through his shirt. "Don't cry Mari." She lifted her head and Gaara wiped away the salty tears that had collected on her cheekbones.

"I didn't mean to say it," she breathed.

"It's okay. We'll sleep now. Tomorrow, it'll be better." Gaara rolled over to dig a blanket out from under one of the seats and threw it over himself and Temari. "Let's sleep you guys. We have a long drive ahead of us to Billings tomorrow. I'll see you all in the morning." He leaned against his sister and the two of them fell asleep under the scratchy wool blanket.

"Kiba…" Shikamaru said with slight distaste.

"I am not sharing a blanket with you. I don't share with anyone. I have my dignity."

"You mean you had your dignity. Between Gaara and Temari, you've been stripped of what little you had left," Shikamaru pointed out. Kiba eyed the blanket suspiciously before turning his gaze on Shikamaru.

"You're right. I have no dignity. To the snuggle hut."

* * *

_XxxX Sasuke Asleep XxxX _

Sasuke stared out the window of Murphy. The car was driving itself down a totally empty highway. 'Wait, where is Orochimaru, and more importantly, why isn't he pinning me down and--_' the dark haired boy's thoughts were thoroughly interrupted by a slight couching noise. At least, it sounded a little like coughing. _

"Hello?" Sasuke called. From the back seat, her heard some scuffling. He peered over the partition and came face to face with a white-faced creature_. "Hello?" he repeated. The creature smiled. It looked humanoid, only with long black hair and unnaturally pasty skin. It had dark circles under its eyes and sharp, white teeth that protruded over its black lips. She was dressed in a white magician costume. _

"Hello," it echoed. Sasuke blinked.

"What are you doing in the back of Murphy?" he asked the creature. Creature shrugged and made a low, throaty growling noise. She pointed to the hangman board. Below the hang tree was written 'Sasuke's most precious person'_. _

Creature leaned forward and plucked a pen from behind Sasuke's right ear. Suddenly Sasuke found himself outside Murphy, in the pitch black, the only light coming from small tea candles surrounding him and Creature. When Sasuke looked around, he realized he was in the graveyard Murphy had been parked in.

The sun rose. Instead of being the size of a dime, it looked more like the size of a silver dollar. Sasuke turned to look over where Creature was pointing. He followed her finger with his gaze, and he saw she was gesturing at a gnarled looking tree. 'The hang tree,_' he whispered to himself. He wasn't sure how he knew this, or why this seemed to scare him. _

Creature made a groaning sound and pointed again at the hang tree. 'She wants me to play with her, doesn't she?_' he though, not even paying attention 'it' became a she. He shivered. '_What will happen if I were to miss a letter?_' _

Creature drew out the lines in the dirt in front of the hang tree, which cut itself out of the bright orange sky. Below it, in spindly handwriting, Creature wrote 'Sasuke's most precious person_'. Sasuke blinked. He remembered Orochimaru, but for the life of him…he couldn't remember his best friend's name. He couldn't remember a face, only gold hair and bright blue eyes. He remembered this friend of his holding him when he was miserable, of this friend stopping him from hurting himself, of getting mad when Sasuke said he was worthless. But he couldn't remember the name. _

"Is there an E?" Sasuke asked cautiously. Creature drew an 'E' below the lines in the dirt. Sasuke cast his eyes up to the hang tree. Swinging from the rope was the head of the fair-haired teenager. Sasuke felt a twinge of panic. He wasn't sure if this was because the boy was so familiar and yet Sasuke couldn't place his face, or whether it was because he care_ about this boy. '_There's only one way to solve this,_' Sasuke whispered to himself. _

"Is there a T?" he asked.

Creature drew a 'T' on the fifth line.

"Is there an 'A'?"

Creature drew an 'A' on the second line.

"Is there an 'O'?" Sasuke asked.

Creature drew an 'O' on the last line.

"An 'I'?" Sasuke asked tensely.

Creature drew an 'I' below the lines. Sasuke had gone through the five most common letters in the English language, and all he had come up with was '-A--TO_' The boy hanging on the hang tree gained a body. His eyes looked panicked, moving from side to side, but his body stayed still except for a gentle breeze that blew the rope in circles. _

"An 'N'?" Sasuke asked, swallowing thickly. 'N is the next most common. Just work your way down Uchiha, just work your way down._' He had had a particularly strict second grade teacher He eyed the boy in the hang tree. The boy stared back with imploring eyes. _

Creature drew an N on the first line.

"Is it an 'S'?"

Creature wrote the 'S' below the line and the boy on the hang tree gained an arm.

"Is it 'R'?"

Creature wrote 'R' on the third line.

"NAR-TO…" Sasuke muttered. "Um…U?" It was the next most common vowel, or rather, the only one left in the alphabet.

Creature smiled weakly as she filled in the last line. She flew forward and cut down the boy from the hang tree. He fell down in a jumble of rapidly appearing parts before disappearing into the ground like ice in a flaming frying pan. Sasuke felt the world spin around, and the orange sun sank back below the horizon, as if it were in reverse.

_XxxX Sasuke Wake Up XxxX

* * *

_

Sasuke woke in a cold sweat. '_Oh my god…what was that all about? Naruto? Why couldn't I remember his name?_' Sasuke took a deep breath and slid out from under the covers. It was the first time in years he hadn't woken screaming in terror. He slipped out of the window in the roof onto the top of the van.

"Not tired, huh?" Naruto asked. Sasuke nearly fell off the top of the van. Naruto was sitting just behind the window on the roof. "Me neither." He crawled slowly towards Sasuke and sagged against him, shivering from the cold and struggling to keep his eyes from slowly falling shut.

"You must be freezing."

"Not cold," Naruto replied obstinately.

"Your lips are turning blue," Sasuke argued. He briefly wondered why he even noticed the other boy's lips. Naruto sighed and shivered again. Sasuke was about to make a snide remark but bit his tongue against it. "You sure you don't want a jacket?" Naruto shrugged.

"I'll be fine. I've seen colder." He tugged the light sweater around his shoulders and snuggled into it. Sasuke sighed at his stubborn friend. He shut his eyes, but Creature's haunting eyes wouldn't leave him be.

"No reason to be cold now," Sasuke breathed. He couldn't _handle_ the aftermath of the stupid dream. '_It's just like the other dreams,_' he realized slowly, '_I just didn't know it. Just because I didn't wake up screaming…_' He shut his eyes and leaned back onto the roof.

"Did you dream?" Naruto asked quietly, lying on his stomach beside his friend. "Was it really bad?" Sasuke bit his lip.

"Yeah. The worst."

"Are you finally going to tell me what the Orochimaru dream was about?" Naruto asked softly, pressed his body next to Sasuke's for heat. '_I knew he was cold,_' the stoic boy laughed humorlessly to himself. '_He's just too stubborn to admit it._'

"It wasn't the Orochimaru dream," he said quietly. "It was worse though." Naruto's eyebrows shot up.

"Will you tell me about it?" he asked. "Forget it. You never tell me what you dream about."

"I'll tell you," Sasuke muttered. "Well…not this one."

"Too personal ne?" Naruto said with a wry smile.

"Yeah."

"So, you going to tell me about the other ones?" Naruto asked. "We should probably go sit on the ground." The blond boy leapt down the rungs. Sasuke followed unsurely into the darkness. He felt his feet connect with the ground and a slender hand slip into his. "You don't want to trip, now do you?"

"No," Sasuke said quietly. He could tell a blush was rising in his cheeks, and he was thankful for the moon being so weak. He never blushed before. He never had reason to blush, especially around Naruto. His best friend. His best _guy_ friend. Maybe it was just how softly Naruto was holding his hand, leading him a few feet away from the van and tugging him down to sit on the ground near an eerie grave stone.

"So you going to tell me now?" Naruto asked. Sasuke's eyes unfocused.

"Yeah…I guess I have to now, huh?" Sasuke said with a humorless laugh.

"Yup."

"I dream about what Orochimaru did to me…what he does to me. When he decides he doesn't want any more beer, and he goes after me…" Sasuke trailed off. He squeezed his dark eyes shut, feeling instantly sick to his stomach. "I…never wanted any of it. Not that anyone would. It wasn't that I wasn't interested in anyone in school, even though I never asked anyone out. Remember the stupid dance we had last year? The stupid Spring Fling or whatever they called it. He wouldn't let me go with anyone because he didn't want anyone else to touch me. He's the only person who'll ever touch me like that, ever."

Naruto blanched. "I'm sorry. You didn't need to tell me."

"But I did."

"I'm really sorry I asked. Not because I think any less of you, just…I had no idea…I'm so sorry." Naruto looked mortified. He stared at his best friend through the weak light, searching his normally emotionless face for feeling. Indeed, Sasuke's face looked younger and his eyebrows tilted down. His eyes looked on the verge of tearing up, but Sasuke wasn't there yet.

"I'll just go back, okay?" Sasuke stood. Naruto stood as well, brushing his shoe against the headstone, dusting the Idaho dust from his jeans. He threw both arms around Sasuke's neck and held him tightly, fiercely, as if by some off chance he could drive away whatever nightmares his friend faced. Sasuke stiffened.

"I won't hurt you, I swear." Sasuke nodded and relaxed slightly in his friend's embrace. "I'll walk with you," he breathed, slipping his hand into Sasuke's. "Come on." The two boys walked back towards Murphy. Sasuke clutched his friend's hand, squeezing it tightly between his frozen fingers.

They slid open the door. Gaara eyed them before glancing back down at 'The Da Vinci Code'. Naruto picked up a giant fuchsia comforter and spread it out next to the seat. He stretched out on it before wrapping himself up partially in it. Suddenly he cast his eyes up at Sasuke guiltily.

"You're going to freeze to death," Naruto reprimanded. He got up and pointed to the pink comforter. "You need it more than I do. You couldn't even survive a couple minutes outside without a jacket.

"I don't see," Sasuke paused and swallowed, "why we can't share. I mean, just a blanket." He stretched out on the blanket. Naruto cocked his head and lay down beside his friend. The blond boy snuggled into the duvet and giggled. Then he grabbed one corner and rolled himself up ala burrito. He pressed himself close to Sasuke and grinned as his face hovered over his friend's.

"You're right. Way warmer. Am I crushing you?" he asked.

"No." Sasuke squeaked. '_I hope I'm not coming down with a fever. You get hot flashes for a fever, right? Right?_'

* * *

**Oh my gosh...this is averaging six and two thirds a review a chapter, and a new chapter is posted every day...I feel loved.**


	8. Day 8: Montana

During her latest attempt to come up with a witty disclaimer, the author inadvertently fell off a rocket. Oh dear. She will, however, be revived by reviews from her readers, who she loves. So…loves to you. Ooh…and she has decided to try and get some form of odd NejiGaara pairing in there. Yes? No? Maybe? 'I-cut-off-your-head-with-a-pitch-fork?' Come on…Gaara deserves the love. (And yes, Neji did already appear, but if he needs to show up again, I can make him show up again, and make it make sense! I hopes…)

****

She doesn't own Naruto…Or Swaziland.

* * *

"Oh my god…" Gaara's voice was so horribly even, it was disturbing. Seconds later, he slammed his foot on the break and the car screeched to a halt. "Oh my god." He pulled over abruptly and slammed the door open. Naruto swore he could hear paint chipping. 

"What?" Naruto asked as he opened one eye. It was very early in the morning, early enough for Sasuke to still be asleep. "What's going on Gaara?" he asked, gently untangling himself from Sasuke. Gaara was sitting on a rock, staring out at what Naruto could only assume was now Montana, if Gaara had been driving all night. By the indentations on his seat, he had been. Naruto came up behind his friend and sat next to him on an adjacent rock.

"I saw her."

"What did you see?" Naruto asked. '_Is Gaara losing his mind?_' the blond boy wondered wordlessly to himself.

"My mom. She said I needed to help people," Gaara replied softly. Naruto wrinkled his nose.

"Help people?" he asked. Gaara nodded, his eyes not moving from the far spot on horizon he had locked his gaze on, his unyielding attention cast on that one line that ran through the place where earth and sky met.

"Yeah. Help people. I think this trip might be a calling for me to help people." Gaara stared out at Montana. Montana was flat and low, holding its own just below the bright blue sky. The power lines in the distance were dark against such a light background. "I feel like I should be helping people right now."

"Maybe you could help people?" Naruto said, though it was more of a question. "I mean, there's probably a place you could donate money to."

"I don't want to donate money," Gaara snapped. "Excuse me…I mean, I don't want it to go somewhere I'll never see it again. I want to see someone helped now. So we're going to drive to the nearest homeless shelter and give up one of our blankets."

"Why?" Naruto asked. "Don't we need them?"

"Not really. Shikamaru and my sister are--" Gaara broke off, making a face in disgust. "Friendly. I require no blanket. We bought four of them in Eugene. I think we only need four. The last one can go to someone who needs it." Gaara turned to look at Naruto, his pea-green eyes shifting to focus on a close object, namely Naruto's face. "Please?"

"You don't need to ask me," Naruto said weakly. It wasn't his place, and if it was, he wouldn't have been able to say no to Gaara's pleading face. "Yeah. Let's go." He walked towards Murphy. "You coming?"

"In a minute," Gaara confirmed with one quick nod of his head. "I'm going to call Kankuro." Naruto shrugged and walked back into Murphy, shutting the door as quietly as he could and sliding under the covers next to Sasuke again.

"What did Gaara want?" Sasuke asked quietly, turning to one side to face Naruto.

"He said…he said he saw his mother," Naruto whispered. "I'm afraid what Temari said got to him. What if he's losing it?" Sasuke shook his head and put a gentle, pale hand over Naruto's eyes, closing them.

"After you talked to him, I'm sure he's fine," the dark haired boy whispered. "You have to be tired. It's early. Take a nap before everyone else wakes up and you lose your chance. Stop moving so much." Sasuke resisted the urge to grind against the poor, naïve blond boy who lay next to him.

"You're right…tired…" said naïve boy muttered sleepily. The younger boy wrapped slender arms around Sasuke's waist and pulled him closer. Sasuke blanched at the sudden intimacy with his friend. "Wake me up when Shikamaru and Temari wake up. Or better yet, Kiba, he sleeps later…" Naruto trailed off with a yawn and snuggled against Sasuke's chest. Sasuke shut his eyes. '_How about I sleep, and you wake me up, so I don't have to actually endure being so close to you? My self control only goes so far Loser. Or better yet, neither of us wake up and we just stay here until doomsday?_' Sasuke paused. '_Please let me have a fever, please let me have a fever, please let me have a fever…_'

* * *

Temari sat up slowly. A transient glance at her battered plastic McDonald's sports watch told her it was nearly eleven, that is, if three ninety nine could buy perfect time for four years. '_My head aches,_' she observed lightly. She rested propped up on one elbow, watching Shikamaru sleep. His chest rose slowly and sank slower, his shoulders heaving slightly with every breath he drew. She reached over vaguely to find herself a beer and to watch him sleep. After a beer and a half, Temari reasoned she should get him up. 

"Wake up Shika-Shika," the blonde girl crooned in his ear. "Shika-Shika it's morning time." Her lips hovered over his ear. The pony-tailed boy cracked one eye open. An unenthusiastic smirk played over his lips.

"Shika-Shika?" he asked. Temari nodded, beaming devilishly. "Shika-Shika not like being woke up by blonde girl."

"What, no proper grammar today? Too troublesome?" she asked sarcastically. "Why not correct that sentence?"

"Shika-Shika not like being woke up by blonde woman," Shikamaru corrected. "Fine, Shika-Shika up." He lounged on one elbow. "Yes?" He arched his black eyebrows wryly.

"Just wondering how it's going this morning." Her eyes were bright and cheerful, despite her longing for the warm embrace of sleep. She leaned forward, her chest pressing against Shikamaru's in a utterly 'let's-invade-other's-personal-space' kind of way. "Gaara called Kankuro." Temari could see Gaara's head perk up when she said his name.

"Really?" Shikamaru asked unenthusiastically. "I thought they didn't get along."

"I thought the same. You never know though, people can change, right?" Temari smiled, lowering her face near Shikamaru's to gaze mischievously into his eyes. She reached into her back pocket and pulled out a cube of substance that Shikamaru loathed: neon watermelon-cherry pink bubblegum. She popped it into her mouth and backed up just enough to blow a bubble in Shikamaru's face.

"Of course they can change," he muttered, eyes fixed on the vibrant gum his blonde friend chewed.

"He's different, don't you think?" she smirked seductively, pressing her chest against Shikamaru's again. "I mean, can't we all change?"

"You're troublesome Temari," Shikamaru growled.

"Oh, but can't I change?" she asked sweetly. "If Gaara can change, why can't I?" she snapped another magenta bubble between her lips with a rumbling 'smack'. Shikamaru gulped and attempted to tear his gaze away. This was no easily accomplished feat, however, as Temari was straddling his knees.

"I…" The vibrant color was burning itself into his cornea as he watched her snap another bubble between her two front teeth. Temari noticed his fascination with her bubbles.

"Bubble gum?" she asked sweetly. Shikamaru stared dumbstruck as Temari blew another bubble and worked her tongue around it, clearing it off her mouth when it popped. Shikamaru stared in fascination as the girl repeated this process several times, her tongue flicking out of a soft pink mouth to lick to the juicy gum off her lips. He must have parted his lips just a fraction of an inch…

Shikamaru discovered his mouth to be suddenly occupied with already-been-chewed neon watermelon-cherry pink bubble gum.

Gaara pretended not to notice.

Then he gagged.

Hours passed. Slowly they worked their way through time and space in their pseudo-sixties time machine, the marauders of Murphy. "We're here!" Gaara sang sarcastically, roughly three hours post gum incident. He opened the door leading out of Murphy and stepped out. "The worst hotel known to man!" He started for the door. Temari, woozy from still more alcohol consumed post gum incident, swayed out of the van and wandered towards the door after her brother. Shikamaru, though flustered, caught her by the waist.

"Hold these suitcases and when Gaara comes back, follow him to our room," he instructed. Temari nodded vaguely and took the suitcases from Shikamaru.

"Okay Shika-Shika," she muttered, her hands dropping to her sides and the luggage dropping to the ground with a slight thud. Shikamaru was glad he had the presence of mind to hand her the suitcases with non-breakable items in it only, like clothes, and non-pointy items that might puncture said clothes. Kiba's spiked dog collar had been tossed out long ago.

"Room nine-twenty-nine, nine-thirty, and nine-thirty-one!" Gaara called. He ran over to Shikamaru and handed him a key marked 'nine-twenty-nine'. "Make sure she doesn't trip, okay?" he looked pointedly at Temari. Shikamaru nodded, tightening his grip around her waist.

"What a troublesome girl," he muttered. "Sure." It was Gaara. The occupants of Murphy were still afraid for his mental health, his sudden change in attitude, and the least Shikamaru could do was help his drunken sister up the stairs. '_You mean your drunken crush,_' a nasty part of Shikamaru's mind whispered lowly. Shikamaru brushed it off and helped Temari slowly through the lobby. He was aware of stares he got, but he ignored them. When she swayed to one side, he just caught her and guided her back in a straight line.

They discovered the elevator broken. Shikamaru opened the door to the stairs and proceeded to slowly climb them, one at a time, holding Temari to his hip. They climbed nine flights of stairs, a total of two hundred and forty three stairs. Then they passed twenty eight doors before they reached their room.

Shikamaru slid the key into the slot, the green light blinking, and pushed the door open. Temari stumbled in after him as he helped her over to the couch. She slumped onto it and leaned back. Shikamaru turned to get the suitcases they had left on step one fifty nine. Temari, however, didn't like this idea.

"You know, if you hadn't had so much to drink, I wouldn't have to leave, because I wouldn't have had to leave them," Shikamaru protested. Temari shook her head and grasped his wrist, pulling him down on the couch next to her. She rocked back and forth, still clutching his hand.

"Don't leave me," she squealed. "Because I lo--" she yawned and curled up, not even bothering to finish her sentence. Shikamaru rolled his eyes, but part of him really didn't want to move. Luckily, he didn't have to. A very pissed-looking Kiba walked in through the open door a moment later. He was carrying Temari's suitcases, which he promptly dropped in the door way before marching out and all the clothes spilled out.

"That was for getting rid of my chain collar!" he shouted back. Shikamaru sighed. '_Troublesome._'

* * *

Sasuke curled up on the floor and shivered. There was only one bed in the hotel room, and it was tiny. '_Gaara…Gaara, I hate you and your stupid booking skills. I also hate Kiba for taking the only available sleeping bag. And yet, I love you both._' He shivered again, tugging a blanket over his shoulders. He could feel Naruto's blue eyes on his back. 

"Cold?" the blond boy asked through the darkness. Sasuke shrugged.

"I've seen colder."

He heard Naruto snort. "You couldn't even last five minutes without a jacket. Get up here." He heard the rustling of cotton sheets and someone grasp him by the shoulder. "You'll freeze to death. Gaara gave you the pathetic blanket." Sasuke crawled over the end of the mattress and felt his way over the it until he hit the wall. Naruto was stretched out lengthwise, taking up less room than Sasuke would have expected. When his hand connected with Naruto's shoulder, Naruto shifted and eased onto the floor

"You don't have to move," Sasuke whispered into the darkness. To admit it, he didn't _want_ Naruto to move. Naruto stopped his descent and reversed direction.

"No?" he asked quietly. Sasuke shrugged.

"I don't mind. I'll freeze anyway, it's warmer that way." He felt the edge of the bed shift as Naruto put his full weight on it and slide next to Sasuke. Sasuke felt a hand connect to his forehead, only to be withdrawn.

"You okay?" Naruto asked. "You feel sort of hot. I mean, your forehead feels sort of hot." Sasuke shivered. '_Thank god…I actually do have a fever!_' he had never been so blisteringly happy to be sick before. The other option, the other explanations for the hot flashes around his friend, a burning blush, that explanation scared him shitless.

"Cold, and my throat hurts," he muttered. His throat _did_ hurt, now that he thought about it. He heard Naruto hiss beside him. "I'll sleep on the floor or whatever. Don't want you catching whatever I have." He swallowed. His throat didn't hurt anymore. '_God no…_' he pleaded.

"If you're sick, don't sleep on the floor," Naruto chided. "Don't be stubborn. Here, here's an extra blanket." He found the blanket Sasuke had been using on the floor and threw it over both of them. Sasuke snuggled against him, listening to his gentle breathing. '_Just a fever,_' he told himself. '_I hope._'

"Naruto…" Sasuke murmured.

"Hm?" Naruto moved his head to look down at the black haired boy who lay against his chest, whose dark hair was splayed over his face. "What is it Sasuke?" Sasuke propped himself up on one elbow.

"Oh…sorry…" Sasuke bit his lip and sung below the covers. His face rested on Naruto's belly, and he could hear the blond boy's stomach rumble. "Are you hungry?" he asked softly. "I can hear your stomach."

"A little," Naruto admitted.

"Snack machine?" Sasuke asked with a slight grin. "I need some ice for my head anyway." He jumped to the floor, taking his roommate's hand gently and dragging the blond boy out of bed. Naruto followed the dark-haired boy down the hall to the snack machine. Sasuke dug a few coins out of his back pocket. "What did you want? They have instant noodles, and there's hot water in the coffee machine."

"Ooh! I want instant noodles!" Naruto cried bouncily. Sasuke slipped the quarters in and punched in D12. When the chicken flavored noodles fell out of the machine, he passed them to Naruto. Naruto eyed them, then fixed his gaze on Sasuke. "Thanks Sasuke. What are you going to eat? You have to eat, if you can keep it down."

"I'll have a granola bar," Sasuke said, almost icily. A few more quarters into the machine. He punched in A5 and picked the granola bar out of the slot. "Let's head back." He walked slowly down the hall to room nine-thirty. Naruto followed, clutching his instant noodles. Sasuke slipped back into the room and put on hot water for his friend. He made sure to stay out of the waves of steam.

Hot flashes, you know?

* * *

**My ShikaTema writing skills leave a lot to be desired, I'm sure...but come on, it's ABC gum! Erm...review please? I need opinions on my NejiGaara idea (simply because I'm too much of a wimp to decide for myself). That, and reviews feed my soul. Also I have tomorrow (Wendsday) off, so that means I have as long as I want to write!**


	9. Day 9: South Dakota

**She don't own Naruto…or China (if she did though, she'd have freed Tibet.)

* * *

**

Gaara picked up Temari's cell phone as it rang with the rock version of Swan Lake. "Hello, Temari's cell phone, her brother speaking."

"Gaara?" It was Neji's voice. "Where are you guys?"

"We're somewhere in the middle of South Dakota. What's wrong?" he asked. Neji's usually clear, emotionless voice was thick and wavering. His breathing was erratic and came in short puffs. "Hyuuga? Where are you?"

"I'm," Neji choked, "in Rapid City. Are you guys coming through here?" Gaara blanched.

"Hyuuga, how the hell did you get in Rapid City? Calm down, tell me what's going on, and stop panicking." Gaara shut his eyes lightly, evening his voice out. '_I don't want to scare him, it sounds like he's freaking out enough._' "Tell me what happened Neji." He heard Neji swallow on the other line.

"I don't think I'll be able to handle telling you over the phone," he whispered. "Are you guys coming through here?"

"If you need us to, we will," Gaara answered simply. "Where are you, exactly?"

"I'm in front of…I have no idea. Neptune St. or Dr. I think. How close are you guys?"

"Close. Can you hold out a half hour?" Gaara asked. Neji muttered a reply in the affirmative. "Good. I'll see you then." He heard Neji hang up before turning off the cell phone himself. Naruto looked up from his spot on the floor.

"Was that Neji?" he asked cautiously. Gaara nodded and pushed a little more on the gas.

"He sounded like he was in trouble," he breathed. "So we're going to Rapid City." There was no argument. Naruto crawled into the front seat to sit next to Gaara. He put a hand in front of the air conditioner before running it through his fingers. Gaara found it infinitely distracting.

"What kind of trouble?" the blond boy asked. Gaara shook his head.

"I'm not sure…he sounded bad though." Gaara consulted the map and, after checking the exit number, switched onto a new highway. "I told him I'd find him." Gaara turned his intense eyes on the road. Naruto blinked.

"You said you'd drive to find him? What about making good time? Won't you be really late to the hotel? You really hate driving in the dark," Naruto reminded. Gaara shook his head.

"The world doesn't revolve around me," he nearly snapped back. "You didn't hear him. He sounded like he was going to keel over and die any second." Gaara fixed his eyes on the road. He maneuvered the car across the lanes and onto another exit. The red-head had his foot flat against the floor, accelerator or no accelerator, it was flat.

Gaara managed to find Neptune Dr. without much difficulty. He pulled up on it, and scanned across the street for Neji, his eyes flicking over all the different places said boy could be. He finally spotted him, crouched on the cement, face below the nose hidden. Gaara recognized him by his eyes, which were a bright, milky white.

Gaara handed the van off to Naruto, who drove it around in circles. Gaara leapt out of it and sprinted over to where Neji lay, curled up in a ball. "Hyuuga," the red-headed boy whispered, kneeling beside the teenager and shaking his shoulder. Neji winced. "Hyuuga, what happened?" Gaara's eyes scrutinized the other boy fiercely. "We're here, right?" Neji nodded and stood up shakily.

"I know this must be inconvenient for you--"

"The world doesn't revolve around me," Gaara interrupted. "You will have to jump in, so be ready to run." Gaara stared at Murphy, and when it approached, he and Shikamaru helped Neji jump in. The white-eyed boy collapsed in a heap on the floor of the van, moaning in pain.

"Thanks," he muttered under his breath. Gaara shut the sliding door of Murphy and stared at the boy who lay sprawled in front of him.

"What happened Hyuuga?" he pressed. Neji looked up miserably.

"I ran away," he breathed.

"How did you manage to get to South Dakota?" Shikamaru wondered. Neji swallowed thickly.

"I took the money I had earned this summer and bought a ticket. I knew you guys would be coming through. I heard you talking about your schedule." He curled up and shook. Gaara knelt beside him and tucked a strand of dark hair behind the teenager's ear.

"Neji, why would you do that?" he cooed gently. No one knew Gaara was even capable of cooing, in any way, shape, or form. "Neji, tell us what happened, so we can understand." He sat back on his feet and waited.

"My uncle kicked me out," Neji breathed. "He kicked me out because he found out I was dating someone. Hinata told him. It wasn't her fault, but still…" Neji sat up, propping himself up against the back of the driver's seat. They swerved dangerously, and Shikamaru decided it was time to take over driving.

"Who were you dating?" Temari asked curiously. Neji cringed.

"It doesn't matter what his name was," Neji murmured. Kiba's eyes narrowed.

"His?" he asked. Neji nodded softly. Kiba's eyes narrowed even further. "Your uncle kicked you out because you were dating a guy?" Another nod. Kiba's eyes went to slits. "That's disgusting. Kicking you out, I mean. I'm going to kill him." Neji looked up.

"I doubt you could," he said bitterly.

"So you got kicked out, and then what?" Shikamaru pressed, trying to find out the rest of the story. '_I just need to know what happened,_' he thought. '_We all know Hiashi Hyuuga is a disgusting, controlling, horrible man._'

"After his latest attempt to destroy my mind, he kicked me out, I bought a plane ticket, found a not-too busy street in a town I was sure you guys would stop in, and called Gaara." Gaara stopped his sizzling anger when he heard his name.

"How long were you there?" Gaara asked cautiously. Neji shrugged.

"Four hours." He straightened his back and dusted out his long hair. "I'm fine. I'll sleep now."

"Wait…are you sure you're okay? Are you hurt at all?" Gaara asked. Neji nodded.

"Fine." He leaned against the back of the seat, shaking gently with each bump Murphy went over. He shut his milky white eyes lightly and evened his breathing. "Thank you." Within minutes, he was snoozing peacefully.

Temari groaned. "We're out of alcohol," she said angrily and yet sleepily, which was a quite a comical tone. "Wait…any left in the trunk Shika-Shika?"

"No, Temari, you drank all of it yesterday. Gaara probably won't stop again, considering he's already had to stop once today, and you're going to shoot your liver. His not stopping is beneficial to everyone involved," Shika-Shika replied drolly from the front seat. "You can either sleep, or I can attempt to teach you Go." Shikamaru gave Temari a pointed look.

"Night Shika," she muttered. Shikamaru briefly wondered if there was a reason everyone seemed to be falling asleep. He didn't get to wonder very long, as Gaara demanded the wheel back. '_I guess some things never change,_' he thought with an unenthusiastic laugh as he found himself shoved over a seat as the red-head took over the driving.

Uchiha Sasuke dangled his feet in the water, shivering in the cold draft that wafted off the swimming pool. He was keeping an eye on Naruto, who kept dipping below the surface of the chlorinated water. Normally It would have been Gaara's job to make sure the bouncy boy didn't drown, but he was up in the room, trying to console a traumatized Neji. Next the duty would have been Temari or Shikamaru's job, but both of them were lazily tanning in the dying afternoon light. Kiba was sitting in the Jacuzzi nearby, appearing to be napping.

So it was Sasuke's job.

It wasn't even like he could have done much if Naruto was drowning, except maybe wake up Shikamaru. Sasuke couldn't swim. He had never learned, seeing as his parents had really only paid attention to him when Itachi had reminded them, and Itachi only reminded them up until the time Sasuke was four. After that, he was on his own. Orochimaru didn't bother teaching him to swim. Sasuke, in his eyes, was only good for one purpose and one purpose only.

"Sasuke," Naruto whined as he swam up to Sasuke and rested his chin on the dry boy's knee. "You should swim. It's fun." His hair tickled Sasuke's stomach through his loose shirt and Sasuke resisted the urge to shiver at the contact.

"I don't swim," he said impassively. Naruto pouted, resting both elbows on Sasuke's knees.

"Please? It'll be fun." Naruto wrapped a soaking arms around Sasuke's dry shirt.

"I don't swim," Sasuke repeated. This time, it was a little quieter. Naruto wrinkled his nose and eyed Sasuke carefully.

"You mean you don't swim or you can't swim?" the blond boy asked. Sasuke looked down at the water, avoiding the gaze of his friend.

"I can't swim," he muttered under his breath. Naruto raised a single eyebrow and moved a little to his right to catch the dark-eyed boy's gaze. Sasuke avoided the prying eyes that stared up and him in shame. "I never had a chance to learn. What's to you?"

"I can show you!" Naruto cried. "Come on! It's not all that hard." Naruto pushed back off the wall Sasuke sat on and flipped backwards through the water. Sasuke shivered as a couple of drops of water landed on his face. He slid his shirt off and tossed it at their pile of clothing. It hit Temari in the face. She sat up and glared before leaning back to go back to tanning, or sleeping as the case may be.

Sasuke circled to the shallow end of the blue pool and slid feet first into the water right next to the white stucco steps. It wasn't too cold, but he felt slightly self-conscious as his feet scrambled for the bottom. When his feet finally connected with the snowy plaster, he instantly found himself breathing easier.

"Ooh, you're in!" Naruto exclaimed. He paddled over to Sasuke and treaded water in front of him. "Can you tread water at all?" he asked. Sasuke bent his knees off the bottom of the pool and mimicked Naruto's motions. He sank. When he surfaced, standing on the bottom, he shook his head wildly.

"Not at all," he choked through the water, seeing as the water came up to his bottom lip, even when he stood on tiptoe. Naruto bit his lip and leaned against the wall, considering Sasuke. Sasuke could feel his stares and shrunk back ever so slightly. "I felt stupid."

"That's okay," Naruto assured his friend. "You have to learn how to swim. You can't just suddenly learn how to tread water, just like…" he trailed off, wrinkling his nose in thought. Sasuke smirked.

"Just like you can't magically lean to eat nine bowls of ramen in a sitting, right?" he said with a light laugh. Naruto chewed it over before nodding.

"Exactly," he said. "Alright, push off that wall with your feet and see how far you can go. You don't even have to move your arms, just push off with your legs." Sasuke wrinkled his brow in confusion as he eyed the wall.

"I know I can't get across the pool in one kick," Sasuke pointed out. Naruto beamed.

"I'll catch you when you get to the middle. How's that? Just tell me when you start to sink." He shut his eyes and turned his head, still grinning adorably. Sasuke gulped before a smile ghosted over his pale lips.

"Whatever." Sasuke kicked against the wall sloppily. He got maybe seven feet before he started to sink miserably into the water. He took a breath, which was met with a gulp of chlorinated water. '_Shit!_' the dark-haired boy thought. He didn't, however, sink entirely to the bottom.

"I told you to tell me when you started to sink," Naruto chided lightly as he hoisted Sasuke back to the surface. "Here, why not just try floating on your back?" Sasuke shrugged, turning onto his back and shutting his eyes. He felt Naruto's fingers touch his back lightly and sink down a couple of inches, hovering just near taut skin.

"I don't want to sink," Sasuke hissed, glancing apprehensively at Naruto through half closed lids. Naruto shook his head.

"You won't," the blond boy said. Sasuke relaxed slightly and floated, the dying afternoon sun casting shadows over his bare chest. He felt Naruto's fingers slip out from underneath his back. "See? Told you that you wouldn't sink."

"Yeah…" Sasuke muttered. His eyes clicked open and he scrambled to hold onto Naruto. Naruto's lips stretched into a wide smile and he took hold of Sasuke's waist and they glided back to the shallow end.

"If you can float, you just need to learn how to move, and then you can swim," Naruto explained wisely. "Float again," he ordered Sasuke. Sasuke shrugged and flipped onto his back. His chest was cold in the evening wind, the large amount of water not doing much to help this fact.

"Now what?" he asked.

"Alright, kick your legs back and forth, but keep floating. Try flipping onto your stomach, if you can float on your stomach," Naruto instructed. "Alright, now kick your legs back and forth, and move your arms like this." Naruto demonstrated. Sasuke mimicked the blond boy's motions carefully. He slipped below the vivid blue water a couple of times, but Naruto pushed him up gently by the stomach so he could gasp for air again.

"Is this okay?" Sasuke asked offhandedly. He managed to swim in a quick circle. Naruto nodded.

"Now try and swim across the pool." The pool wasn't very big, maybe four meters by five meters. Sasuke drew his lips into a firm line. He didn't _like_ the idea of drowning, not in the least. His brother had drowned his best friend, right before he killed their parents, and made it look like suicide. Water _scared_ Sasuke. "I'll be next to you, you know. I won't let you drown."

Sasuke nodded. "Alright," he said hoarsely. He pushed off the back wall and glided through the water. He managed to splash his way across the pool, but his trek wasn't at all graceful. Naruto did, as promised, stay beside him, despite the amount of water Sasuke was sure he kicked in the other boy's face.

"You did really well," Naruto assured his friend. He led the boy back to the steps, one arm snaked around his waist. Sasuke shivered at his friend's touch. He nearly had a seizure from the sudden intimate contact when Naruto pivoted to his right and their bare chests had brushed against each other. Naruto started up the steps, dropping his hold on Sasuke, and Sasuke suddenly missed the feeling of the other boy's arm around him.

And then it hit him. It hit him like a sack of bricks that had been tossed out of a truck going sixty. It hit him square in the face, and you know what? It really hurt. Or if it didn't hurt, it was at the very least surprising. Even though he had seen it coming for a while, it was still a little startling when he finally realized it.

He _liked_ Naruto.

* * *

**Read and review Lovlies! I meant to update last night, but silly FF refused to let me upload, so I went to sleep. So...2 chapters today! One now, and one at eleven PST (which is always when I update...)**

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	10. Day 10: Minnesota

**She doesn't own Naruto...or Bhutan (but if she did, she'd had visited Thimphu by now.)**

* * *

Hyuuga Neji lay sprawled on the floor of Murphy. He stared at the ceiling, carefully mapping out the fuzz that clung to it. He hadn't known driving could be this boring. "This is insanely dull," he said after memorizing the blue fuzz that hung near the left rear window.

"You haven't even learned the meaning of boring," Gaara said, "until you've seen Oklahoma. I've been there once, only once, and when we go through again, SOMEONE ELSE CAN DRIVE!"

"We're a little short today, are we not?" Temari asked from her position sprawled across Shikamaru. "By the way Gaa-honey, can we stop for--"

"No," Shikamaru cut in. "Because then you won't speak in coherent sentences until St. Paul. Personally, I like you when you speak in coherent sentences. It breaks the tedium of this troublesome drive." He stared out the window, stroking Temari's hair absentmindedly.

"Yeah…why did it have to be a road trip? Why couldn't it have been a trip to see Wicked?" Temari jumped in.

"Or Cats," added Naruto with a fiendish smirk. This earned a roasting glare from Kiba, who promptly curled up in a ball and fell asleep to the constant rhythm of Murphy's trek eastward. Then, just as everyone besides Gaara began to doze off, Neji screamed.

"SHIT!" he hollered. "What was that?" he rolled over, shrieking, and under a seat. Unfortunately said seat was occupied by Naruto and Sasuke, who glared and shoved him back towards whatever was offending him so horribly.

"Lee…" Gaara said through the gritted teeth. "Why? Why did we have to take it? Why couldn't we have left it in San Francisco? Or Eugene? I know Deidara would have…hated it actually, but it's not our problem. Why do you have to have a crush on Sakura?" he demanded, albeit not too loudly, turning around just long enough to send a hate-beam towards Naruto. Sasuke drew in a breath. Naruto rolled over on the faux-leather seat.

"I don't," he assured the red-head flatly. "I only like her, and only as a friend. She's dating our six year _teacher_ for the sake of all the ramen in the world. I don't _like_ her. Okay, I _did_, but not now. I mean, I was…twelve? Let it go." Sasuke breathed again.

"Whatever. I hate it."

"What is it?" Neji asked. It was with those words, that the loudest synchronized laugh any of the travelers had ever heard erupted from the Van That Conspires Against All Who Are Not Gaara, which was currently making annoying noises that Gaara could have taken to be laughter.

"It's a lizard. Sakura's lizard," Gaara replied flatly.

"Gaara has been trying to kill it for a week now," Naruto explained gleefully. He shifted against Sasuke, who found himself trying to suppress both the urge to laugh and the urge to groan. Neji stared blankly at Naruto before looking towards the lizard, before looking towards the ceiling.

"Certainly is _bouncy_," he said with slight distaste. "See why you hate it."

"It _bites_," Gaara protested. "I'm telling you, but they won't believe me."

"Gaara, the lizard doesn't bite," Temari argued. Gaara's red hair wiggled over the top of the seat.

"I am telling you, it bites and it's out to _get_ me! Why can no one comprehend that that creature is a demon? You believe me right Murphy?" He patted the dashboard of the car. "You too, right Neji?" Neji grunted in the affirmative. "Good. Put it in the back with the other untouchables."

"Which are…?" Neji asked vaguely. He didn't really care, but he thought he might show some interest in the people who practically rescued him. No…did rescue him.

"Alcohol. Reservations. Taser."

"Taser?"

"Texas is a scary place Kiba. A very scary place."

Neji raised an eyebrow. He hadn't remembered Gaara being like this. Gaara was always so homicidal. Besides the taser and threatening the lizard, he was in fact much kinder than Neji remembered. He stared up at the ceiling, locating a pattern of fuzz that resembled a severely crippled butterfly. '_Like me,_' he thought.

* * *

"I don't want grape juice, I WANT BOOZE!" Temari shouted.

"I can't take you anywhere," Shikamaru and Gaara said simultaneously, followed by a synchronized sigh. They looked at each other, raised an eyebrow, and went back to eating. The waiter, who was being traumatized by an angry lush Temari, scurried away and came back with a shot. Temari downed it.

"I need me some whiskey! Whiskey and cognac!" she shouted. "Screw ID, I have it, stop harassing me." She shoved her wallet in the man's face. The waiter scurried off again with a 'yes ma'am'. Kiba sighed.

"How come you can drink as much as you want and we can't?"

"Because," Temari said. "I lived through twenty-one years of pure torture. Oh well, I'll get take out booze or whatever and you guys can have it. I'm so going to jail for this," she added. Gaara nodded at his sister, eyebrows raised. Well, they would have been, if he had any eyebrows.

"Jail for a really long, long time. Temari, if you get arrested in Minnesota, I swear…you're just stuck here." He threw up his hands in defeat. Temari pouted.

"You guys would bail me out though. You bailed Kiba out," Temari pointed out.

"Kiba rammed a cruiser! Bail was pocket money! Kankuro makes that much in a week. You, on the other hand, would be stuck in a jail cell, rotting away," Gaara practically snapped back. Temari smirked and leaned back in her chair.

"You know you would bail me out."

"I know."

Eventually, they dragged Temari back to her hotel room, which was in the same building as the restaurant. Kiba curled in the sleeping bag on the floor of their oddly massive two level hotel room. There was only one between them, but there were no issues with space. Between aforementioned couch, a sleeping bag, and two beds, everyone had room.

"Alright, do your sleeping arrangements surprise you?" Gaara asked drolly. Sasuke shot him a murderous glare. He knew Gaara knew he liked Naruto. The smirk was just too much to miss. He couldn't do much about it though, so he just bit his lip and took it. Neji was leaning against the wall, staring cautiously at the others.

"Where do I sleep?" he asked quietly. "I'll sleep in that van of yours Gaara. I don't mind…"

"No. For two reasons: one, it's name is Murphy. You shall not sleep in Murphy so long as you call it my van. It's like…England's Queen. It's the Queen of England. Not Gaara's van. It's Murphy, or The Van. Second, no way are you sleeping down there in the parking lot with the bums. You're sleeping where everyone else is sleeping. In here."

"But…"

"Don't feel uncomfortable," Naruto chimed in. "Sasuke and I share all the time and there's nothing going on." Sasuke blushed at that statement, and Neji held back a light snicker. Then his eyes snapped back into focus as he turned his attention on Gaara.

"So…" he said in a small voice. Gaara rolled his eyes.

"Layers. We figured that out the first night or so. Lots and lots of layers. Just pile on a sweatshirt. I won't even touch you." Gaara slipped on a pair of grey sweatpants over his jeans. "Come on." Gaara rolled onto the bed and stretched out. Neji sat beside him. Eventually Gaara snapped out of his stupor and slipped off his tee shirt, casting it on the floor.

"You're taking that off?" Neji squeaked. "What happened to layers?"

"What about them?" Gaara asked. "Why the hell are you so freaked out?"

"It was sort of ingrained into my mind, you know--"

"Being gay is wrong, let's all go out and make babies, I know, I've heard it before. It gets old. We're not _sleeping_ together, we're just sleeping together. J-- hey, Neji, what are you doing?" Neji turned around from his trek across the room and picking up the phone on the oak desk.

"I'm going to go home," he whispered. "My uncle will want me back." He picked up the phone and dialed nine before punching in his uncle's cell number. Gaara was over beside him in a flash, having ripped the phone out of the other boy's hands and slammed it down on the receiver.

"Stop it!" The red-headed boy hissed bitterly.

Gaara pushed Neji backwards and the darker haired boy fell with a floof on the pristine ivory shag carpet. Gaara knelt beside him, pushing him onto his back. Neji glared and grabbed Gaara by the neck, flipping him over and trying to strangle him. Kiba's eyes clicked open. He tried to pull Neji off Gaara, but Neji shrugged him off and bit at Gaara's neck. Gaara squealed and bit back.

Yes boys and girls, the proud Neji Hyuuga and Gaara Sabaku were fighting on the floor of a hotel and biting each other. Sasuke stopped counting the stupid sexual innuendoes after twenty-nine. Naruto sort of watched, while even Shikamaru was starting to realize just how troublesome cleaning up the blood would be.

"Shut up," Gaara said. He had weaseled his way into straddling Neji's hips and slapping the other boy's face until his pale skin turned bright red. As if biting wasn't enough. Neji was bleeding at the lip, and despite Gaara coming out on top ('_Another two,_' Sasuke had thought), the red-head looked slightly more beat up. He lowered his face very close to Neji's before hissing again, "shut up."

"Why should I?" Neji asked. "Do you not get it? You have no fucking idea what it's like."

"Really? No? I think I might." Kelly green eyes met milky white ones with narrowed bitterness. "You're wrong Hyuuga." Gaara pushed himself onto his elbows, still hovering over Neji. By that time, everyone in the hotel room had paused to watch them. "Go home. See if I care. You're just another person to try and accommodate. I'm sleeping in Murphy. My Murphy. My goddamn best friend in the world. Anyone comes after me, I'm going to stab you with my goddamn taser. I swear. I'm not fucking kidding. I'm helping humanity by not letting you get close enough to rip off your lips and crush your hips with my bare hands."  
Then Gaara left. Neji lay on the floor in a heap. Naruto eventually dragged him gingerly to the bathroom and helped him wash the crusted blood off his lips.

"Gaara's not mad at you Neji," Naruto promised. "He's just angry at how you're thinking."

Neji snorted. "What does it matter? My uncle--"

"Stop bringing up your uncle," Sasuke snapped from the doorframe. "Forget him. He's a bastard who hates gays."

"You don't get it--"

"Damn right I don't! I just live with a guy who RAPES ME." Sasuke turned on his heel, leaving a severely shocked Hyuuga and a slightly dazed Uzamaki. The Uzamaki snapped out of it quickly though and handed Neji the washcloth he had been using to wipe away the blood.

"I'm going to risk the taser," he said, taking a key and leaving.

Neji stared at the fuzz on the carpet.

"What are you doing?" Shikamaru asked. Temari had drifted off in the pony-tailed boy's arms, and he had laid her down and taken a spot beside Neji, staring at the floor with lazy, almost unseeing eyes.

"Fuzz watching," Neji replied, fully aware of how stupid that sounded.

"Fun," Shikamaru said, putting his eyes into focus on the ceiling. Neither of them spoke for a long time.

"I see a puppy," Shikamaru said after a little while.

"A snake."

"A house cat."

"A butterfly coming out."

"Sleeping."

"In Pain."

"Healing."

"Ugly."

"Underappreciated."

"Broken." Neji's bright white eyes unfocused and he shut them. "Wrong. Disgusting."

"You're forgiven Hyuuga."

* * *

**Read and review...see the fast update? TWICE IN ONE DAY! I could have just relaxed, taken a day off, gotten over four hours of sleep in a night. But no, I wrote out anotehr chapter so the day to chapter ratio would be 1:1 still.**

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**Still don't drink bottled water, google pronoia, and go donate time or money or both to those less fortunate.**


	11. Day 11: Chicago

**A disgusting author insert (I'll give you Hanoi if you can find it!) **

She doesn't, however, own Vietnam, or Naruto, so chances are you aren't getting Hanoi…oh well, see if you can find my author insert anyway. I don't even give her a name. I think she gets one sentence or so.

* * *

Uchiha Sasuke realized he hated Friday's with passion. He used to _like_ Fridays. They had Home Ec on Fridays. They actually had Home Ec everyday, but Fridays they usually made food you could actually eat. Of course, in Chicago traffic at five o' clock, the only food in sight is the fat guy in the toll booth's hamburger. No wait…the only food in sight _was_ the fat guy in the toll booth's hamburger. Now it's a dead pigeon.

"Hey Gaara, do pigeons taste good?" Sasuke asked. He earned no response from Gaara. "Gaara? Still not talking?" Gaara still didn't reply. Traffic was moving slowly, and the red-headed driver had busied himself with ignoring the world. Sasuke felt a little put out. That was his job. _His_ job. Snot nosed red heads are not allowed to take _his_ job. _His_ job was being the angst, closed, silent person. Not Gaara. Gaara was the leader basically. He made sure the world went round. He did not _sulk_.

"Sasuke, just leave him alone," Naruto sighed.

"Well there's roll reversal at its finest," Shikamaru observed. "Maybe not its finest, but at least its most troublesome. Can we get over this before someone crashes into the toll both."

"We're not moving Shikamaru," Neji pointed out from his fuzz staring. "We're not going to crash." Shikamaru ignored Neji, as well as everyone else in the car and started on one of his hundreds of crossword puzzles. Sasuke looked on jealously. He wished he had brought crossword puzzles, or better yet, a portable CD player.

"Can we stop with the fighting?" Temari asked loudly. She stroked her fingers over the scales on Lee's back and scratched his head. "We're all a little short. Let's go and get some food, then we can have a civilized conversation, like civil--"

"You just want your alcohol," Kiba said offhandedly.

"Damn right," Temari barked. "It doesn't matter what I want now, all that matters is we sit down to dinner at someplace without florescent lighting! That's what we want!" This earned her a strange look from Kiba.

"We?"

"Yes, we! The dualism that exists within human beings. The 'what should we do now' that we ask ourselves when we make a decision. The 'let us' in let's. The dual--"

"Shikamaru told you that, didn't he?"

"Yeah."

"You're not helping Temari."

"We the people of Temari's brain want food, sans the ugly lights. So you have thirty seconds to get it before her before she gets the hell out and steals the toll booth operator's hamburger. Twenty-nine, twenty-eight…"

"Fine," Gaara said emotionlessly.

"Yeah!" Temari called, throwing one fist into the air. It hit the roof of the van and she pulled it back down, rubbing it painfully. "Okay…where too?" she asked.

Gaara didn't reply to his sister's comment, his eyes now transfixed on the far car. A few cars moved ahead, and he slowly maneuvered over to the exit and got off. He rolled down the highway and into a parking lot that held a pizza parlor.

"Why are we going here?" Kiba asked.

"Chicago pizza. Duh," Temari shook her head in annoyance at the younger boy. "Chicago beer too," she added with a smirk. Shikamaru rolled his eyes.

"Nice try Temari." He shook his head as well and threw open the doors of Murphy. The rest of his companions followed him. Except Gaara. The red-head also motioned for Neji to stay. Shikamaru shot them a dubious look. "You guys coming."

"Just a second," Gaara said. Neji cast him a confused look.

"Yeah?" Neji asked. "What is it?"

Gaara climbed nimbly across the partition and sat next to Neji. "You're angry, ne?"

"No," Neji said, pausing. "Just confused. Really confused." He stared emotionlessly forward for a bit before turning his eyes on Gaara. "Are you mad at me? I got you pretty bad." The dark-haired boy reached out and ran his fingers along Gaara's lip where he had punched him. Gaara winced slightly and caught Neji's wrist.

"I'm not angry, no." Gaara shut his eyes, rolling his eyeballs over eye-lined lids. "I don't understand though, what's wrong with you." Gaara leaned against the shut door and watched Neji. It looked like Neji rolled his eyes, but because Neji had no pupils, it was hard to tell.

"Fate says I'm messed up. You can't beat fate."

"Who says?" Gaara asked sharply. "Who says fate even has that mapped out for you? What's with the inferiority Complex Hyuuga?"

"What's with the 'I'm-helping-humanity-now' Complex Sabaku?" Neji but back. Gaara's eyes traveled over him slowly.

"Because I chose it."

* * *

Uchiha Sasuke sighed and took another bite of pizza. Somehow he had been conned into sharing with Naruto, pressed up against the blond boy and constantly reaching for the same pepperoni pizza. He drowned out the 'I don't _want_ sauce, I hate tomatoes' coming from the table behind them.

"You want this last piece?" Naruto asked, jerking his head at the last slice of pizza.

"I'll take it if you don't want it," Sasuke answered. Naruto contemplated.

"Did you want to share it?" he asked. Sasuke shrugged. '_Yes,_' a little voice in his head nagged. '_Just like you want--_' Sasuke cut his thoughts off and focused on the task at hand. He nodded. "Cool." Naruto took a bite of pizza before passing it obliviously to Sasuke. Sasuke nibbled on the piece of pizza before handing it back to Naruto. Naruto beamed adorably and bit into the pizza, passing it back to Sasuke, who passed it back to Naruto, who passed it back to Sasuke.

"Last bite…" Sasuke observed.

"You want it?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke shrugged. He didn't give a damn about eh last bite a pizza. "Don't care." Naruto grinned brightly, the strange whisker marks that adorned his bright cheeks scrunching up.

"Open wide Bastard," he giggled. Sasuke obeyed wearily, and very nearly closed his mouth over Naruto's fingers, but he wasn't that mean. It would be more traumatizing if it was Kiba, because Kiba would have bitten the offending digits. Not Sasuke, at least not around Naruto. Oh no…

"Can we have desert?" Temari asked happily. "Please?" She looked hopefully at Shikamaru, who shrugged.

"I guess," he said. Naruto perked up.

"I want an ice cream cone," he said happily. '_That's sort of cute,_' Sasuke thought.

Of course, watching Naruto lick an ice cream cone, was decidedly uncute. '_Fate's fucked me over before, why stop now?_' Indeed, watching Naruto's timid pink tongue lap chocolate ice cream off what looked like a demented waffle was not an easy process for Sasuke to watch without _jumping_ the blond boy. He was so close, in fact, that he could barely keep control of himself as he busily downed his own ice cream: vanilla, in a bowl, with a spoon.

Sasuke knew Temari was smirking. He could feel her gaze on him, evaluating, and he knew she was smirking. '_You know I like him, don't you?_' he thought. His face must have been easier to read than he had though, seeing as the smirk factor went up and he could have sworn she nodded.

Naruto was intently working on the ice cream cone in his hand. He swirled his tongue around in circles, making little figure eights in the cream. He managed to get some of it on his nose in one last semi-rabid attempt to get the last of the ice cream, and Sasuke very nearly jumped him. '_I could probably get away with it,_' he thought sinisterly, '_I could always say I was just wiping off the ice cream._' It wouldn't work though. Someone would catch on.

"We going?" Gaara asked, almost exasperatedly. Temari contemplated.

"Neji, do you drink?" she asked. "I mean, you're what…eighteen?

"Nineteen this past week."

"Stupid private school schooling system, we all know you could be a sophomore," Temari muttered sourly. "So…do you?" She smiled brightly. Gaara made little head shaking motions from behind his sister, but Neji missed them.

"Drink? Not really…why do you ask? Isn't it illegal?"

"Maybe…" Temari said, eyes going all shifty. "For you guys maybe. Not me though, as long as there's no drunk driving going on," she shot a pointed and slightly sympathetic glance at Naruto, "it's legal for me."

"We care why?" Kiba asked. "You share anyway."

"Not today," Temari shot back. Her eyes were narrowed. Sasuke noted she was no longer smirking, she was _roasting_.

"You always share. You owe it to us."

"But it's unethical--" Temari started.

"Unethical my ass!" Kiba said loudly. The girls who had been fighting over the sauce on the pizza fell completely silent. Kiba gulped and continued in a hoarse whisper. "Oh please! You with your morals. Where did you get them?"

"EBay," Temari said shortly.

"So return them," Kiba shot back. "Or else I'll tell Shikamaru about that time down in Ame--"

"You wouldn't!" Temari shouted. The sauce-girls stopped fighting and raised synchronized eyebrows. Shikamaru looked slightly mortified. Kiba smirked. Temari shook her head in annoyance and twirled her third pigtail. "Fine. What did you guys want?"

Sasuke tried very hard not to ask for the most intoxicating drink there was. Because drugging minors is wrong, even if you're a minor yourself.

Fuck you, EBay.

* * *

"Neji can't hold his liquor!" Naruto taunted.

"You can't hold your liquor either," Sasuke observed. Naruto stuck out his tongue and promptly collapsed on the hotel bed. Once again they were sharing one hotel room. This time, it was merely due to cost. If it wasn't for Kiba passing out curled up in an armchair, they'd have had some serious space issues.

"What happened in Ame-wherever?" Shikamaru asked Temari as they were attempting unsuccessfully to get the girl to fall asleep. She was, for some reason, still clinging to her EBay theory, and was decidedly sober. However, Shikamaru and Gaara realized a very important decree for the Road Trip Religious Scripture: 'Thou Shall Not Give Temari Coffee in the Middle of the Day'. It went right next to 'Thou Shall Not Give Temari Alcohol if She Calls Thee Any Name Besides Thy Own' and 'Though Shall Not Give Neji Alcohol In Any Quantity, Ever'.

Because Neji can't hold his liquor worth jack.

It was Gaara who ended up making sure Neji didn't throw up on the floor. '_The maids don't deserve that,_' he thought vaguely. It was true, they worked very hard, and maids are so rarely appreciated. '_Remind me to tip,_' Gaara had thought, pausing to read the 'hello my name is' maid card, '_Maria._' So Gaara had held Neji long, black hair, '_very soft,_' as the older boy emptied his stomach into the toilet. '_Yup…Thou Shall Not Give Neji Alcohol In Any Quantity, Ever._'

The next morning was about as different from the rest of the mornings as one could get. Temari, oddly was incredibely bright and cheerful. This was because she hadn't slept at all, and therefore hadn't been woken up. Of course, she passed out twice while eating her cereal, so that wasn't all that great a plan.

Sasuke and Naruto were both sore from trying to squeeze comfortably onto a pull-out bed shoved into a corner of the miniscule kitchen. Naruto had a painful looking violet bruise on his right cheek, and no one asked him to elaborate, seeing as they had already pretty much put it all together.

Neji was hating the morning. When Gaara pulled the covers away from his face, the pale eyed boy had rolled over, his white eyes burning from the light. When he was finally up, he was more lethargic than Shikamaru. Shikamaru looked a little put out at this new development. He had muttered some obscenity about some unknown force, and promptly followed Temari face first into his cereal. Milk sloshed onto the carpet and the linoleum, Froot Loops flew everywhere, and Kiba's Salami-and-Cheese Toast went flying, Salami-and-Cheese side down.

Gaara groaned. '_I'll have to tip Maria extra._' He suddenly felt sorry for the maid that would have to clean up after EBay.

* * *

**If you caught it, my author insert (of dear, I'll probably show up again in a Dairy Queen or wherever) I'm the girl who doesn't like sauce on my pizza.**


	12. Day 12: Eire

**Don't own Naruto or Malawi (or Tupac's 'Changes') **

Oh my god, Temari can RAP. Hey…so can I. I'm the best white female rapper in my school. I'm the ONLY white female rapper in my school. Anyway, there's another author insert…here, we'll play the author insert game. Guess which totally random unnamed person mentioned is me!

* * *

Sabaku Temari slept soundly on the floor of Murphy. She was sprawled out, arms flailed everywhere, and thoroughly taking up most of the room in the car. She snored lightly, and rolled over, latching onto Shikamaru's ankle and refusing to let go. Shikamaru determined trying to pry her off would be troublesome if she didn't wake up, dangerous if she did.

"Next time, she should get more sleep," Naruto observed. "She looks tired."

Sasuke rolled his eyes at the sheer understatement. "Shikamaru, are you keeping down a list of Road Trip Decrees?" Shikamaru shrugged and nodded.

"It was troublesome to write, but it's more troublesome when we break them."

"What do we have so far?" Sasuke asked drolly. Shikamaru rifled around in the hidden compartment under the drivers seat and pulled out a tattered piece of paper that had been obviously folded and refolded many times.

"Thou Shall Not Give Temari Coffee In The Middle Of The Day; Thou Shall Not Give Temari Alcohol If She Calls Thee Any Name Besides Thy Own; Thou Shall Not Give Neji Alcohol In Any Quantity, Ever," Shikamaru paused to deflect the razor glares Neji was shooting at him, "Thou Shall Never Ask Sasuke About His Home Life Past Or Present; Thou Shall Never Threaten To Drive Drunk; Thou Shall Not Mention The Circumstances Surrounding Gaara And Temari's Mother's Death. Anymore I missed?"

"Thou Shall Never Allow Naruto To Eat Ice Cream Cones," Sasuke suggested, but Naruto shot him a bemused glare and Shikamaru actually made the effort to raise an eyebrow. "Or not." Temari, who was partially roused from her sleep, cocked an eyebrow at Sasuke and winked before sitting up and rubbing her eyes. She stretched and leaned against Shikamaru.

"What's wrong with ice cream?" Naruto asked innocently. Sasuke shrunk back and ignored the question. Shikamaru raised one eyebrow and Gaara stared forward at the unchanging scenery of what he was pretty sure was Ohio, but he had lost track after the fifth hour.

"Where are we staying?" Neji asked from under his blankets. He was looking worse than usual, even by Sasuke's standards, and he had seen Temari in the morning back when she first started her drinking habit. It had been pretty gnarly. She was just angry.

"Eire," Gaara replied flatly. "Neji, how you feeling?"

"Like I've been shot."

"You have no idea what it's like to be shot," Kiba said. "You just avoid the streets like the plague. You probably think Tupac is a couple of bags," he added with a smirk. Neji shot him a slightly confused look.

"Who actually knows any of that? I mean, I'm sure you will just to prove a point, but no one else."

"I'm sure someone can," Gaara said with what sounded like a smirk.

"Tupac? I bet you no one but Kiba actually listens to rap. I'll throw in dinner if anyone can actually recite any of it," Neji challenged. Gaara just smiled and jerked his head in the back seat.

"Give the crack to the kids who the hell cares? One less hungry mouth on the welfare. First ship 'em dope and let 'em deal the brothers. Give 'em guns, step back, and watch 'em kill each other. 'It's time to fight back', that's what Huey said. 2 shots in the dark now Huey's dead. I got love for my brother, but we can never go nowhere unless we share with each other. We gotta start makin' changes. Learn to see me as a brother 'stead of 2 distant strangers. And that's how it's supposed to be. How can the Devil take a brother if he's close to me? I'd love to go back to when we played as kids, but things change, and that's the way it is."

"Oh my god, Temari can rap."

"I see no changes. All I see is racist faces, misplaced hate makes disgrace for races we under. I wonder what it takes to make this one better place...let's erase the wasted," Temari finished. "You owe my brother dinner."

"Oh my god…alcoholic and a Tupac junkie," Kiba said incredulously. "Why was I not informed?"

"Because no one ever asked. What did you think I listened to?"

"Pop?"

"Rap, punk, country," Temari corrected. "Pop is for wimps. Can't a brother get a little peace? Oh, and Neji, you owe him ten bucks too, since I listen to it." She grinned at Neji, who just rolled his pupil-less eyes in annoyance and fished around in his pocket to hand Gaara a ten dollar bill.

"I hate you Temari."

"And I ain't never did a crime I ain't have to do."

"You can stop now."

"And that's just the way it is…"

* * *

"Have fun you two!" Temari shouted, waving as Neji and Gaara walked away from her. The two boys shied away from the red-head's explosive rapping sister. "Don't fuck on the first date!" Gaara scrambled away. They were just going down to the restaurant on the bottom floor, it wasn't like they were going to get lost. 

"Your sister--"

"Is scary," Gaara finished. "I know. I lived with her for seventeen years."

"I didn't," Neji muttered. Gaara grinned.

"I know."

"She should stop talking like that though, people will get the wrong idea about us, I mean, you know, what she said, the people in the hallway gave us this look…" Neji trailed off. Gaara looked behind his shoulder and shrugged.

"We're a thousand miles from anyone who knows us. Why does it matter what Temari says?" Gaara hit the button for the elevator. "What's up with you? You're being uncharacteristically docile, and man, it's annoying me as much as Naruto with grape juice. In Murphy. Except…you're not purple."

"Purple?" Neji decided not to push it. The elevator doors swung open and several people filed out.

A few more were still in the elevator, and seeing as they were going down many, many floors, they would be stuck with these people for a while. One of them shot Neji and Gaara a nasty look. Gaara, who picked up on it quickly, smiled one of those sadistic little smiles. Eyes still locked on the person, an tall woman dressed in a black fur coat, he slipped an arm around Neji's waist and walked into the elevator.

The glare intensified. Neji raised a subtle eyebrow at Gaara, who was engaged in a staring contest with the tall woman. She kept shooting Neji these looks, and Gaara didn't like that. Not one little bit. '_No one, no one, looks at Neji like that,_' the teenager seethed. '_No one looks at my friends like trash and gets away with it. Remind me to run her down in Murphy later. Not kill her. Just break her face._'

"Lesbians are so stupid because--" Gaara tensed at the words streaming from the tall woman's mouth. So did the dark-brown haired girl next to her. Who looked about ready to stab the woman. A slightly taller girl beside her nonchalantly removed the rather pointy pen from behind the girl's ear and pocketed it.

Then, Gaara snapped.

He practically tackled a rather surprised Neji, who squeaked. The woman looked over in disgust and made some comment that caused the girls behind her to give her roasting glares unseen by said woman. Gaara rested his forehead on Neji's, close enough for their noses to brush together.

"What are you doing?" Neji asked in a low whisper. Gaara glanced up at the woman from the place he sat on the floor of the elevator. She looked about ready to puke. The girl behind her, the one with the pen, was slowly reaching for her pen.

"I'm not sure," Gaara hissed back. "I'm pretty sure I'm going to kiss you."

"To piss her off?" Neji asked, somewhat put out. Gaara shrugged.

"Partially. Mostly I'm using it as an excuse." Gaara leaned closer to his friend and their lips connected gently. When Gaara pulled back, Neji was blushing frantically and Gaara was smirking. The look on the tall woman's face was a strange mix of hatred and disgust.

"Katherine, are you okay?" the dark-haired girl in the elevator asked. She shot Gaara a look of absolute worship.

"I just don't want to have to share my elevator with these sort of creat--"

"Your elevator?" Gaara asked with a humorless laugh. "And since when are we less than human?" The look Gaara was giving the tall woman was so scathing that he could almost imagine the flesh peeling off her face and puddling on the ugly maroon carpet. The doors clicked open and the tall woman sashayed out. The dark haired girl let her get ahead before slipping an arm around the waist of her friend, who looked a little too much like the tall woman. Then she shot a grin at Neji and Gaara and flipped off the receding back of the tall woman.

"What was that?" Neji asked. He had pressed himself against the side of the elevator and stared at Gaara, white eyes wide. "I mean…you…"

"Kissed you? I did, didn't I?" He smiled a small smirk. "So, you ready for dinner?"

"You…kissed me…" Neji ghosted his fingers over his lips. Gaara raised one invisible eyebrow. '_Did I really freak him out that bad?_' he wondered.

"I can do it again, you know. Let's go already, I'm hungry." Gaara prodded Neji's upper arm and fixed his slightly lopsided ponytail. Neji stared at him. It was sort of like the stare a deer might stare when it's under extreme stress: its mother pulled a Bambi, its father forgot to pay child support, its now working two jobs, and the Mac truck is coming.

"Dinner…okay…"

And EBay just bought out the forest.

* * *

"What are they doing?" Temari demanded from behind the potted plant. "He better not be hurting my brother. Kankuro, what the hell do guys do on dates?" 

"I thought you said it wasn't a date," Kankuro reminded her. Indeed, Temari was clutching her cell phone, volume on high, everyone crowded around trying to listen. "It was just a bet. I mean, if you weren't so obsessed with Tupac, we wouldn't even be having this conversation, and I could be doing something productive! It's only four here. I have a life."

"Yeah right," Kiba said with a snort.

"Shut up Dog-Boy."

"At least I have a life!" Kiba protested.

"Yeah, it revolves around smelly dogs and porn," Kankuro countered. Even though Kankuro couldn't see him, Kiba shrugged anyway.

"It's a good life."

"You know…you're right."

"I knew that stash of Asian Fetish videos wasn't Gaara's!" Temari hissed. "You're a dirty, dirty liar Kankuro, a dirty, dirty liar!" She checked the surrounding area from behind the potted plant. Kiba perked up.

"Asian fetish?"

"Yeah…I have some of the best from 1981. Good year, good--"  
"Too much information!" Naruto cried. He winced, realizing how loud he could be. "Too much information."  
"Aw Naru-chan," Temari scolded playfully. "We know you like the Asian Boys…especially the Fan ones." Sasuke was eternally boiling at Temari and eternally grateful that Naruto didn't pay attention in class. '_Please let him not know what an uchiwa is…_' Naruto didn't even hear the last bit.

"I'm not gay!" he protested.

"Sure you aren't."

"I'm not."

"Sasuke is," Temari said drolly.

"Your gaydar is broken," Sasuke protested weakly. Temari shrugged, then grinned.

"Well then, I never though Naruto was gay to begin with, and since he just said he wasn't, but I said you were and you're not, so my gaydar is off, which means Naruto really _is_ gay."

"Flaw in reasoning," Shikamaru said. "Not all events are isolated."

"Whatever," Temari said.

"You know, you guys are cute together," Kankuro said. The sound of Asian Fetish videos played in the background. Temari hung up. She turned her attention back to Gaara and Neji. She watched them talk. She noticed Neji blushing. She noticed Gaara blushing.

"Can we leave now?" Naruto whined.

Temari shook her head. "Oh no…no no…no…" she growled. "I refuse to leave them alone for one sec-- hey! Put me down!"

* * *

**In case anyone got it: I'm the girl in the elevator. Katherine is actually my friend (the one in the elevator)'s mom, and she really would say those sorts of things. The lesbian comment is an actual quote. My friend Caitlin took a butter knife and a palm pilot stylus away from me instead of a pen though.**

**Read and review loves! **

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	13. Day 13: New York

**She doesn't own Naruto…or Bosnia! (But if she did, she'd have made some changes, to both Naruto and Bosnia). **

Another author insert appears somewhere in this chapter…guess which totally unnamed character is me.

* * *

Neji couldn't stop blushing. He faced the window to hide it, seeing as it was painfully obvious on his white face, but unfortunately the reflection in the glass was like a mirror. Lights flashed past them as they drove. They hadn't stayed in Eire, seeing as the tall woman in the elevator had filed a complaint, which led to a shouting match, which led to Temari using terms that would make Fifty Cent blush, which led to the seven of them getting kicked out of the hotel. Gaara just opted to drive straight through to New York City, just to save time and energy.

It was well past midnight. Sasuke lay spooned against Naruto, trying desperately to fall asleep. He was failing miserably. Half of him wanted to sleep, really he did, but half of his just wanted to lay there, awake.

"Bastard…your eyes are burning holes into the back of my head." Sasuke blanched. '_He was awake?_' his inner voice demanded. '_Quick, Road Trip Evasive Maneuver number one forty nine: pretend you are asleep until further notice._' Sasuke pretended to snore. "I've shared a room with you for the past two weeks. You don't snore."

"Damn…" Sasuke sighed and Naruto turned to face him, the blond boy propping himself up on one elbow. "It was such a good plan too."

"Smooth Sasuke. So…what's keeping you up? It has to be past midnight--"

"One oh seven," Gaara corrected.

"It's one oh seven," Naruto continued, "why are you still awake?"

"I could ask you the same question Uzamaki."

"I asked first," Naruto protested.

"How about I tell you why I'm awake, and then we can go from there?" Gaara suggested sarcastically. "Your incessant bickering is beginning to try my last nerve. Stop _kicking_ the side of my van."

Naruto was about to remind Gaara is was technically Shikamaru's van, but the scalding glare made him think twice. Three times, actually. "So Sasuke…what's got you up at this obscenely early hour?"

"Afraid to go to sleep," Sasuke muttered as he checked to make sure everyone in hearing distance, that is to say everyone in Murphy, was asleep.

"Still?" Naruto asked quietly. "Nightmares not getting any better?" He looked genuinely concerned. Sasuke nestled against the side of the van, the cold aluminum biting into his skin with frigid teeth. The dark haired boy nodded, curling up into a tight circle. He didn't want to admit it, but he was still afraid of the night. The nightmares still plagued him, and despite waking up beside his best friend in the early hours of the morning, he was still afraid to go to sleep at night.

"Just a little," Sasuke murmured. Naruto shuffled forward on his hands and knees to lay next to Sasuke.

"You know I won't let anything happen to you. Can I help at all?"

Sasuke shrugged his shoulders lightly. "Maybe. I don't know. I haven't tried." His words came in short spills. "Why are you up."

"I knew you were. I couldn't stand wondering if you were okay," Naruto admitted. "I can't have my closest friend hurting while I'm asleep, now can I?" He swished a couple of strands of black hair out of Sasuke's pale face.

"No," Sasuke murmured, sitting up and leaning against the side of the van. "You couldn't." He leaned forward, pressing his forehead against Naruto's chest in a sort of 'I'm tired' gesture. Naruto blinked a few times and smoothed down Sasuke's hair with one hand.

"We should sleep now. We'll be in New York in the morning, and we'll see all the cool stuff!" Naruto assured his friend. "Now come on, before we have to drug you to sleep. Temari has enough stocked up to keep you asleep until Gatlinburg."

"Ask her if I can borrow some."

"You want to be the one who wakes up the freaky hormonal lush rapper? Be my guest," Naruto said with a laugh that was just a little drier than usual. Sasuke blanched at the other boy's tone, but didn't respond to it.

"I'd rather not wake up and feel like Neji," he agreed. "But…stay with me?"

"Where would I go? The van's tiny," Naruto pointed out.

"I mean…stay with me…" Sasuke muttered. Naruto blinked a few times and inched timidly closer to his friend.

"Okay," he acquiesced. He wrapped a stray arm around Sasuke, who in turn nestled his face in the crook of Naruto's neck. "Gaara has that creepy look in his eye that means we're going to be in New York sometime soon. I'm tired. Don't keep drilling into my skull with that creepy look of yours, ne?"

"Alright."

"Good night."

"Good night."

"Shut up before you wake my sister. I can't stand another Tupac song."

Silence.

* * *

Sasuke woke up feeling thoroughly disgusting. His usual nightmare had been replaced by choking blackness, so he was already on a crappy start, but he felt much fouler than usual anyway. His throat was dry, his eyes ached and begged to shut. His breathing was thoroughly ragged and his heart seemed to be pumping excessive amounts of blood into his face. 

"Are you _okay_?" Naruto asked, pushing a hand against Sasuke's cheek. "Why is your face so hot? Are you sick?" Sasuke shrugged weakly. Naruto bit his lip and felt around in the dark until his hands closed around a hard, plastic object. He pushed a button on the side of the tube and a beam of light flicked over Sasuke's face, which was drastically paler than usual. "Gaara, Sasuke looks really sick."

"Are you ?" Naruto asked, pushing a hand against Sasuke's cheek. "Why is your face so hot? Are you sick?" Sasuke shrugged weakly. Naruto bit his lip and felt around in the dark until his hands closed around a hard, plastic object. He pushed a button on the side of the tube and a beam of light flicked over Sasuke's face, which was drastically paler than usual. "Gaara, Sasuke looks really sick." 

"Wake up Temari. She can take care of it."

Naruto crawled over the floor and shook Temari away. "Tema-chan," he whispered. "Temari, wake up." Temari's eyes drifted open, but as soon as she saw it was still dark, she was up like a shot. Sasuke could hear her shuffling over to him, pressing a cold hand to his face, muttering a few words to Naruto.

"Sasuke, are you feeling sick at all?" Temari asked. Her voice didn't even sound a little groggy. "Can you sit up? Do you feel dizzy? Are you seeing colors that weren't there a couple minutes before?" Temari's questions came rapid fire.

"Sitting up yea, dizzy yeah, colors no," Sasuke informed her flatly and quickly. "Why?"

"You have a fever. Can you swallow?"

"It hurts," Sasuke mumbled.

Temari shook her head somberly. "You're pretty sick, Sasuke. You should probably get some rest. We're going to be in New York a couple of days, so no worries, you'll still get to see the city. Shut your eyes and go back to sleep," she ordered. Sasuke nodded and shut his eyes. He did not, however, shut his ears.

"Naruto," Temari said, "he's got a fever…probably the flu. He's going to have to stay in the hotel tomorrow."

"I'll stay with him," Naruto volunteered. "If I can play the video games and watch the pay-per-view movies." Sasuke heard Temari sigh and in his mind's eye he could see her waving Naruto off and falling back to the floor of the van and curling up beside Shikamaru.

Sasuke opened one eye when he felt Naruto lay down beside him. "Still awake?" the blond boy asked. "I can tell when you're awake."

"Still awake," Sasuke croaked.

"You heard Temari then. She said sleep. I know I won't sleep until you do…inconsiderate bastard…" he growled. "You want a blanket?" Sasuke nodded. With a smirk, Naruto stole Temari's blanket. She didn't even notice, she just rolled over and snuggled under Shikamaru's blanket. "Here you go Sasuke." Naruto cast a blanket over the two of them. "Night."

"Night," Sasuke muttered, his voice ragged from his tortured throat. "Wait…Naruto?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you really spend all night in a hotel room with me?"

"Of course."

"Both of you…your incessant rambling is going to wake up my sister, and when she wakes up, there will be blood, and there will be death. So be quiet right now, or I'll make you walk the rest of the way to New York in the dark. With the hobos."

Silence.

* * *

"I don't care, he was offensive!" 

"Hey, Tupac uses the N word, so that bellboy wasn't _that_ offensive."

"Tupac is BLACK! HE'S A BLACK RAPPER! He can say that! However, people cannot make comments about gay people in a manner such as that bellboy did and get away with it, unless they themselves are gay, in which case the language changes and certain words are acceptable. However, the way that bellboy said it, I think he has a girlfriend or nine. Not only that, he pushed me."

"He what?" The manager of the hotel cast Temari a worried glance.

"Yes, I'm sure I twisted my back…"

"How badly?"

"I'm growing faint…"

"Oh dear…how faint?"

"Faint enough to sue your ass if you don't comp our stay."

Naruto bounced into the room and practically shrieked. "This is SO FRICKEN COOL!" he shouted at the top of his lungs. He leapt onto the bed and rolled around on it a couple of times before promptly falling off. "Oh sorry, didn't mean to shout that loud" he said sheepishly. Sasuke shrugged and crawled onto his bed.

"What's there to watch?" the dark haired boy asked.

"Not sure," Naruto replied as he checked the TV guide card. He turned on the television and flicked to channel thirty eight. There was some cartoon on, which Naruto had never seen before, but tolerated anyway since someone fell off a building.

"We'll be back around six, Gaara wants to go donate time to the homeless shelter," Temari called as she poked her head through the connecting door. "We'll check in when we get back, alright?" Naruto nodded and the blonde girl shut the door with a slight slam. The blond boy turned his attention to Sasuke.

"Did you want food? Temari said I could call room service."

"I'm starved, now that I think about it."

"Okay!" Naruto said brightly. He consulted the room service card that was sitting on the nightstand. His azure eyes flickered over it a few times before he turned smirking to the phone and picked it up and hitting 0 for room service.

Twenty minutes later, Sasuke was confronted with the most food he had seen in one place in a very long time. There was a bowl of fettuccine, a pitcher of lemonade, a bottle of wine (though Temari had purchased that earlier and instructed Naruto to drug Sasuke if need be), a platter of cheese, two salads, a massive chicken, nine plates of sushi and six or seven bowls of ramen. The waitress was being followed mercilessly by a chunky brown-haired girl who kepted eyeing the fettuccine. Natuto eventually just handed her the pasta. She ran away, laughing maniacally. Sasuke stared at her running back, then at all the food.

"Loser…why did you order all of this?"

"They're only comping our stay one night. Might as well stock up on free food. You hungry?" Naruto handed Sasuke one of the heaping salads. Sasuke eyed it and took a bite carefully, chewing slowly and eyeing his friend.

"I don't feel too good," he said.

"You haven't eaten though," Naruto argued. "Just eat a little bit, then take a nap. You want to feel better for tomorrow, right?" Sasuke nodded. "Alright, then do that. Drink water too. Temari said it makes you feel better."

Sasuke nodded, acquiescing and taking another bite of salad. He ended up finishing it and curling up quietly under his covers. "Thank you for staying."

"No problem. It's just New York. There's always tomorrow. So, you going to take a nap, or do I need to read you a bedtime story first?"

"Is it the story about the little blond boy who tries to fly out the window?"

"Nope, it's the one about the blond boy who drugs his stubborn friend because he's engaging in unhealthy activity. So unless you want to hear that story, I suggest you go to sleep and let me get back to Grand Theft Auto."

"Temari says that has a despicable way of portraying women as sex objects."

"Fine. I'll play Mario Brothers."

"Temari says Mario's accent is culturally offensive."

"Eminem and Fifty Cent, Rapper Show Down?"

"Temari says Eminem is a women hating homophobe."

"Scoot over. I'm going to lay their until you fall asleep and then I'm going to play every one of those video games until six o' clock PM in the evening, because I don't give a damn what Temari says."

* * *

**I was the chick following the waitress.**

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	14. Day 14: New York

**She doesn't own Naruto…or Suriname (Cookies to whoever can find the author insert and tell me where Suriname is. From here on out, we have the geography question and the Author Insert question to all remaining chapters, just to save me A/N room. :lazy:).**

**Also, it's the two week mark, which marks the half way point! Thanks for all the reviews, my lovlies!

* * *

**

When Sasuke woke up, he actually felt a lot better. Tired, yes, but infinitely better. He sat up, shaking his hair out, and shook Naruto awake. '_Wait…Naruto?_' the blond boy was still sleeping beside him. '_So much for playing video games behind Temari's back._'

"WAKE UP!" shouted the voice that Sasuke presumed had woken him up. "Are you guys awake yet? Spare the maids, the shower is so much easier to clean--" Temari, who had wandered into the room, was attacked mid-sentence by a fairly well thrown pillow from a still-slightly asleep Naruto. "Ow…damn! Hey, Sasuke, you're up. You well enough to come with us? Teehee, I said come…"

"You're drunk, aren't you?"

"Not really," Temari replied. "I had a half a beer. I just thought I could get away with making a crack like that, since we all know you and--"

"Don't say it!" Naruto shouted from under the covers. "Don't say a word, Temari Sabaku, or I swear, all of your one nights stands will come spilling out, type 72, comic sans, all over your college campus."

"What one night stands?" Kiba asked from behind her.

"Whatever. You don't have proof. I do, however, have pictures of you and Sasuke getting _close_, so even if its not true, those dumb high schoolers will believe all of it."

"You wouldn't."

"I would."

"I'm not dumb!"

"Inuzuka, find the value of X if X divided by negative eight equals six."

"You're right…high schoolers are dumb…"

"Told you Inuzuka! TOLD YOU! It's negative forty-eight, by the way."

"I hate you."

"I know. I love you anyway."

"HEY! Hinata and I are--"

"God…you're denser than Naruto!"

"I resent that--"

"I'm sure you d--"

"What's that sup--"

"Oh you know what it me--"

"Shut the fu--"

"Don't use that tone--"

"Le gasp, is my language interfering with your EBay moral--"

"Shut up before I make you all walk to Times Square."

Silence.

* * *

Neji stared around Times Square with a feeling akin to awe. "Wow…" he muttered. "It's nice." 

"Nice? Well that's specific. We could be talking about mints too, those are nice. I like mints," Kiba said. Neji glared and rolled his eyes.

"I don't know what my cousin sees in you, Inuzuka."

"Oh, up yours."

"I'm sure Gaara's got that covered," Temari said with a laugh. Neji looked mortified. Temari rolled her eyes and gave Neji a playful shove. "Oh, you know I don't mean it any more than I mean it about Naruto and Sasuke. Which, come to think of it, is quite a bit."

"Oh be quiet," Gaara scolded. He fished around in his pocket and dragged Neji off to drop a few dollar bills in the hat of the man on the corner. The man looked up wearily from his post, staring over the street corners. He nodded to Gaara and smiled a smile full of crooked teeth, yellowed with age and lack of care.

"Thank you kindly," he croaked. A teenage girl passed him and dropped a ten dollar bill his hat. He smiled at her, and she smiled back. Despite her friend's pleading looks, the girl sat beside the man on the corner and struck up a conversation with him. Gaara blinked at the girl, who looked oddly familiar, and walked back towards Neji to see how quickly he could make the white-eyed boy blush.

"Hey Neji," Gaara hissed in said boy's ear. Neji jumped, turning quickly, his eyes suddenly guarded. He relaxed, but he didn't seem to drop the look of shock. "Afraid of a little city? No one hear gets to touch you but me." He laughed almost humorlessly. "Just kidding Hyuuga, you don't need to look like someone ran you over with a truck. Unless, of course, I do this." Gaara smirked and pushed Neji against a strangely convenient wall.

"Gaara…what if someone sees?" Neji asked nervously. Gaara shrugged.

"What if they do see. I'll stop if you want me to stop, you know." Gaara pulled back. Neji shook his head in small circles and pulled Gaara back.

"No, wait, I didn't mean it like that, I just meant what if someone sees us and thinks--"

"Thinks what?"

"I don't know…"

"It's New York, 3000 fucking miles from anyone who knows us. So what if they think? What are they going to think? Is there a problem with what they might be thinking?" Gaara's kelly-green eyes searched Neji's face carefully. "Huh? Is there a problem with what they might be thinking?"

"No, no problem," Neji mumbled. "I still haven't gotten over…"

"I know, I know. I'm going to kill your Uncle when I get back though. We're not going to kick you out," Gaara said off handedly. He shrugged nonchalantly and pushed Neji back again into a surprisingly sturdy brick wall. "We promise."

Naruto was dazed. Sensory overload left him in a blur of colors and sounds, his blue eyes wide and spinning. He managed to latch on to Sasuke's arm and hold the raven tightly, his little blond head going around and around and around and around in infinite circles, around and around, the blue-eyed boy dazed by lights.

Sasuke let Naruto's hand go for a second. Just one second. The instant their hands disconnected, Sasuke _knew_ he had made a mistake. He turned to see Naruto disappearing back into the alley. Sasuke chased after him and found him conversing with a man dressed in a black trench coat and thin black glasses. Sasuke sighed and dragged the boy away from the shady looking people in the one corner of the alley. People in alleys in large metropolitan areas with trench coats, dark glasses, big ugly hats and shifty eyes (if you can see them) generally don't have your best interests at heart. In fact, if they're holding that little packet filled with white crystals, you know for sure they're not.

Sea Monkeys are the Devil.

Kiba hated pushing. He really did. And pushing a beat up van through times square was not helping. Granted, in exchange for a sandwich, Gaara had convinced the homeless guy to help. The dark-haired girl and her friend helped too, and a tall woman who Gaara got the oddest hate vibes from kept shooting the whole party murderous looks. The brown haired girl was enjoying that. A lot. 

Gaara was a firm believer in the Sea Monkeys-are-the-Devil philosophy. Thirty minutes after disappearing into an alley with his supposed friend, he returned to his van to see his worst nightmare alive. "You HAD to get them. It couldn't be a puppy, it couldn't be a kitty, it had to be them. I can just pin the picking up of the shit on you. Oh sure. But you had them INSTALLED IN MY VAN?! _IN MY VAN?! _What were you thinking? They live, they die, they rot, and then they come _back_. What on earth possessed you to get them?" Gaara stared at Naruto with horror stricken eyes. "In. My. Dashboard. Do you know how much this will cost to get rid of them?"

"But they're cute! Gaara, look, it's waving…" Temari crooned. She leaned on the dashboard and prodded the glass behind which there were Sea Monkeys. They whirled and twirled and played in fromnt of the Plexiglas.

Kiba scrutinized it carefully, looking over the tank of Sea Monkeys carefully to see just what kinds of creatures they were. "Why are they red? With little horns on their head…Temari…I don't think its waving…"

* * *

They were driving. Again. They had to make Washington by midnight, and it wasn't that far really, the way Gaara drove. Naruto amused himself watching Kiba play with Lee. Gaara kept smiling sadistically to himself. He couldn't wait until they reached Gatlinburg and could finally get rid of the creature. '_Away, away, away,_' he chanted. '_Soon you will be gone, be gone, be gone…soon you will be gone._' His smile faded when he caught sight of the Sea Monkeys. '_I'll get you my pretties, and Kiba's dog too._' Granted, Kiba's dog was 3000 mils away, but that's not really the dog's fault. 

"Are we there yet?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke sighed. "No, Naruto, we are not there yet."

"Are we there yet?"

"No, Naruto, we're not there yet."

"Are we there yet?"

"No, Naruto, we're not there yet."

"Are we--"

"Naruto, you ask one more time and I will sic Lee on you. His youthfulness will smother your so-called happy. No one can compare to Lee's obsessive compulsive energetic power. He will crush you with his mighty fist of happy."

"You are aware Gai gave that as a present to TenTen, are you not?"

"TenTen?"

"Graduation present. Then she pawned it off to Sakura, who took a rather frightening liking to the creature."

"That would explain a lot. An ass lot," Kiba said offhandedly. Neji nodded and stared out the window at the lush landscape of the summer. It was beautiful, he notes dryly. Such a nonspecific adjective was beautiful. It was…stunning, evocative, mysterious. It made him want to write poetry. Neji Hyuuga didn't _write_ poetry. He barely even read the stuff. But the woods they drove through, despite the highway, made him want to become the next Walt Whitman.

They stopped at the Hershey's factory. Naruto made them take the tour. The blonde-headed boy stocked up on enough chocolate to last them back to Ventura; Temari managed to steal a security guard's beer ("What? He shouldn't have been drinking on the job anyway!"); Shikamaru managed to memorize the entire process for making chocolate ("What a troublesome skill…") ; Sasuke and Kiba argued the whole way over some trivial matter ("No way, blue is so much cooler than red…"); and Neji and Gaara were Neji and Gaara. Actually, Neji and Gaara disappeared into the bathroom and didn't go on the tour ("Mrph…!")

When they were back on the road, having parked ever-so-smartly on a hill, Shikamaru was asleep, Temari was bored, Neji was spacey, Kiba was angry, Gaara was pensive, Sasuke was quiet and Naruto was hyper.

Naruto chattered away in Sasuke's ear for some time. "Wasn't that _fun_?" he asked with a grin. "Oh come on you know it was ooh look a bird isn't it pretty outside Sasuke isn't it great it's the most awesome place I've ever seen it's so nice and all the trees bend and doesn't it make you want to paint a picture because it's the greatest--" Naruto's rambling was cut off by Sasuke pinning him down and holding a pillow over the blond boy's mouth.

"Silence Loser," Sasuke ordered. He realized then that he was straddling the boy's hips. '_Oh my god…I'm going to jump him. Temari won't like that,_' he thought. '_Must not jump him._' Sasuke fell promptly off Naruto and handed the blond boy the pillow dazedly.

"Are you okay Sasuke?" Naruto asked cautiously. "You're not getting sick again, are you?" Sasuke was caught between yes, no, and 'hot flashes'.

Sea Monkeys and Blonds are the Devil.

* * *

**Surprise surprise, I'm the chick who talked to the homeless guy. You know, from now on, I'm going to let you all guess and see if anyone gets it right and tell you next chapter (ooh, it's soooo hard). Ditto geography question...(Suriname is in northeastern South America, bordering Brazil, French Guiana, Guyana and the Atlantic Ocean).**

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	15. Day 15: Washington DC

**She doesn't own Naruto…or Seychelles! (Which is where? Come on…!) I lied actually, THIS chapter is technically the halfway point…actually, I think half way through 14 was the halfway point. This chapter goes to Lt. Commander Richie, 'cause she's like, t3h goddess and because she promised me fanart. Sorry its so short…I'm in a bit of a slump lately.

* * *

**

They arrived that night. Gaara pulled up in front of the motel and Kiba transported all their belongings up as fast as he could with the aid of a partially stolen partially borrowed luggage cart ("I asked…and he said no…but I asked.") They walked up the rickety outdoor stairs and surveyed the first room skeptically.

"The lights are out," Sasuke observed. "Why are all the lights out?"

"Because Gaara is cheap--" Kiba started.

Gaara interrupted him quickly with, "Of course I'm cheap, I have to be, because _someone_ knocked over a lamp and _someone else_ had to pay for the mess, and that same _someone _got sick on the carpet and that same _someone else_ had to clean it as best _someone else_ could and then felt the need to tip the maids. Now if _someone_ wasn't so careless, then maybe _someone else_ would have some money, and that _someone _and that _someone else_ and all their friends could stay in a place with light."

"Oh."

"Dark is nice."

* * *

The next morning they went to the Smithsonian. Shikamaru actually _wanted_ to get his lazy ass out of bed for that one, and Temari was more than happy to go with him. Gaara agreed finally because he had heard of some of the great dioramas portraying desert life. Naruto wanted to see all the stuffed animals. 

Sasuke went because he had to. It wasn't that he didn't want to go, but he couldn't _say_ that, he had to just pretend he didn't. Oh, but he really _did_ want to go. He would put up with Kiba's talking about wanting to the see the dead wolves, just to go to the stupid museum with Naruto. Hell, he put up with Temari's talking about wanting to examine the art of different cultures and their relationships to the different lines of latitude. '_Damn having an Anthropology Major as a friend._' Then, of course, she wanted to drag her notebook alone. '_Who is minoring in Creative Writing._'

"Oh my god, it's huge!" Naruto pointed excitedly at the huge bear in the Hall of Mammals. Sasuke sighed. Even at seventeen, Naruto sometimes acted like he was six. "That's so cool, isn't it Sasuke! Ooh look at that little bird. It's tiny…" Naruto examined the bird, suspended on a string behind Plexiglas with a look of awe.

"Very cool," Sasuke agreed. It was. Just watching Naruto be so happy, however, was cooler. The blond boy looked up wide-eyed at the mammal room for a few more seconds before rounding on Sasuke brightly.

"Let's go to the diorama room! I promised Gaara I'd meet him there." He grabbed Sasuke by the hand and started leading him down the hallway. Sasuke blushed and clutched Naruto's hand in return. It wasn't until it was too late, however, that he realized he was following Naruto in a huge museum with no directions in any way shape or form.

"We're lost, aren't we?" Sasuke asked dully. Naruto looked around.

"I thought I missed a turn," he said angrily to himself. "Um…there's a map over there." The blond boy wandered off. Sasuke chased after him quickly, not wanting to lose him again. '_It'll take us long enough to find the others,_' he muttered silently, mentally chiding his silliness. After digging around in his pockets for change, he came up with enough for a phone call. The two boys consulted the map that sat balanced on a guard rail and walked in the direction of the pay phones.

Temari's cell phone comes from California. That makes it a long distance call. Sasuke, however, had no where near that much change. "We could walk to the hotel and call them from there," Naruto suggested. It was a good three miles back to the hotel, but in Washington DC, they were _lucky_ it was that close.

The two boys trudged slowly across the street. They had managed to get directions from someone who worked at the museum, and were now walking 'left until you see the little crack in the sidewalk that looks a little like the Washington Memorial, only with a bigger spike…'. Naruto consulted the cracks and turned 'right until you see the building with the face on it'. Naruto found the face, and Sasuke was suddenly happy Naruto was good at finding patterns in cracks.

It was cold. Winter in Washington is very cold. Naruto and Sasuke rounded 'the street corner with the broken trashcan on it' and walked 'about the length of time it takes to sing a punk song'. By this time, Sasuke wished he had just taken Map Quest. They reached the hotel hot and sweaty.

"Next time, find out where you're going," Sasuke chided. Naruto sighed mournfully.

"My fault again, I know," he muttered. He dug around in his pocket for the key and slid it in. He barely reached the couch before collapsing on it. He raised one hand quickly. "I call shower!" he shouted, suddenly full of energy. Sasuke blinked. The blond boy had gone through that process so quickly, Sasuke had entirely missed it. Sasuke had decided he hated Gaara and his stupid rooming habits. Usually there had been a separate bathroom. Now, however, there just a shower with a shower curtain, and the shower was totally exposed to the world except for said shower curtain. Hey, it wouldn't fit in the bathroom, which was four by three .

Naruto was fast. He showered quickly, lathering shampoo into his puffy hair and body wash over his body quickly before stepping out of the shower and onto the bath mat. He wrapped himself up in a white towel and had his hair dry with the complimentary hair dryer in less than ten minutes.

Sasuke blinked. He sat on his hands. He shook his head over and over again. A lot. Finally, when Naruto emerged from a cloud of steam, Sasuke was into the shower in a flash. A flash that marked the last fleeting bit of self-control left in him before he grabbed Naruto and screwed what little brains he had left out his ears.

Water slithered over Sasuke in rivets. '_Oh my god…what am I going to do?_' he couldn't go on like this. People couldn't survive like this. Being stuck in a series of hotel rooms with someone who showers in practically the same room as you watch TV was not on his list of feats to accomplish, and it was getting worse with each passing day. He lathered shampoo into his hair. '_What am I going to do?_'

When he had finished his shower, Sasuke blew his hair dry quickly and wrapped himself in a towel as quickly as he could. Not fast enough though, because he heard one of those concerned little gasps from Naruto.

"Sasuke…what happened to your thighs?" Naruto asked. The blond boy was fully clothed by then, and Sasuke was grateful for that.

"Oh…um…" he trailed off and shuffled for his open suitcase, pulling on clothing as fast as he could. "Did you call Temari?" Naruto nodded.

"I did. But don't change the subject Sasuke. What happened to your legs? They're covered in scars." Naruto's blue eyes looked up innocently. "Can I see them." Sasuke blanched.

"Eh…let me get clothes on…" Sasuke muttered. '_If only that blond idiot had _any_ idea, _ANY_ idea what this sounds like…_' Sasuke trailed off. He did that a lot now. He slipped on a pair of pajama bottoms and a loose tee shirt on before sitting opposite Naruto on their bed. He yanked up the bottoms and exposed most of his thigh which was completely covered in little white scars.

"What happened?" Naruto asked. "Was it really that bad?"

"Yeah. It was really that bad." Sasuke stared at the back wall. Naruto reached forward, poking one of the little white lines gently. Sasuke flinched and suppressed a noise in the back of his throat. "Worse really. Scars on my body mean nada compared to scars everywhere else. Don't worry about it, I'm three thousand miles away. What can they do to me here? My brother's dead anyway."

"He did this?"

"Some of them. These." Sasuke prodded a thick, shallow scar. "Orochimaru did these." He pressed a palm against the deeper, thinner ones. "Just…forget it, okay?" Sasuke pushed Naruto onto his back. Water dripped over both of them, the leftovers of the crappy and very public shower, and soaked the sheets. '_We're going to have to sleep on that later,_' Sasuke groaned irritably.

"Why would anyone want to hurt _you_?" Naruto asked naively. "I mean, you're the greatest. I can see why someone would want to hurt someone like me, but not you."

"Like you?"

"Yeah…an idiot. An orphan. A que--" Naruto broke off, fidgeting. "I mean--"

"What did you mean?" Sasuke sat back, eyes scrutinizing Naruto carefully. "Come on, out with it." He resisted the urge to wiggle impatiently. That could cause a problem.

"Never mind," Naruto said, brushing him off physically and mentally. "Don't worry about it."

They watched the only station they got on television for the next three hours.

It was in Korean.

* * *

**You will find out where Seychelles is...next time. And where I appear (though it's kind of cheating, since I don't actually APPEAR).**

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	16. Day 16: Kentucky

**For anyone who cared, I was the one who gave the directions. Once in my hometown, I gave 'the paint spilled on the road that looks like a tree' as a landmark (Kudos to Tori, who knew where Seychelles was). Seychelles is an island republic in the Indian Ocean that contains four main islands and many islets. My author insert this chapter is painfully obvious. Painfully. And this authors note is long and this chapter is so very short...they'll get longer, once I can actually throw in some SasuNaru smut. Now that it's past the halfway point, I'm getting closer. This is supposed to be 28/29/30 chapters...you have time...lots and lots of time...**

**She doesn't own Naruto…or Lesotho.**

**

* * *

**

Kiba hated mornings. He also hated being stuck sleeping in a van. He hated it so much, that when his friends came storming down to go drive by a bit of Washington before making a beeline for Kentucky ("And the end of that goddamned Lizard!"), he locked them all out.

"Let us in Kiba!" Gaara shouted. The red-head reached for the keys. Before he found them though, he saw them dangling in front of his face. On the wrong side of the glass. "How the hell did you get those? I left them on the table!"

Kiba smirked and rolled down the window part way. "The lock on your door was broken."

"You can't go anywhere Kiba, the stupid van needs to be pushed," Temari pointed out dryly. Kiba smirked.

"I pushed it on a hill. Took half the night, but I pushed it. All I have to do is kick the break and I'm rolling."

"Fine then," Gaara said quietly. "But if you dare, dare touch that break, and dare, dare touch my van, I will break your neck in so many places when I get a hold of you. Your neck will go around two hundred and seventy degrees, counterclockwise." It was with that tone of voice that Kiba knew Gaara was in no way kidding. Not at all.

Kiba couldn't lose face now though. "How are you going to catch me?" he asked. Gaara smiled and stalled a few seconds before answering. Kiba raised one eyebrow at his friend's sudden slow manner.

"Got it!" Temari shouted. Kiba noticed she reappeared from somewhere, holding a blue wire. "We're not going to need to catch you. This car isn't going anywhere until I put this back. We'll starve you out…This is the siege of Murphy!"

And so They Laid Siege. It was a Long and Bloody Siege, and it was a Cruel Siege. Kiba had to Suffer at the Hands of the Others for Many Days and Many Nights. He grew Weary and had to resort to eating the Lizard to Keep Himself From Starvation.

Actually, Kiba caved after fifteen minutes. He couldn't _handle_ Gaara's staring and Temari's flashing of the bushes, her back turned to everyone. He knew she actually was flashing the bushes, because a pair of tourists across the street developed this horrified look and averted their eyes.

Kiba lunged from the van so fast it was just a blur. However, Temari and Gaara were faster. Temari quickly pulled down her shirt and Gaara grabbed Kiba by the scruff of the neck. Kiba looked up innocently at his 'friends'. This was a time for much apologizing. Much, _much_ apologizing.

Three hours later, Kiba was _still _tied to the roof of the van.

* * *

"KFC IS MURDER!" Temari shouted. Gaara and Kiba grabbed her by the hand and attempted to drag her in. "IdunwannagoIdunwannagoIdunwannago!" she screamed. When her feet crossed the threshold, she shot such a scathing look at the poster of the Colonel that Shikamaru wondered if it was physically possibly for a glare to crack glass. "I REFUSE TO EAT!" 

"Fine," said Gaara.

"KFC IS KENTUCKY FRIED CRUELTY!"

"You know, we are in Kentucky. Where else to eat it?" Kiba asked.

"CRU-EL-TY!" Temari chanted. Gaara sighed.

"Fine. We'll eat at Dairy Queen. Just stop traumatizing the poor cashier with your California Liberalism," he said vaguely. They walked back out the door and into the Motorized-Hippie-Like-Vehicle. They drove a couple blocks back to the dairy queen. Temari was thoroughly content, having stopped screaming about the tortures of modern society.

They pulled up in front of the Dairy Queen. Kiba was sent to guard the van and make sure no one touched it, as payback for locking everyone out and making them lay Siege on the Land of the Great Hippie-Related Vehicle Land.

"What did you want?" Gaara asked his friend. Kiba shrugged.

"Meat."

"It works." Gaara waved a hand dismissively and walked into the Dairy Queen. Shikamaru and Temari followed, followed in turn by Naruto and Sasuke. They ordered, Gaara tapping his fingers on the table in utter annoyance, and finally they sat down, still waiting. They could see Kiba staring intently at whatever was painted on the side of Murphy.

The six teenagers inside the restaurant could feel the stares. It was a bad idea in Kentucky, because it's Kentucky. If you were to take Homophobic HQ and multiply it to the Nth power times pi, you'd end up with Kentucky. A table away, a couple of teenage boys were pointing. Yes pointing, and they were ignoring the angry, angry teenage girl behind them

"Look over there, they're fa--,"

Wrong word. Slap. "You can't _SAY_ that! You're not allowed to _SAY_ that! You stupid," slap, "ignorant," slap, "hateful," slap, "bastards! And I dare to call you my Best Friend's Cousin! And his friends. Whatever. Suck it."

Gaara and Neji stared. Sasuke even stared. Naruto looked on in awe, and Temari was standing over by the girl, staring at _her_ in a slight trance.

"Oh, so that's why you dress like a guy and watch all those Lucy Liu moves, ne Chas? I always knew there was--" the teenage boy in the Yankees hat was cut off by Temari stomping on his foot very, very hard.

"So you're going to insult my friends? And then you're going to insult this nice girl for defending my friends? I should throw you in the KFC blender and _mash you to a pulp!_"

"You seen Audition?" the girl asked. Temari nodded. "Let's do that to them. Paralyze…"

"…needles into the chest…"

"…into the eyes…"

"…cut off their left foot…"

"…with a wire. They're related to my friend."

"Too bad. I'm Temari."

"Chas."

"You look familiar."

"I'm on a road trip."

"Same. Ventura and back by way of New York City."

"Eugene, the corner store down the street. We just decided to swing by New York City ourselves on the way."

"We went through Eugene. It's nice. Thanks again."

"Any time. They're fuckers, aren't you boys? Nasty, nasty little-- never mind. Well…I'll let you get back to your friends. Talk to you later Tema."

"See you around Chika."

* * *

"You okay?" Gaara asked. Naruto, Sasuke, and Kiba were all catching up on some sleep, so the car was fairly quiet. Not that Sasuke really added to the noise, but still. Neji looked up from his post at the window and turned his attention to Gaara. 

"Maybe. I don't know. It just seems…"

"Like your worst fears keep showing up. I know."

"I'm not sure how to deal with it," Neji admitted. Gaara shrugged.

"Just ignore them. They aren't important. Hate is ugly."

"I knew that."

"Don't let it get to you."

They drove. Eventually, the long, long drives just became one long, long blur. Kiba slept mostly. Shikamaru taught Temari how to be a better chess player. Sasuke and Naruto talked. They were the only people talking really, since Gaara was driving and Neji was staring out the window.

"Hey Naruto?" Sasuke asked carefully.

Naruto looked up. "Yeah?"

"Last night, you said people would want to hurt someone like you…what did you mean by that?" Sasuke's black eyes stared searchingly at Naruto. Naruto sighed.

"I'm almost as messed up as the people who are…messed up. I'm like, the poster child against all that is my guardian's sense of morals. I mean, for God's Sake, he goes to Church on Sundays and hits me over the head. With a book. No, it can't be metaphorical, it has to be literal bible thumping." Naruto shook his head miserably. "Book…book…"

"Why does he do that?"

"He doesn't like my friends."

"What's wrong with your friends?" Sasuke asked indignantly.

"Kiba's too loud, Shikamaru is too lazy, Gaara's too weird…and gay, Neji used to be mean…and he's gay, and Temari is a lush socially conscious white rapper…and her brother's gay."

"I see a common thread," Sasuke observed. "Any reasons he hates you specifically?"

Naruto looked up miserably, his blond hair plastered against his head. '_Even his hair looks defeated._' Sasuke mused. The blond boy sighed and shrugged. "According to him, I'm too loud, troublesome, weird, mean, outspoken and gay."

It took Sasuke fifteen minutes to recover from _that one.**

* * *

**_

**Okay...find Lesotho, the place in my disclaimer, and find my author insert (it's so obvious it's...painful. At least, I think it's obvious. Maybe not.) **

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	17. Day 17: Gatlinburg

**Yes, I was Chas (in my former town, teenage girls called each other 'Chika' a lot, so that's why Temari called me/Chas Chika, if you wondered…probably not.) Lesotho is a country that is surrounded on all sides by South Africa.**

**She doesn't own Naruto…or Eritrea.

* * *

**

"I'm going to miss the little guy…"

"Really?"

"No." Gaara grinned as he turned off the highway. "Alright…where the hell is Maple? I don't see Maple…" he glanced at the address again, "We'll just have to drive around a little bit until we find it. It's just a suburb outside Gatlinburg…how big can it be?" Gaara swerved down Oleander Street. Temari sighed.. It's a little known fact that even guys, no matter how gay or feminine, will not ask directions.

Two hours passed. "Hey you guys, I have one for the Nondenominational Road Trip Religious Scripture!" Temari shouted over the commotion.

"I think we should try Death and Destruction Ave-- what is it Temari?"

"Ask for directions when you're hopelessly lost."

"I have another one," Gaara suddenly growled. "No backseat driving." Two backseat drivers fell back onto their butts in annoyance, pouting. Temari snorted in annoyance and Shikamaru just rolled his eyes and muttered his trademark 'troublesome'. Naruto still wasn't talking to anyone still. He had pushed up the partition in the back and holed up with Lee in the back, surrounded by suitcases which blockaded any hope of outside contact. Well, only hope for everyone besides Naruto. He didn't _want_ outside contact.

Temari finally made her brother pull over, and she asked the woman behind the counter for directions. The woman had graciously stopped arguing with a dark-haired girl to give them directions. Unlike the directions they had received in Washington, Sasuke noted, these were not the directions of a wannabe novelist on acid, they were normal directions. She pointed Gaara in the right direction, and sat back to watch.

Kakashi's house was tiny. In fact, it was so incredibly tiny that it was more of a shack. Gaara eyed it. "I say we draw straws to see who take in the lizard." Temari ignored him and grabbed the reptile from the side of the van.

"I'll take it in."

She knocked on the door. A tall, silver haired man opened it.

"Hello?" he raised one eyebrow. A couple of seconds later, however, he was grinning in one of those semi-creepy manners. "Temari? Temari Sabaku? Gaara's sister?"

"Yeah…he had you sixth year. We're on a road trip, actually. Nara, Inuzuka, Hyuuga, Uchiha, Uzamaki…"

"You actually got the six of them into a car and they aren't killing each other? When Sakura told her you would be dropping off Lee," Kakashi took the iguana for emphasis, "I thought she was kidding! Are they really getting along?"

"Yeah…Neji and Gaara hooked up, and I'm pretty sure it's only a matter of time until Sasuke and Naruto finally figure out their meant to be together. Why are you looking like that? I remember that look. I volunteered in your class for ninth year community credits, remember? You got that look just before you paired people up for projects. You're plotting. I _know_ it wasn't random."

"Not plotting, dear Temari. Just…"

"Plotting."

"Yeah."

"Well, if you have a plan, I want to hear it. Because man, the sexual tension is enough to rip a person apart with it's bare…tension-ness. That's not a word, is it? God, creative writing major…does that mean I can make up my own words? Damn tangent."

"Who's involved?"

"Everyone but Kiba. He's just an ass. And I don't mean it like that."

"Of course you don't Temari, of course you don't."

"Kakashi, you're not my teacher anymore, and if you were to die a very painful death, I'd be long gone by the time _someone_ noticed."

"You hooked up with Nara, didn't you?"

"I do not need to be hearing this from my teacher! Shut up shut up shut up!" Temari flailed her arms frantically, her blonde hair flying back and forth as she squealed. She recovered her wits and put her hands on her hips.

"Have fun," Kakashi said with a smirk. "So what do you guys do--"

"Make sandwiches," Temari answered promptly as she turned to go.

"Use condiments," he shouted after her. "Safe sandwiches!"

* * *

When they drove through Gatlinburg, it was filled with lights. Even though it was March, the Winter Festival lights were still up, and it was 'like Vegas, double neon, hold the bandits', as Temari had put it. 

"Hotel, on our left," Neji said, looking up from the road map. "Gaara, turn!" Gaara turned.

"Don't say it," Temari shouted, as soon as Kiba smirked. "I got enough of it from Kakashi! I do not need to hear your rendition of every possible little phrase that could be taken as some innuendo, or some hint at who is on top, because frankly, it's my brother and it's _gross._ Silence! Censor yourselves! I don't want to hear it!"

"I was just going to say Neji's a better co-navigator than Sasuke ever was, but whatever you say Temari…"

Temari shot kunai with her eyes.

The hotel was surprisingly not dingy. It was actually decent for once, and Kiba could actually have his own room for once. In fact, he was so happy with this that he did his little victory dance a bit too early. When he got up to his room, the door was locked and Naruto was nowhere to be found.

"I have copies of the key," Gaara said. He slid the card into the slot. The green light flicked on, and Gaara twisted the handle. Noise was present in the room. Temari listened carefully, and followed by Sasuke and Shikamaru, she searched for the source of the noise.

They heard shuffling from behind the bathroom door, and then they heard only silence. Temari sighed and trudged over to door, her eyes filled with concern no one could see. She pawed at the door gently with one flat palm. She could tell by the deadbolt that it wasn't locked, but she knew better than to open it.

"Go away," Naruto growled from behind said door.

"You need to talk to--"

"Not you."

"Who?"

Naruto paused. "Sasuke. I need to talk to Sasuke."

Temari nodded to Sasuke in that 'you-better-talk-to-him-and-be-_nice_-goddamn-it-or-else-I'll-beat-the-shit-out-of-you-you-bastard' kind of look. Sasuke didn't doubt she would follow through with any of those threats. He paused at the door and knocked twice. Two short, to the point raps. Naruto _knew_ that knock.

"Are you alone?" the blond boy asked through the door. Sasuke shot his friends a meaningful look and they scuttled from the room, with only a concerned backwards glance from Temari and a sigh from Shikamaru, who was forced to run.

"I am now."

"Come in."

Sasuke entered at a horribly slow rate. He placed a hand gently on the brass handle of the door. The metal was cold. He pushed down and pushed the thin door forwards slowly, painfully slowly. It swung inwards and Sasuke stepped inside even more slowly, hesitating. His eyes fixed on Naruto.

The blond boy lay in the bath tub. There was no water drawn, but he looked almost relaxed. His face had turned serene: mouth drawn shut, blue eyes closed, tanned and blushing cheeks relaxed. Sasuke stepped across the white tiled and reached a hand out to his friend.

"Naruto?" One of Naruto's eyes clicked open at the sound of his name. He didn't sit up, but the other eye opened slowly. They shifted to face Sasuke slowly, slowly, honey that dripped off tea spoons into lemon ginger tea, water that ran across almost-horizontal waxed paper.

"Sasuke," Naruto said quietly. Sasuke perched himself on the rim of the bathtub and stared down at the younger boy. "Do you hate me?" Naruto asked. His face was so entirely serious and sad looking. Sasuke bit back a sharp remark.

"Hate you? Why would I hate you?"

"Because I'm gay?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "I think you would have known before now if I hated people like that, considering Neji and Gaara--"

"It's different," Naruto said quietly. "I mean, we were closer. You didn't…"

"Sleep in the same bed as Gaara?"

"Yeah," Naruto said quietly. "That's exactly it."

"I don't hate you. If I hated you over this, I was a lousy friend to begin with. It's not like you tried to rape me in my sleep." Sasuke leaned back against the walls, which were tiled in a cornflower blue color that Sasuke decided he hated for some reason.

"I wouldn't do that to you," Naruto sighed mournfully. He shut his eyes again, his lips pulling apart. He reached up and pulled the lever on the drain down to plug it and turning on the water. It coursed over his face.

"You could just ask you know," Sasuke whispered under his breath. He hoped he hadn't said that aloud. He hoped Naruto wasn't listening. He hoped Naruto hadn't heard. But the way Naruto's eyes suddenly clicked open and his lips parted again, Sasuke knew those pathetic little hopes he had clung to for those remaining seconds were fruitless.

"Yeah, and you'd say what?"

"Yes?"

Naruto's eyes shut again. The water was up to his ears by now. Sasuke reached over and flicked off the water. Naruto's eyes didn't even open. He just sank as far as he could below the surface and shut his lips again. It occurred to Sasuke that noticing the state of one's lips is rather awkward, whether one happens to be infatuated with another's presence or not.

Sasuke dipped one foot into the water. It was lukewarm and swirled around the fabric of Naruto's orange shirt, creating lakes and rivers in the folds, shifting when Naruto breathed gently. Sasuke swirled his toes around, twirling through Naruto's hair gently.

It reminded him of summer. They used to sit by the town pool sometimes when the weather was nice. Sasuke never went in, always saying he was sick or that he hurt his leg, but Naruto would swim around in circles around the dark haired boys toes. Sometimes Naruto would just float in the sea of chlorine, the summer sun dancing off his tinted cheeks, and somehow, the bathtub in the dingy hotel room with the ugly cornflower blue tiles reminded him of those summers.

"You're cute when you sulk," Sasuke observed.

"You know, you don't have to sit on the edge. If you don't mind being wet, you can sit with me." Naruto's eyes didn't open, but he shifted to one side. Sasuke slid into the water beside his friend. "See, not so bad, right?"

"I never was comfortable in water."

"You're not going to drown in three inches." Naruto's eyes opened slowly and he propped himself up on one elbow. He curled his legs gently around Sasuke's and leaned forward gently. "I promise." Sasuke tucked a strand of hair behind his friend's ear.

"I know. Did you want to get out?" he asked. Naruto laughed lightly.

"I already told you that you wouldn't drown." He reached over and flicked the lever, draining most of the water. "Better?"

"I guess."

"Are…are we cool?" Naruto breathed.

"Of course," Sasuke whispered back. He bent his head and kissed Naruto's cheek. "Come on, let's get to sleep. We have to get up early so we can look around Gatlinburg, you know?" He stepped out of the bathtub and onto the fuzzy mat. A quick glance at Naruto revealed that the blond teenager was blushing profusely.

"Sasuke?"

"Hm?"

"Where are you going to sleep?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Same as always."

"Even after…"

"It's cold, and we're wet. I'm not going to let you freeze on that stupid pull out couch." He slipped off his soaked tee shirt and tugged a pajama top over his head. He switched his sopping jeans for matching bottoms and wrung out his hair with a towel. "You coming?"

"Yeah," Naruto said. He changed quickly and curled up beside Sasuke. He made sure, however, that their skin didn't touch, that hair didn't touch.

"I'm cold, get over here," Sasuke complained, wrapping a stray arm around Naruto. Naruto shuddered and moved slightly closer. Blond spikes tickled Sasuke's pale face and in return he nestled his face in the crook of the blond boy's neck. "Good night." He pressed his lips gently to the boy's shoulder. Naruto shivered slightly, leaning backwards against his friend's mouth.

"Night."

* * *

**Hope you liked this chapter (but then again, I wrote it :preens: Gosh...just kidding...)**

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Go out into the world and find the ugliest place imaginable. A drug store parking lot, an alley, whatever, and make a shrine to beauty, love and all things good.


	18. Day 18: Gatlinburg

**Eritrea is a small country in Africa that borders the Red Sea, Sudan, and Ethiopia. I would like to say kudos to Sachida, who found it. I would also like to send kudos to DarkNinjaBeunneh, Kaikouken and Kelseyrianne, all of whom knew my Author Insert was indeed the girl arguing with the convenience store lady. **

I would also like to take a second to thank all the people who review and have this on their favorites and alert lists. I'm feeling really bad today (The whole world is out to get me and I'm pretty sure I have the flu. Due to flu, the SasuNaru is lacking. Lot's of ShikaTema and GaaNeji though.) and all the reviews made me feel better. This is now my most reviewed, c2-ed, faved, on-alerted and viewed story. Now all I need is the fan art… :snicker:

She doesn't own Naruto, Tupac…or Vanuatu. 

* * *

"You got _laid_, didn't you?" 

"I don't want to have this conversation with--"

"I knew it! You did get laid!"

"Kiba, shut up! I did not get laid. We just…"

Kiba smirked.

"No! Kiba!" Sasuke shot his so called friend a roasting glare. "Nothing happened! Shut up!" The dark haired boy rubbed the back of his neck nervously as he glared bitterly at Kiba. Kiba just smirked and examined his fingernails.

"Sure, I totally believe you," he said. "You going to wake him up, or do you want to do it? He's probably going to like it better if you do it." Kiba waved dismissively without waiting for an answer and sashayed out of the room. "We're going to Ripley's Believe in or Not Museum in half an hour, after continental breakfast. We all know Naruto's so afraid of creepy shit…"

Sasuke chucked a pillow at Kiba's head.

"Naruto, wake up." Sasuke poked his friend, who rolled over and clung to the pillow.

"Nu…waking up…I was wrong…"

"About what?"

"Math test…pi is _not_ a desert…it's three…"

"Three point one four one five nine two six five."

"Yeah." Naruto sat up groggily. "How did you know that so _early_ in the morning?"

Sasuke just sighed and chucked a fallen pillow at Naruto. Naruto flailed for it a few seconds after it pegged him in the face. The blond boy just glared and got to his feet. He stretched, yawned, and started for the door.

"Do they have ramen at breakfast?"

"You loser, they have sausages and eggs, not ramen." Naruto looked momentarily mortified. "Oh come on, I know you like those biscuits. Not that you'll get any, considering Temari piles them on her plate and _never_ shares."

"Don't be bitter, it's not her fault you're slow," Naruto said with a laugh as he bolted from the room. Sasuke chased him down the steps and into the dining room, where they were serving breakfast. All you can eat breakfast. Almost.

"Young man! Young man! Please return the sausage!" A thirty-whatever hotel employee was shouting fruitlessly at Kiba, who was taking every single one of the sausages. Temari made a discreet joke about it, but no one else could do much except watch the boy in shocked horror.

Temari, after her jab at Kiba, was surprised to see someone she knew.

"Hey Chika!"

"Ooh, hi! How's it going?"

"Shitty. No more biscuits."

"Same. No more Chestnuts." Temari shot the girl an accusing look. The girl made a face and shook her head.

"I swear, some fat lady with some _serious_ waiting in line issues took all of them."

"I want my rightful food back."

"Me too."

"Shall we?"

In the end, Sasuke barely got to eat, they were kicked out so fast. Assaulting guests, refusal to comply with employee orders, rape of pillows, clogging the drain in the bathtub. The list went on and on. Gaara sighed and shook his head, glaring at his friends.

"To the Ripley's Believe it or Not Museum," he said with a sigh. "And then on the road."

* * *

Temari stared in awe. Her eyes flicked over its grey surface, spray painted with red and black spray paint. It was beaten down, and part of her wanted more than the world to feel its inevitably cold surface under her long fingers. 

She reached forward to touch it, carefully, carefully, trying not to trip on the velvet rope. Her fingers graced over its harsh surface, tips bouncing over crevices that had been formed by age and people beating down on it. She reached the edge and pulled back violently, one of the edges scraped her finger, just above the bright ruby ring she wore. She put her hand back against it. She didn't pull back, despite the small amount of blood that trickled down ring finger, through the paths worn away in gold and across her palm. Blood had been spilt here before, she knew.

"It's amazing and frightening at the same time, ne?" Shikamaru's voice broke her from her trance. Temari turned, bleeding hand still splayed across the stony surface. "Over a thousand people died trying to cross, you know." Temari glanced at the blood that had left a miniscule streak on her hand.

"I know. It's both amazing and frightening at the same time." She grabbed at her hair and scowled at it accusingly. "You know, my great grandfather was German. This whole time, when they're slamming the Nazis in school, I feel like outsider. My great grandfather wasn't a Nazi. Just because he was German didn't make him a supporter of Hitler. Gaara is lucky, he didn't get the hair." She tangled her fingers roughly in her hair and pounded her other fist sharply on the wall beside it until the side of her hands turned red.

Shikamaru walked slowly up behind the blond girl. He took her wrist gently and pulled her fingers from her hair. He wiped away the drop of blood that had made its way down her hand. "Is it scaring you?"

"It was…but now it doesn't." She relaxed in Shikamaru's grasp. "I feel better now. I can't believe it's only been since 1989. It feels like it should have been longer ago."

Shikamaru sighed. "I know. It's like the internment camps or slavery. It feels like a million years ago. It's not though. My grandfather was in an internment camp. Manzanar."

"Mine too."

Shikamaru nodded slowly, rocking Temari comfortingly back and forth. She had started crying by that time. Shikamaru brushed the hair that had fallen in front of her eyes out of her face gently and took her by the hand, gently tugging at her bleeding hand, trying to lead her away.

"Come on Temari." He wiped the tears away from her eyes and wrapped a supportive arm around her waist.

"Shikamaru?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you." She dissolved into tears again. '_Why am I being so emotional?_' she asked. '_It was all okay until a couple minutes ago._' She felt Shikamaru tighten his grip around her waist.

"I love you too." He ran his fingers through one of her pigtails. "Come on, let's find the rest of them." He placed a gently kiss on the top of her head and lead her away. He wasn't the stoic genius, at that moment. No, at that moment, he was the good boyfriend, consoling his girlfriend.

'_The Berlin Wall_.'

* * *

Neji and Gaara leaned against the wall, watching tourists. Technically they were tourists too, but it was different. Gaara was hear because he still wouldn't trust anyone else to drive Murphy unless it was completely and utterly necessary, and Neji was there for Gaara. 

"Why are we just standing here?" Neji asked. "I mean, we could head somewhere else in the museum." He looked nervously to Gaara. Gaara shrugged, grabbing Neji by the wrist and stalking off. "Where are we going?"

"Bathroom," Gaara hissed. Neji found himself surrounded by white tiles. "You feeling okay? You're acting weird." Neji felt like a girl in school: hiding and talking in the bathroom. He swallowed.

"I like you, I'm just…"

"Afraid. I know. It's okay. I'll wait for you," Gaara whispered, smiling weakly. Neji nodded and moved forward. He pressed his forehead against Gaara's gently.

"No, you don't have to. It might take a while to get used to, you know?"

"I know."

Neji pressed his lips against Gaara's. He wasn't afraid anymore, not at all. Whatever it was that kept him and the red-headed boy apart had dissolved in the bathroom in Gatlinburg. Maybe it was how the whole place was filled with curiosities: Neji didn't feel like a freak among the strange items that surrounded him. He felt normal. Love was normal.

"I'm glad I didn't have to wait," Gaara said with a half-smile. Neji nodded weakly. "You want to stay?" Gaara asked. He didn't wait for an answer though. He gently returned Neji's kiss. Kisses, of course, as Neji had learned with Gaara, were rarely gentle. It surprised him, the gentleness of the other boy.

When they finally broke for air, Neji was flushed a thorough red and Gaara was smirking wildly. "Come on." He took Neji's hand gently and led him back out of the bathroom. "We'll go find the others, alright?" The two walked a few more steps before Neji paused.

"Gaara?"

"Yeah?"

"What are we? I mean…"

"You're my most loved bitch," Gaara said with a wink. Neji laughed lightly.

"You love me more than Murphy?"

"Always."

* * *

**You get no SasuNaru fluff, because...well...it's late and I'm sick. I updated though! And you got ShikaTema, and you got GaaNeji. Be happy. Find my Author Insert. Find Vanuatu.**

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SasuNaru fluff later...soon...tomorrow. Oh WELL.


	19. Day 19: Oklahoma

**Kudos to everyone who found the Author Insert and where Vanuatu was (I was the person Temari met at breakfast who was very angry at the biscuit-and-chestnut stealing lady with waiting in line issues. Seriously, when I went on this trip I ate biscuits almost exclusively and one day this lady cut in front of me AND TOOK ALL THE BISCUITS!). Vanuatu, officially the Republic of Vanuatu, is a Melanesian island nation located in the South Pacific Ocean. The archipelago is located 1090 miles east of Australia, 310 miles northeast of New Caledonia, west of Fiji and south of the Solomon Islands.**

**I was SO out of it while writing this, it was scary. I kept wanting to slip into first person or present tense. If it sounds spacey, blame the flu.**

**She doesn't own Naruto…or the Federated States of Micronesia.**

**

* * *

**The scent of change came on the wind in Arkansas. It was then that Temari realized how happy she was with her friends. They sat by the river, legs dangling over the guardrails, staring down at the water below them, eating sandwiches they had picked up from a Subway a few miles back. They would have eaten in the restaurant, but there was a small commotion involving someone who had slapped a fellow customer over being rude to one of the sandwich makers, which resulted in an all out Subway-brawl. The river was much more peaceful. 

The color was uniquely of the river. The sky was the color of snow that had fallen, the water itself a shade of grey a few steps darker. The trees were like olives, and the earth was rich, dark mud. The guardrails, biting and cold, were steely grey. The color was the river.

"It's nice here," Temari said. Naruto nodded brightly in agreement.

"Too bad we have to leave," he said.

"Don't you miss California?" Temari asked. Naruto shrugged.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I don't want to leave." The blond boy took a bite of his sandwich. "What about you guys?" he asked, head swiveling to face his other friends. "What do you think?" Gaara looked pensive a second before replying.

"I think it's nice here. It feels different than all the other places we've been, don't you think?"

"It has," agreed Neji. "I can't wait to get back though. Not that I really have any place to go back to, considering I've been pretty much disowned."

"Stay with us," Temari suggested. "Kankuro would _love_ to have someone else to talk to besides Gaara. I don't even count any more, since all I care about is 'those damn protests'. They aren't just protests, they are our future!"

Kiba patted Temari's shoulder with sarcastic comfort. "It's okay Temari. Just let all the rage out."

Temari slapped him. "I don't have any rage!" she cried. "If you say that one more time, I'll toss you in the Mississippi." She pointed to the water with the hand not clutching her vegetarian wrap.

Kiba blinked a few times and went back to nibbling nervously on his roast beef sandwich. "You're a scary, scary girl Temari."

"I know. You love me for it though."

"You rap."

"Oh shut it," Temari snapped. She sighed. No matter how nice a river, no matter how great the people, eventually it would just degrade into a slap fight and some mud wrestling. Not that there was much wrong with mud wrestling, but still. It was just how the world operated around them. '_But then again,_' she mused, '_I'm happier than I've ever been in my life._'

"Not--" Kiba started.

"You know what Kiba?" Temari asked, interrupting the boy's comeback. "I love you."

"What?" Kiba blinked, thoroughly surprised at her sudden bi-polarity. Going from arguing to a proclamation of love, even a proclamation of platonic love, was certainly weird.

"I absolutely love this trip, and it's going to suck when it ends, because I'm going to miss spending hours and hours every day fighting with you." She grinned and leaned back against a telephone pole. "You only live once, ne? Might as well tell the people you love that you love them."

Kiba blinked again. Shikamaru looked sort of confused.

"Don't feel left out Shika-Shika," Temari said with a grin. "I love you too."

They finished their food and started pushing the car along the nearly deserted highway. When everyone was in, Gaara drove. Hours passed at a frighteningly slow rate. He drove as he had been doing for all those hours, on the same long, unyielding stretch of road.

"I'm bored," Kiba complained. Gaara ignored his friend's whining and turned his eyes back on the completely deserted road. There were no cars for miles and miles, and there were no mountains, and there was no signs of life. Then, Gaara saw it. His eyes fixed on it. He gripped the steering wheel and stomped on the breaks.

"Hey!" Naruto cried as he flew against a wall. "That hurt. Why did you stop?"

"Oklahoma," Gaara growled. "I'm not driving anymore. Someone else do it." He bit his lip and moved into the backseat. He sat on the floor unmoving. His sister raised one eyebrow and climbed into the seat formerly occupied by her brother, strapped herself in, and pushed on the break. "I warned you guys, I am not driving in Oklahoma."

"Why not?"

"I'll lose my mind."

"Wait," Kiba said, pausing, "you mean to say you still have a mind to lose?"

Slap.

* * *

The hotel room was huge. It was literally larger than the apartment Naruto had lived in before the child protective services put him with his current stupid, good-for-nada guardian. Said hotel room had two stories, a queen sized bed, a pull out couch, a regular couch, and a queen sized pull-down bed mounted on a wall. There were two bathrooms, one of which Temari immediately disappeared into without further thoughts to the world so she could 'get a real shower goddamnit'. 

"Food!" Kiba shouted. Indeed, across the street there was a barbecue across the street. It was late at night, and yet the orange neon flashed brightly across the way, shedding light on the pavement, the hotel, and the mattress factory. "Food! We have to go you guys!" Kiba pleaded. "Please?"

"But…" Temari protested.

"They have coleslaw!"

"Only for you, Kiba." The blond girl found her purse and fished out a couple of bills. "We're starting to run low on a little necessity I like to call cash. Gaara, this is a problem." She rolled her eyes. "I'm still not believing how much _money_ this cost."

"Not so much," Gaara said. "We have most of it covered."

"We're going to have to sleep in the car for the last of it, aren't we?"

Gaara shut his eyes and sighed. "Temari, you need to stop worrying."

"Uh-huh…car?"

"Yeah."

Temari just rolled her eyes and crossed the street to the barbecue, Kiba and Neji in tow. Gaara rolled his eyes and followed her, abandoning Sasuke and Naruto alone in a massive hotel room with a _brilliant_ view of the mattress factory.

Naruto stared at the mattress factory intently. Whatever he had to do to keep from talking to Sasuke, to keep from making any kind of contact with the boy that made him feel so strange. He didn't want to have to actually talk to him. The awkwardness had to be a choking hazard.

"Naruto…" Sasuke said. He padded across the grey-green carpet to sit beside his friend. "Are you angry at me?"

"No," Naruto said quietly, his eyes not tearing away from the buildings in the distance. His reflection in the window stared back at him with miserable eyes. "I'm sorry. You can say you don't care, but I know you're lying. You've been avoiding me since Thursday. I'm not stupid."

"I'm not avoiding you…" Sasuke protested weakly. Naruto shot him a disbelieving look. "Alright, maybe I am. It's not for the reason you think though."

Naruto laughed humorlessly, finally tearing his eyes away from the night sky to focus on Sasuke's pale face. "What reason do I think it is then? Or better yet, why don't you tell me your reason for suddenly ignoring me?" Blue eyes were filled with both tears and scalding, bitter anger.

"Because," Sasuke said firmly. "Because I'm afraid I'll mess up. I do that a lot, in case you haven't noticed."

"You, mess up? The perfect Uchiha?" Naruto snorted. "Even if you did you wouldn't admit it. What's there to mess up about?"

"I don't want to mess up our friendship," Sasuke said. Naruto shrugged and leaned against the biting cold glass of the window.

"Well then, you're really on the right track. What am I supposed to think?"

Sasuke didn't know how to answer. He bit his lip and shut his eyes, leaning also against the glass. "I don't know what you think." He doesn't talk any more than he has too, doesn't look at his friend any more than he thinks he should.

"Well why don't you tell me when you know, ne? Until then Uchiha, stay out of my way and leave me alone." Naruto sighed and got up, padded up the stairs. He sat on the bed and flicked on the television, staring blankly at the screen without really watching.

Sasuke wanted to sit by his friend, to hug him and tell him he was sorry, to tell him that he was just afraid of messing whatever they had. Friendship? A fragile hope that maybe they could be more than that one day?

"Naruto," Sasuke said as he sat beside his friend on the paisley bed cover. "I'm sorry."

"No you're not. Leave me alone. I need you to leave me alone. Stop hurting me."

Sasuke blanched. He swallowed and gulped down a few sips of air. "I'm sorry," he repeated.

Naruto didn't even bother responding. He just rose, leaving the television to blare rapid succession clips of media, and walked slowly down the stairs to the couch. He resumed his watch of the world, not looking at much in particular. Sasuke bit his lip and trailed after him. The dark haired boy sat beside his friend on the olive pillows. He draped one skinny arm around the younger boy and wordlessly pulled him closer.

Sasuke caught their reflection in the window. Blue eyes had misted up with absolutely grave-silent tears. Normally pouted lips were drawn into a paper-thin line. The stars were bright. The stars were grains of sand scattered on the sky's black beach.

"Naruto," Sasuke began. He exhaled slowly. "Naruto, I want you to know that--"

"We're BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!" Temari shouted at the top of her lungs as she burst through the front door. "AND WE HAVE FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! Coleslaw, corn, ribs, chicken, other meat that Kiba wanted, gristle. Enough to pacify all y'lls for a long time." The woman bustled over and loaded white Styrofoam boxes onto the island in the kitchen.

"You want food?" Sasuke asked Naruto quietly. Naruto didn't respond, his eyes still glued to the distance. "I'll be right back." He slipped his arms from around Naruto's waist and drifted to find his friend food. He himself wouldn't eat. He barely ate, he barely slept, and since the trip had started he hadn't gotten much better. Growing painfully skinnier with each passing day, wasting away in front of a mirror.

He returned to sit beside his friend. Naruto didn't turn to face him. It wasn't his friend yelling at him that he couldn't handle. No, that he would be able to deal with. He couldn't, however, deal with Naruto being so silent to him.

"You hungry?" Sasuke asked, handing Naruto a chicken wing. Naruto stared at it and began to nibble at the edges of it. Still no verbal reply. "Please don't be like this. It's disconcerting. You're not supposed to be this quiet. You're--"

"Not like this, right? Oh wow Sasuke, some friend you are, with your stupid predetermined thoughts of how I should or shouldn't act, with you pretending to care but not really giving a damn." Naruto shook his head and stood.

"Did you want some ribs Naruto?" Temari asked.

Naruto nodded. "These look really good," he said brightly, taking a bite. "Wow, these really are good!" He grinned broadly. '_Disgusting,_' Sasuke thought. '_Disgusting that he's such a brilliant liar._'

They ate in silence. Gaara was the only one who noticed. To everyone else, they were all engrossed in their own projects. The red-head, the one who tried to keep the world of Murphy running, noticed the silence.

Naruto took the key and left. He walked outside, clutching his jacket around his bony arms and found a spot on the lending outside their suite. He stared up at the sky in a mixture of awe and angry defiance.

"Naruto?" Naruto's head swiveled. Gaara was leaning against the railing beside him. "So you and Sasuke are fighting." It wasn't a question. Just a statement of fact. Naruto bit his lip and cast his eyes down, swinging his legs over the edge of the landing.

"Yeah. I don't know why though…I mean…"  
Gaara smiled a sarcastic, cynical, humorless smile. "You are probably the densest person in the world, Uzamaki Naruto. When will you understand you just have to take it a little slower with him than you might with someone else, that's all. You're not hopeless." Gaara sat beside his friend, slipping his legs over the edge as well.

"How do you know?" Naruto asked.

"When I walked in to wake you guys up yesterday, you were _spooning_. Sasuke doesn't _spoon_ anybody."

"I don't want to hurt him," Naruto said thoughtfully. "It's better if I just--"

Gaara interrupted Naruto's babbling with a quick snort. "You don't want to hurt him? He's practically flipping out. I don't want to play messenger here, that's one of the lessons Temari passed onto me, but I will say this: you're making him miserable."

"Really?"

"Yup." Gaara rose. He wasn't one for heart-to-hearts, at least not long in-depth ones if the point had already been made. "Do whatever. Listening to him beat himself up about how horrible he was to you is going to keep Kiba up all night though." The conversation ended with the shutting of a door.

Naruto didn't walk back into their sweet for another fifteen minutes. Neji and Gaara had locked themselves in the bathroom, Shikamaru, Temari and Kiba were seated on the couch, watching some television show. Sasuke sat on the upstairs bed, watching television as well. He stared blankly at the screen, still not sure just what he was watching.

"Sasuke?" Naruto padded up the stairs.

"Hm?"

"Are you alright?"

"No."

They sat in silence. Sasuke wanted to turn off the television. He didn't want it to be so quiet though. It would be less awkward to hear Sandra Bullock talking in the background. The dark haired boy curled up beside his friend, resting his cheek on the quilt just next to the other boy's chest.

"You scare me," Naruto breathed. "I'm afraid I'll make you mad. I'm afraid I'll mess up."

Sasuke exhaled in quiet puffs that could have been taken for a humorless and sarcastic laugh. "This whole situation is messed up."

Naruto wrapped one arm around Sasuke's neck and dragged him closer. "I know. You tired?"

Sasuke nodded. Half of him didn't want to let go of Naruto, half of him wanted to get under the ugly paisley quilt so he could be warmer and then clutch Naruto. The two boys mutually decided on the latter and climbed under the sheets.

"Sasuke?"

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry."

"Me too."

"Does that mean you forgive me?" Naruto asked quietly, snuggling closer to Sasuke. He recalled his conversation with Gaara and shut his eyes, remembering. "Well?"

Sasuke didn't respond besides snaking one arm around Naruto's waist and pulling their bodies flush against each other. He nestled his face in the crook of Naruto's neck, breathing softly into the teenager's blond hair. Sasuke reached over and flicked the lamp off, plunging the two of them into darkness. So ended the non-conversation with the clicking of a light.

**

* * *

**

**:staves: Look! Fluff! It's pathetic, but eventually they're going to get their alcohol and :ehem: be inappropriate. :Cue knowing nod: Grah...I was so hyped on Tylonol and Asprin when I wrote this. Curse the twenty-nine hour flu! And look! IT'S LONGER THAN USUAL!**

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	20. Day 20: Texas

**Yes yes, I was the chick who slapped someone for being rude to a sandwich maker. No, I've never actually slapped someone for that, yes I have told them off for that, and the best Subway Sandwich I ever had was in Tenesee. Moving on. Micronesia is in the Pacific, near Paupa New Guinea. **

**Sorry this was so short, I knitted a 5' 4" scarf, went over to my friend's house, and spent a bunch of time outside (despite being sick). Sorry if you think it's too short. They'll get longer, I swear. I just needed filler since I noticed this has 8/9/10 more chapters. Length control.**

**She doesn't own Naruto...or the Ustyurt Plateau (not a country, but I ran out of obscure countries, so now it's countries AND places like mountains and plateaus and lakes ect.)**

* * *

Texas was long. It stretched for miles and miles, endless plains of what felt like the same place over and over. It wasn't that all of Texas was boring, no, there were interesting places, but this stretch of highway was not one of those places. It was long and it was boring.

"I want booze," Temari said. She hadn't wanted booze in a while, but passing out was preferable to seeing how long she could go without blinking versus how many times she blinked in a minute. Gaara glared at her in the rearview mirror.

"There are no exits for forever Temari," he informed her dryly. "Where do you suggest we get it?"

"No need to get snippy little brother," Temari chided. "I was just stating the fact that I'd rather pass out and do horridly inappropriate stuff with Nara and have an excuse versus actually having to explain myself afterwards."

"Temari! That's icky!" Naruto cried, shutting his eyes and covering his ears with both hands. Gaara didn't like this conversation, and so he attempted to roast Shikamaru through the rearview mirror. Shikamaru actually made the effort to _cower_.

"No inappropriate shit with my sister," Gaara warned. "Or I am going to castrate you with a crowbar." He turned his eyes to Temari. "Temari, no inappropriate shit with Shikamaru, or I'll lock you in your room until you're thirty five."

"You and what army?"

"Between Kankuro, Kiba and me, we'll find a way."

"Who said I was in on this?" Kiba asked indignantly.

Temari nodded to Kiba. "See? Someone's on my side!"

"I'm in!" Kiba shouted. "Sorry, just had to make it clear I'm in it of my own free will, not due to being drafted by Gaara's 'The Army of Murphy', if you know what I mean?" he grinned wildly. Temari raised an eyebrow.

"Sounds like a badly written novel. Gaara's 'The Army of Murphy'. Sun Tzu's The Art of War, you know?" she shrugged. "My room doesn't have a lock you know."

"Oh don't worry Temari," Gaara said darkly. "We'd find a way."

No one said any more.

* * *

They decided that Texas was actually a demon in disguise. Only a demon, a rather large, fuzzy, vengeful one, would strand them in the middle of nowhere in a van with no gas, and no gas station in sight. Okay, so the lone station had shown up about three miles back, dusty and decrepit, and _someone_ had to go back. Two people, actually, in case someone died of heatstroke. 

"Not leaving Shikamaru."

"Not leaving Temari."

"Not leaving Gaara."

"Not leaving the van."

"Not leaving at all, I feel like watching."

"That means Sasuke and Naruto are going. Now go," Gaara said. "What are you waiting for? Being lazy is Shikamaru's job." He waved them off. Naruto and Sasuke shot him scalding, roasting looks and the two boys started off down the long stretch of road. Slowly the Hippie-Like-Vehicle was just a spot in the distance, and Sasuke and Naruto could have _died_ out there and no one would have come for weeks.

"Long trip to get some gas, ne?" Naruto asked with a laugh. "I mean, you'd think we'd remember to fill up."

"Yeah," Sasuke said vaguely. "You know how hypnotizing that landscape can be though. Do you have the gas can?" Naruto nodded, holding up a red plastic jug. Sasuke acknowledged this with a wave of his hand. "Good. It would have been a pain to walk all the way back now."

"So we have to walk three miles through Texas. What if we die?"

"Six."

"Six _what_?" Naruto demanded.

"Six miles. We have to walk back, remember?" Sasuke gave Naruto a knowing look and silence ran to greet them. Naruto stared at the ground miserably. Sasuke didn't notice this, of course, and just kept walking. At least, for a little while. "Hey, what's wrong with you?"

Naruto didn't respond. He just kept walking, heel toe, over the long stretch of road. Gaara had armed them with a stun gun for god's sake, a stun gun, and there was no one for miles. What do you _use_ a stun gun for when there is no one around for miles?

"I'm fine," Naruto said. "Just hot, that's all." Sasuke bit his lip. '_Yes, Naruto, you are very hot._' The dark haired boy blinked a couple of times, trying to rid himself of the perverted thoughts that had seeped into his brain.

"Gaara gave us some stuff," Sasuke said, rapidly changing subject. "Cell phone, water, stun gun…stun gun? Why did he give us a stun gun?"

"He's Gaara."

"Touché. Water?"

Naruto took the water bottle and took a small sip of water. He blinked a couple of times and handed it back to Sasuke, who returned it to Temari's purse. Temari's purse, which happened to contain a cell phone, a water bottle and a stun gun. They needed some place to carry all the junk.

Twenty minutes later, however, Naruto was starting to feel dizzy. More than dizzy, actually. He could see his feet, for the sake of ramen, when he looked up. That is a very bad place to see your feet. The blond boy asked for water, controlling his breath as much as possible. Worrying Sasuke, he reasoned, was fairly stupid. He didn't need to worry Sasuke. No, no need.

Then a gnome appeared.

"How may I be of service today?" asked the gnome. Naruto stared. '_Gnome?_' he thought. '_Why is there a gnome in the middle of Texas?_' He shook his head. The gnome remained. "Young man? Young man are you alright?" The gnome prodded Naruto's forehead. Naruto shook his head again, and the gnome was gone.

"Why were you a gnome?" Naruto asked.

And then he passed out.

* * *

When Naruto woke up, he was still in the middle of Texas. However, he was no longer standing up and seated beside him was Sasuke. Also, he was in a gas station When blue eyes clicked open, Sasuke was immediately at attention, his own black optics wide. 

"Are you alright?" Sasuke asked nervously. Someone kicked him sharply.

"Of course he's not alright," scolded a voice. Said voice wasn't clearly a 'guy' voice or a 'girl' voice, the owner of the voice wasn't clearly dressed, and from what Naruto could see, he couldn't get a good look at the chest. Person walked out with a swimsuit edition of a magazine and Naruto never would be sure.

"I'm fine," he said, dragging himself to a seated position. There were ice packs under his arms. "What happened?"

"We think ya got heatstroke," said the man who managed the gas station. "Not too bad, we caught it fast enough that you'll be fine in a couple a days. Jes drink some of this." The Gas Station Man handed Naruto a bottle of Gatorade.

"I don't have money on me," Sasuke said, eyeing the sport's drink. The man shrugged.

"You can just have it. I can't afford to have people dyin' on mah floor," Gas Station Man explained. "Your friends is probably waiting, it's been almost a hour. She can drive you." He gestured to a teenager who was downing a mocha in one corner. "She's gong the same way."

Sasuke and Naruto thanked the man, and Sasuke dragged Naruto into the car the girl had designated as her friend's mother's. They were dropped off by Murphy, and Naruto was practically tackled by Temari.

"Are you alright? We were so worried! We barely got any of the story, the phone connection was so bad!" She held Naruto tightly. "Here, lay down in the back, my stupid good for nada brother better get going! Go!" She helped Naruto into Murphy. The blond boy was thoroughly disoriented, that was obvious from the way his eyes kept spinning in circles.

Shikamaru surveyed the blond boy. "Looks like overheating or an _extremely_ mild case of heatstroke." he observed. "We should probably give him more water. That, and blast that air conditioning." He moved to sit near Naruto and gently moved strands of hair from the younger boy's face. "See, you'll be fine?"

Temari nodded. "Yeah. Let's just get to Santa Fe. Then the whole world will be better."

So they drove through Texas, land of the demons and the stun guns.

* * *

**I..up...dated. Grah!**

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	21. Day 21: New Mexico

**I sorry I not update…silly FF.**

**In keeping with canon (okay, okay, I didn't want to dwell), Naruto heals really fast. I've never gotten heatstroke, but one of my friends did. Her body temp was off for weeks, but she was pretty sturdy and recovered fast enough to be normal in like, four days. So…Naru-chan recovered Uber-fast (he'll still be a little messed up though). Also, if you're reading along, and I've got some part about religion wrong, please PLEASE bitch at be until I make it better. I implore thee. It has it's purpose, Chasmodai swears.**

**I was the gal in the gas station. This chapter's insert has it's own purpose though! Doesn't really show up, but she's mentioned. I swear to god…my friend dared me to buy it. I swear.**

**OHMIGAWD I HAVE OVER 200 REVIEWS! And over 10,000 hits. And 6 C2s!**

**I don't on Naruto or Qqraqalpoghiston.**

**

* * *

**It was all Temari's fault. Her and her stupid 'I want to be an anthropologist' stream of thought. Oh, it could have been great, brilliant, just a _normal_ day. Naruto had pretty much recovered from heatstroke during the driving, and that night they arrived in New Mexico. 

Temari had a _thang_ for reservations. We don't mean the hotel kind. Oh no.

We mean the hot sweaty kind. The kind with people. The kind that have trailers and such. The kind with culture. Apparently one of Temari's Anthropology teachers, who had left a year prior, lived on a reservation in New Mexico and was studying the oral traditions and history of reservations. So there Temari ended up, with her friends in tow, in a dusty gym basement. With her friend. Who is this friend, you may ask?

His name was Baki.

He worked on the reservation as a gym teacher and lived in the basement of the school. Gaara disliked this very much. Actually, he disliked the way certain people were eyeing his car. In fact, he really hated the way they were eyeing his car.

"Can we _go?_" he asked. "Please? They're…touching my car."

"So? They'd touch your car in Santa Fe too. It's the stupid Fabulous Rainbow Car Detailer. It's all their fault," Kiba said dramatically. "It's just a _car._"

"Oh shut it," Gaara snapped back. "You know it's more than just a car. It's Murphy."

"Guys," Temari said pointedly. "This is Baki. Baki, this is my brother, my friends and my--"

"Lover!" Kiba shouted.

Temari glared. "You need to be very, very quiet right now, or I will find you and I will hurt you badly."

"What happened to you loving me?" Kiba asked, looking mildly hurt.

"I swear Kiba! I'll tell them how you lived! It'll be up to someone else to _dig up your remains goddamn it!_" Her bright eyes narrowed and she looked more than just slightly angry. No, she was far into one of those creepy 'I'm-not-kidding-I-shall-kill-thee' modes.

"Ookie…" Kiba squeaked.

"So, Baki, how is it here?" Temari asked, turning her attention away from the attention whore.

The talk about the Native people who lived on the reservation extended far into whenever, and it was only interrupted once. This once occurred very loudly, and Baki briefly wished he had pretended he wasn't home.

"Baki!" a redhead teenage girl had shouted as she stormed down the basement stairs. "BAKI! SHE CALLED ME WHITEWASHED!" This was followed by the girl being shoved by a taller, blonder girl.

"I did not!"

"Yes you did!"

"Well, you are!"

"Bitch! You have blonder hair than I would ever have the gall to call my own!" And so the redhead punched the blonde square in the face, as if to back this up. The blond girl screamed loudly.

"You stupid bitch!" she shrieked as she clutched her nose and made a kick for the redhead girl's stomach.

"Iiiiiiii!" was the war cry of the crimson haired girl. Blood spurted. Even normal girls will eventually snap and just hit the nearest object, whether it be locker, computer, or classmate. So it was that Baki's student had her _episode._ Temari, Gaara, Neji and Sasuke watched in horror. Kiba and Naruto watched in a state akin to awe. Baki looked sort of unimpressed.

"Break it up," he said, shaking his head. "You're not allowed to fight on school grounds. Save that for kickboxing club."

"I don't think you understood," said the redhead girl. "She called me whitewashed."

Baki blinked before turning to the blond. "Did you call her whitewashed?"

"She des--"

"No, she didn't. I need to have a discussion about this." He turned towards Temari and her friends in annoyance. "I'm sorry, we'll catch up later, okay?" Then e marched both teenagers up the stairs and disappeared through a door.

"You don't suppose they hurt Murphy, do you?" Gaara asked.

"How did you know him again?" Kiba asked. "Wait, he's not the guy from Ame--"

"NO!" shrieked Temari. "He was my Native Studies 201 teacher sophomore year!" she shook her head frantically. "And he so kindly offered to let us stay in the--"

"If you say cafeteria…"

"No. Storage area. It's not our fault we're in the middle of nowhere. If _someone_ hadn't distracted us when we passed the _only gas station_, then maybe _someone_ and his friends wouldn't be in this situation!" she glared at Kiba directly.

"That's my line," Gaara said.

"We share."

Kiba inched away. Then he paused and started up with that insane grin. "Take me to your storage area," he said in a high, controlled, alien-like voice. Temari arched one eyebrow and shook her head in what looked like exasperation.

Temari led them down passages as Baki had instructed her.

"I thought I would tell you all, we're staying here two days. I promised Baki I would--"

"WHAT?! NUUUUUUUU!" Kiba sunk to his knees. "Please no helping."

"It was Gaara's idea."

"No it wasn't!"

"Why didn't Baki tell us?"

"Because he was upstairs breaking up a fight between a couple of hormonal teenagers. Apparently they have a love hate relationship. A _love_ hate relationship." She nodded knowingly. "That, and I can handle you better."

"Sure Temari. This coming from the lush female white rapper. Tupac was only funny the first thirty times."

"But hey, that's just the way it is."

"Okay, the first thirty one times."

* * *

Storage area was cold. Really, really cold. Naruto lay awake, staring at the basketballs against one corner, and debated whether he should go outside or stay in there. It wasn't a matter of which was warmer, considering even he was freezing no matter where he went. '_Can't be much colder than this,_' he figured. '_Besides, the concrete is probably holding all the cold._' 

Flunking science vocabulary anyone?

Naruto let himself out of the storage area and onto the basketball court. It had to be roughly five in the morning, seeing as the sun was just starting to brighten the sky, though it was far from rising any time soon. It was pretty, he thought, sitting under a basketball hoop and watching the sky. There wasn't much to do, watching a sky, but that was alright.

"Hey," a voice said. Naruto's head swiveled. Temari picked her way across the asphalt, her shoes clicking over the ground. "Nice out here, huh?"

"Yeah," Naruto said absent-mindedly.

"Contemplating the universe?"

"Yeah. How much do you know about world religion?" he asked. Temari shrugged.

"I took a class or two. Why do you ask?"

"Just wondering about the whole being gay according to world religions. Not that they'll sway me." He shrugged. "So…what does the great fountain of knowledge have to say, oh cup bearer?"

Temari blushed and giggled. "Which religion?" she asked.

"Voodoo."

Temari shot Naruto a very strange look. "Well, I don't know much about voodoo, but it's accepted according to voodoo tradition, assuming Roman Catholicism hasn't been foisted on the people due to being conquered by Spain or France."

"Buddhism?"

"_Huge_ array of points of view. On the whole, they don't condemn it."

"Shinto?"

"No definite ruling, but it's had its ups and downs. Modern Japan views it differently than fifty years ago Japan versus a hundred years ago Japan versus Edo period, if you know what I mean? It's so decentralized you can't really get a straight ruling."

"Wicca?"

"According to the Charge of the Goddess: 'All acts of Love and Pleasure are My rituals'. That sums it up in big neon letters."

"Taoism?"

"Hm…" Temari contemplated. "Taoism covers a lot of space. Usually it's about female and male energies, with the yin being female, and the yang being male. Heterosexuality would be viewed as balanced, with a yin energy and a yang energy. Homosexuality would be a relationship of two yins or two yangs and therefore unbalanced. But hey, Taoist nuns exchanged love poems in the Tang Dynasty."

"Informative. Scientology?"

Temari made a face. "I just kind of pretended I spoke only Thai that week."

"Unitarian Universalism?"

"They have a long-standing tradition of accepting all people, regardless of sexual orientation."

Naruto bit his lip. "Hinduism?"

Temari clutched her head and pulled the collar of her pajamas over her eyes. "No," she cried with mock horror. "Don't make me outline it! It's complicated! Well, not really, but it's late, so just look it up later."

"How very unhelpful," Naruto said with faux hurt. He gave his friend a light push. "What about Ásatrú?"

Temari raised one eyebrow _very_ high. "Why would you want to know about _that_? That's just a little obscure, at least in relation to you. I mean, it was _there_ in the books, but if you're asking me questions about religion, avoid the ones that are trying to be revived from the dead and look for ones that weren't dead in the first place. I never paid much attention."

"I'll remember that."

"Shopping for a religion?" Temari asked. Naruto shrugged.

"Thought I would ask. It can't hurt to know."

"Whatever. You have your reasons, no need to share them with me," Temari said offhandedly. "Any other religions you want the explanation on?"

"What about atheism?"

Temari just got up and walked back into the storage locker.

* * *

The next part was Kiba's fault. That much was clear from the start. When they woke that next day, you could just smell it. It was so inherently Kiba. Temari knew it was Kiba. She had Kiba-senses, and she _always_ knew when Kiba was going to make trouble for the occupants of Murphy. 

"What are you planning Kiba," she had asked when Baki banged on the storage room door. "Because what ever it is, I don't like it."

No one paid heed though. They had risen, double checked Murphy, and showed up at Baki's office. Baki looked mildly surprised to see them. When Temari, who actually paid attention, asked why, Baki replied that he had assumed they would have left to see the town.

She knew he was lying.

'_More like hoping,_' she thought. '_After all, it's Kiba…_'

It was Kiba's doing. Anyone would have wanted Kiba out of an understaffed high school he didn't attend as fast as possible. She shrugged it off, however, and managed to drag Kiba into the sun, into the car, and into the town.

The town was tiny. It must have had a hundred people _tops_, a cemetery, and a supermarket Temari had never heard of before. There were a few more buildings, but all in all, no one would have really cared if the sands of time were to cover this town. Except maybe the people of the town.

"Hey Temari," Kiba asked as they sat in the car. It was parked in a field and they were just _sitting._ "What do you know about the Navajo creation myth?" He looked around. Temari narrowed her eyes. '_Why would he care?_' she wondered briefly.

"Why?"

"Just wondering…" Kiba said sweetly. Kiba wasn't sweet. Temari didn't like sweet.

"You don't _wonder_ about stuff like that Kiba. _You_ don't wonder. Where's the ulterior motive?" she demanded. "I want to know why you want to know!" She shook her head wildly. Gaara looked on in mild concern.

"Temari, are you alright?"

"No! I KNOW KIBA IS PLOTTING!"  
Kiba blinked. "Or I could just be wondering about the Navajo creation myth," he countered. "Never mind. I don't want to know anymore." Temari ignored him, clutched her head, and crawled under a seat.

"I promised Baki we'd clean up the drama room in two hours," she called, her voice muffled by _stuff_.

"What do we need to clean up?" Naruto asked. Temari shrugged as best she could.

"I don't know. It's currently doubling as a boy's locker room."

Off to a running start.

It was _still_ Kiba's fault. Though he hadn't known it before, Sasuke knew now why.

Kiba had gone and gotten himself relegated to sitting in the van because he made Baki angry. So that meant more work for everyone who was not Kiba. So hence, Sasuke having to pick up dirty, disgusting, _moldy_ green-and-fuchsia boxers off the floor and filing them away by the last name written on them on the waistband in really hard to read handwriting was actually Kiba's fault.

"I am not touching those," Gaara said dully. "_Look _at them. There's _fungus _growing on the sleeve"

"You had a mushroom farm in fourth grade," Temari pointed out. Gaara shot her a death glare.

"In dirt. Besides, _you_ volunteered in Kakashi's classroom back when you were in ninth year and _you have no desire to have excessive amounts of contact with obnoxious snot nosed sixth years!_" His green eyes bored into his sister's head.

"You're right. I'm sure glad I'm just mopping." Then the blonde girl bustled away. "Come on Naruto, I need someone with lots of energy to run all the boxes back and forth into that locker over there." She pointed to the grey-green locker in the distance. "After it's been packaged and sprayed with cologne." She looked pointedly at Neji, who just looked miserable. Really, really miserable.

The underwear in the corner was gross. It was blue and thin. When Sasuke teased it out from under the lockers with a broom handle the odor that hit him was like someone had smacked him with a sack of manure that had been roasting in the sun for a week after being sprayed with cheap perfume and 'aroma of deceased aquatic vertebrae with gills'. Sasuke held his nose (and ignored the screaming from Neji) and prodded it. A cockroach fell out. Dead.

"Sweet Mother of a Million Demons," Temari screamed. "What on earth is that?!"

"It's a…" Sasuke picked up the strange article of clothing with a now-gloved (with an extra strength super endurance kitchen glove to be exact) hand. Then he recoiled in disgust, dropping it. "I think it's a--"

"IT'S A THONG!" screeched Naruto from behind Temari.

"Who in their right mind makes a blue cotton thong and wears it in a high school boys locker room? Moreover, who _leaves_ it there?" Shikamaru regarded the thong with distaste. Okay, so distaste is such a bland word to describe the look on Shikamaru's face. He was a genius after all. Revulsion, disgust, loathing, repugnance. Absolute hatred? Take your pick.

"It's not a blue cotton thong," Temari said, prodding it. "That blue stuff is mold. It's actually…a pink lacy cheetah print thong sold at Macy's that appears to have been sitting hear for _quite a while._"

"You know this how?"

"One of my friends has one."

No one said a word. Even the mold stopped growing.**

* * *

**

**Thong. Like...oh my god, thong. Ew. Anyways, I have my...me-ness in there. So, enjoy chapter.**

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	22. Day 22: New Mexico

**I was Temari's friend. The one she mentioned in the last bit. About the thong. **

Yes, the thong really did exist. When I was at the mall this one time with a couple of my friends who had a _problem_ with the way I dressed (pretty asexual pants and no-print no-logo tee shirts) they dared me to buy a thong because they wanted me to act more feminine. We call that not accepting people for who they are. Of course I was waaaaaaaay younger then and therefore didn't know that.

I don't know why they did it. More over, I don't know why I did it. It was pink. Cheetah print. Lacy. Never wore it. (Actually, I burned it with a book of matches from my parent's match collection. The matches were from South Dakota.) Okay, so you know Chas's deep, dark secret. OMG! Now get over it -.-

She doesn't own Naruto…or Krasnoyarsk.

* * *

Hyuuga Neji swung his feet back and forth, watching the dirt. The dirt wasn't actually doing much, but it was the only game in town. Gaara, Shikamaru, and Neji had been assigned as babysitters. It wasn't as if it were enough to just baby-sit Kiba. They were doing that too. Not only were they babysitting Kiba, however, but they were babysitting six 'lovable youngsters'. Temari and Baki seemed to have similar ideas in character building. 

"Kiba!" Neji's head swiveled to see Gaara staring wide-eyed at the dog-lover. "You should stop th-- Neji! Get over here!" Neji bounced up and darted over. Indeed, Kiba was on the roof of the church-cum-day-care-center and was staring at the children below in disdain.

"What? How is this bad? I'm not going to fall."

"Kiba, if you can get up there, they can get up there. If there is even the most minute chance that they could be hurt, Temari is going to roast us on a skewer," Gaara explained.

"Stop being troublesome and come down here."

"Or else what?" Kiba demanded.

"Or else I'll get Temari to go there after you."

Kiba groaned, but he was down there faster than he probably would have been, had the threat of Temari not been related. Temari was just scary. You just dealt with that. Now that Kiba wasn't setting a bad example (or rather, he was setting a slightly worse example), Neji, Gaara and Shikamaru decided to divide up the remaining children.

"Okay," Shikamaru said. "Gaara, you take Konohamaru, Moegi, and Udon. Neji, you keep an eye on Inari, Akane and Ajinako. I'll make sure Kiba doesn't act inappropriately. Shikamaru sighed and fixed his eyes on Kiba.

"I hate you," Akane said to Inari, wrinkling up his face. "I hate you and your dumb dog too."

Inari started to cry.

Kiba slapped Akane.

Shikamaru dragged them apart.

"Neji," Shikamaru said sharply. "Why don't you take them outside and keep them _far away from Kiba_." Neji bit his lip and motioned for them to follow. Inari followed sulkily. Akane followed Inari with a look of hate on his face. Ajinako didn't follow at all. '_Ajinako…smart, clever, witty, strange child. How fitting a name._' He shook his head. '_Why couldn't I end up with them?_' he asked as he watched Gaara, who was staring impassively as three children plotted on paper.

"Ajinako, could you follow me please?" Neji asked as politely as he could. "We need to all be together."

"Enhainamonoajinamono. Inscrutable and interesting are the ways people are brought together." Ajinako stared out the window. "You're Japanese, aren't you? I shouldn't have to translate. My mother said people who lose the old ways are a pathetic excuse for a race."

"Oh…" Neji said. "I speak Japanese."

"I should hope so," Ajinako scolded. "Do you know who Ohtagakirengetsu is?"

"No," Neji admitted. Ajinako rolled her eyes.

"Female waka poet, 1791 - 1875. She adopted the Buddhist name Rengetsu after her husband died."

"Waka?"

"Called Tanka in the modern day. A thirty-one syllable five line poem of which haikus are an offshoot. Keeping the old ways much?" Ajinako rolled her black eyes and fiddled with the ends of her slightly-greenish hair. '_I certainly see why her name fits her,_' Neji thought with a grimace.

"How long have you lived on the reservation?" Neji asked, trying to steer away from the fact that this little girl, who couldn't have been more than eight or nine, knew more about Japanese history and culture than he did. Then again, his brain was a little fried in the summer heat.

"Almost a year now. My mother was Navajo and Cherokee out of Oklahoma. My father was full Japanese. After my mother died, he thought that 'all that nonsense she had been filling my head with had better go to some good use' and he shipped me to live with my aunt."

"Oh," Neji said.

"Is that all you can say?" Ajinako demanded. Her dull yellow eyes rolled in annoyance. "You must not be very smart. What's your name?"

"Neji."

"You know I'm Ajinako Waizu. I'm from Land of Stone."

"Where?"

"Land of Stone. I figured since I calculated the morality rate there based on the hospital records of 2005 of a town whose name mean 'Land of Stone' in Japanese and that place had the lowest Morality Rate in the state, and I was born in the place with the highest Morality Rate, I figure I should have been born there."

"You're either brilliant or very, very twisted."

"Tensaitokyoujinhakamihitoe. There's but a fine line between genius and insanity."

* * *

"So now what?" Temari asked. Naruto shrugged. 

"We get food," he said. Temari glanced at Sasuke.

"You up for that?" she asked with a exhausted grin. "Or do we have to lug another thirty boxes of putrid underwear across a gym before you'll eat?"

"Food…" Sasuke groaned. "Or torture. But not this. This is above torture."

Temari laughed. "Well then. You two come with me, there's a supermarket down the street. We can buy some food there. Then we should probably see how Neji's doing. Baki told me that Ajinako is being watched today."

"Ajinako? Who's that?"

"Oh, one of the town kids. She's not such a problem herself except that she's kind of cryptic, but Neji would probably become so entranced that he's forget about everyone else. Konohamaru is there too, and his friends Udon and Moegi. Baki told me-- oh look, there they go now." Indeed, from their vantage point half way up a hill, they could see Kiba running around frantically in circles, chased by three normal looking children. Gaara was shouting at them and Shikamaru was looking on impassively, though probably not as impassively as he wished he could have.

"Where's Neji?" Naruto asked. Temari shrugged.

"Ajinako is probably monopolizing his time. She does that you know, according to Baki. They call her the town orphan. She lives with her aunt. That, and she tried to cause a mass uprising in the third grade reading room."

"Should we save them?"

"Akane dumped Inari's dog in the river last week."

"Downwards."

* * *

Sasuke was happy to be on the road again. Temari had informed Baki that though she really had enjoyed the brief span of time she had spent speaking with village elders ('_While we cleaned out the boy's locker room!_' Naruto thought acidly), she couldn't impose any longer. 

When it came time to say goodbye, the green-haired girl from the Land of Stone said goodbye to Neji.

"Take care of yourself Hyuuga," she said. "Keep your old ways."

"You too, Waizu," he replied. "Keep your wits sharp."

There was a long pause.

"Bye Neji," Ajinako whispered, wrapping pale arms around the older boy's waist. Neji returned her hug, patting her back and stroking the ends of her tangled green hair.

"I'll see you later Ajinako."

They parted. Gaara started up the van. Konohamaru, Moegi, Udon, Inari, Ajinako, and Baki offered to push. Murphy started rolling away. They left the reservation. The reservation that had it's own culture. Temari sighed ruefully. If only they had come sooner. If only she had come alone.

Sasuke turned his eyes to the scenery. It occurred to him that they were almost home, not much further. It had been just over three weeks, and yet it seemed like the next five days would pass quickly. He wondered briefly what would happen when it was all over. Orochimaru wouldn't be happy. Granted, the snake-like man almost never was with Sasuke if they were ever apart for more than a night.

"What are you thinking about Sasuke?" Naruto asked brightly from behind the dark haired boy. Sasuke shrugged, still staring out the window. Dusk had begun to settle, and somewhere in the distance he heard a coyote's far off song.

"What happens next."

"What does happen next?" Naruto asked quietly. "What does happen after now?"

"Later," Neji called from his spot next to Gaara.

"What happens later?" Naruto asked Sasuke, ignoring Neji's outburst into their conversation.

"That's what I'm still trying to figure out. I wonder if I'm trapped in a badly written Dear Abbey column," Sasuke replied, shaking his head.

"I knew a girl who was editor of her school newspaper and her some chick on the staff wrote one of those. She ended up killing it with her awesome axe of words," Temari called. Naruto ignored her. Sasuke glanced back at Naruto, who returned the look.

"Why do you think like that?" Naruto asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Because," said Sasuke, "all the advice I'm getting _sucks_."

"Advice about what?"  
"I don't know…how to cope, how to tell the person you like that you l--"

"You like someone?" Naruto burst out, interrupting his friend. Sasuke bit his lip. Temari just snickered. Snicker. Snicker. Snicker. Snicker. Lots and lots of snicker.

"Yeah," Sasuke said offhandedly. "But I don't think they like me back."

"I'm sure they do. Everybody likes you. All the girls at school do. All the girls that know you do! Except Temari, but we all know she and Shika--"

"Shut up!" shrieked Temari. "Leave me out of your heart-to-heart!"

Naruto shook off the girl's screaming. "Anyway, you should just ask her out. I'm sure she'll say yes. I mean, who wouldn't?" The blond boy grinned. Inside, however, he felt like someone had poured gasoline on his insides and lit a match. He had the vaguest feeling it was Temari behind that match, but he wasn't sure just why.

"Who said it was a girl?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto wrinkled his nose. "Who else would it be?"

It was then that Murphy, Sweet Sweet Lord of the Cosmos, hit a bump. Never mind the totally flat road. No. Murphy hit a bump and Sasuke and Naruto (no one else, mind you) went to the floor in a heap. The dark haired boy eyed the fair-haired male below him. He slid into a slightly more comfortable position, his forehead pressed against the blond boy's. He smirked at Naruto's seemingly innocent question, and the blond boy just stared back. That is, until he heard Sasuke's answer.

"You."

* * *

**I made him say it, now you are going to forget abou the thong thing (which I KNOW you are thinking about), you are going to review, and you are going to like it. Also, you should tell me that if after I finish this if I should move directly to the sequel or start some new story all together. And you are going to like it.**

Pronoia Advertising:

I love you. And you're going to like it.


	23. Day 23: New Mexico

**Because Chas is a loser, and strangely all of this takes place over one day and I can't bear to part with my nice little 1:1 ratio, you're going to have to pretend that basic laws of time don't apply. The day this takes place on is Day 23 of their trip. So be it. Deal. (Oh come on, the SasuNaru in this is SO worth humoring a procrastinating child, right?)**

**Oh, and another thing! I WON'T BE A 'CHILD' ANY MORE ON THE 18th! That's…3 days away! Yup, I'll finally FINALLY be a teenager. 13 on March 18. (You thought I was older, right? Right?) I require compensation. Like…fan art or really nice reviews. Yeah.**

**She doesn't own Naruto, any of the bands mentioned, or…Ljubljana.**

**

* * *

**

What Murphy, Cruel Cruel Lord of the Cosmos giveth, so shall he taketh away. Murphy his another bump, never mind the totally flat road, and Sasuke and Naruto were wrenched apart. Of course, they soon realized it wasn't Murphy who had caused this sudden wrenching. It was Gaara.

"We're here," he said loudly, smashing his foot into the brakes. He was in and out in a blink of one kelly-green eye and held out the usual four keys, three in one hand, Kiba's in the other.

Naruto grabbed his suitcase from the trunk and had his key from Gaara quickly. He pushed through the glass doors and was over at the elevator. He pushed the button and waited. He didn't wait long though, and with one quick glance behind him he impatiently ran for the stairs. He jogged up them, legs burning as he turned down three different hallways in search of room two sixty eight. He found it, slid the key in. The green light clicked on and he pushed open, tumbling into the room and kicking the door shut violently behind him.

"Oh my god," he said aloud, resting his head on the leg of the swivel chair. "Oh my god." He shut his eyes. "Plan now."

"You talk to yourself on a regular basis? Or is it just or me?" Naruto's head snapped up to meet Sasuke's gaze. The black haired boy knelt beside his friend.

Naruto stood up and sat on his bed. "Not sure." He drew his knees up to his chest and fixed his bright blue eyes on the dark ones that belonged to his current roommate. He smiled a little nervously. "You don't need to beat around the bush."

"No?"

"No."

Sasuke crawled to sit in front of Naruto. Both of them sat facing each other, eyes averted to the floor. Their cheeks were equally tomato red. Their stances were both guarded, equally vulnerable and afraid of what was to come after. Sasuke sat back on the shins of his slightly splayed legs, leaning backwards. Naruto leaned against the headboard, legs drawn up to his chest, chin resting on his knees.

"So…" Sasuke said quietly. Neither looked up to meet the other's gaze. They sat there for a few minutes in silence, the sounds of the city wafting through the thin glass of the hotel windows. Finally the two boys looked up in synchronization, glancing down again to the floor.

Finally Sasuke looked up. Naruto looked up a split-second later. Their eyes connected shyly. Sasuke bowed his head slightly, still looking at his friend.

"This is awkward," he breathed with a laugh that was somewhere between nearly-silent and nearly-humorless. Naruto hugged his knees tighter and laughed in return. The blond boy felt mildly sick to his stomach. Not in a bad way, just a little fluttery.

"Hey Sasuke?"

Sasuke looked up. "Hm?"

"Can I--" Naruto broke off with a blush. Sasuke leaned forward slightly, turning his head to one side. Naruto took a shallow breath. "Can I kiss you?" he asked quietly. Sasuke swallowed, shifting his weight onto his hands.

"Yeah."

The two of them moved forward at the same time. Naruto's eyes smashed shut. He moved forward slowly. Sasuke turned his head to the left a little, his right hand to the back of the blond's neck once they were in range. His eyes drifted shut slowly, lightly.

Their lips connected. It was gentle and chaste, not filled with days of pent up sexual frustration, but filled with years of love that had existed between them. Sasuke pulled back, lips lingering a second after their eyes clicked open.

"That wasn't so bad," Sasuke chuckled quietly. His normally pale face was bright red.

"No, it wasn't," Naruto agreed, his cheeks flushed. "Did…you want to do that again? I mean, if you want." He lowered his gaze again to the floor. Sasuke lowered his eyes as well, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Yeah."

Once again the two boys' lips connected again. Unfortunately, that was when Kiba, who had taken custody of one of the many extra keys, opened the door. There was a strangled scream and Sasuke and Naruto broke apart, blushing furiously.

"First it was Gaara and Neji, now it's you guys! Why is everyone making out?"

Sasuke, still bright red, looked up in confusion. "What about Shikamaru and Temari?"

Kiba rubbed his nose, which Sasuke vaguely noticed was covered in dried blood. "They had the door blocked with a swivel chair, but it wasn't blocked all the way…" Kiba trailed off miserably. "Just don't tell Gaara."

"Wait, they were--" Naruto broke off giggling. "And you walked _in_?"

"What can I say, my timing sucks. Get ready for dinner." Kiba walked out, and as the door shut, Naruto and Sasuke could hear him sobbing in the hallway, 'my eyes, my eyes'. Naruto laughed lightly.

"Almost feel sorry for him," the blond boy breathed. Sasuke smirked.

"Yeah. Come on, let's get ready for dinner." He leapt up and offered a hand to the blond teenager, who hoisted himself to his feet.

* * *

"Sasuke, you are driving," Gaara said flatly. Everyone in the car just stared. Gaara was not only willingly giving up his driving, he was actually foisting it on someone who didn't want to drive. That was like, the Murphy-Apocalypse. Okay boys, girls, and those outside the gender-binary, fire up the missiles and the bomb bunkers. The end of the world is coming and the amount of corn oil produced by the US each year was just enough to deep fried Delaware. Holy shit New Jersey just invaded Alaska, so I guess the constitution is out the window. Boy, Girls and Others, the Murphy-Apocalypse is coming…this could be a problem. 

"What?" Sasuke demanded.

"Drive," Gaara growled.

"What?"

"Are you deaf? I told you to get in the fucking front seat and drive my car." Gaara's green eyes sort of looked like someone had lit them on fire with a really big match. "So get off your ass and get into the seat, push down the gas and drive."

"Any particular reason you want me to drive?"

"No."

Naruto looked at Gaara strangely. "What has a stick up your ass?" he asked. Kiba just smirked. "Wait, is this about Shikamaru and Temari? Kiba, you shouldn't have told--"

"Shut the fuck up, you blond idiot," snapped Gaara. "Sorry, sorry."

Wow someone was in a bad mood. Eventually though, Gaara put one hand on the windshield, took a few deep breathes, and recovered. Now, seeing as the Murphy-Apocalypse was in full swing, he leaned forward and turned up the music as loud as it would go.

"We are going to listen to the music," he said, his tone no longer snappish.

"I don't want to listen to this!" complained Kiba. "It's Country!"

"What's wrong with Country?" demanded Temari.

"I want rap!" Kiba.

"I'll go rap or punk," Temari said, shrugging.

"Not rap," Neji cut in. "Not rap."

"Techno!" shouted Naruto. Everyone pretended they hadn't heard that.

"Panic! At the disco?" Sasuke asked. The groan that emitted from his companions was so great he just winced and kept quiet. "Meditation chants," Gaara said. "Or punk."

"Troublesome."

"Punk it is!" Temari shouted. "Get my mix CD from under the seat," she paused. "The one with My Chemical Romance, Tiamat, God Is My Co-Pilot, the Sex Pistols, and all my other _decent_ music on it. Oh come on Gaara," she chided as her brother looked through the Compact Disks on the floor. "It says 'Temari's Mix' on it in huge blue sharpie!" There was a protest from Kiba, Naruto, and Sasuke. Shikamaru and Neji just ignored it the music choice. The Sabaku siblings grinned and each other.

It was in that moment that some unspoken agreement between the two of them occurred. It was okay with Gaara if Temari and Shikamaru were involved on an intimate level (to be honest, it wasn't _okay_ per se, just tolerable). Gaara reached over Sasuke and pushed in his sister's CD.

Temari sang along to the music the entire way, since that was the first few songs. There were several different genres (Shikamaru, who actually knew somewhat about the history of punk, noticed a large amount of Queercore and stuff from the UK).

They arrived at the restaurant. It was oddly small.

"Where did you find this place Gaara?" Temari asked. It looked like a diner you might find on a sitcom about some trailer park in the middle of downtrodden Kansas. Gaara shrugged.

"The bellboy said it was good. Then again, the last time we had a conversation with a bellboy, it ended in him screaming queer and you screaming lawsuit." He sighed. "Should we go in or pretend we got lost, ask for directions, and drive aimlessly?"

They walked in.

Some lady with ugly hair greeted them. She was flanked on one side by a girl with decidedly non-ugly hair.

"Welcome to Jen's," said the Ug-Hair-Woman. "How may we help you."

"Welcome to hell, how may we fuck you," corrected the girl. Ug-Hair-Woman _roasted_ with her eyes. "What?" asked the girl indignantly. "I work here, and I still keep trying to tell people to save themselves."

"Actually," Gaara began, "we just needed directions."

Temari demanded they play Tiamat as loud as it would go.

Kiba's eyes were still bothering him.

And Sasuke and Naruto wouldn't stop blushing.

**

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**

**Compensation for living 13 years of whatever...I'll probably be done with this story on the 20th or 23rd. Then it's on to the sequel. **Pronoia Advertising:

It's my _birthday_ in three days. That's happy enough for me. That, and I made this chapter all SasuNaru-ish. You like it. Now review, give me obscene amounts of praise, and move on with your life. And then I'll update tomorrow and you can come back.


	24. Day 24: Arizona

**Hello all (I got lots of GREAT reviews wishing me a happy birthday, and so love goes out to those who were nice!). Due to plans, I didn't update until today. So this is really long now. Enjoy… **

She doesn't own Naruto or…what's the point? The same person gets it every time! Anyways, my author insert was the girl in Jen's. The one with the non-ugly hair. I don't own Kiba's bad timing. I think it's Sarge's…or not Sarge's. Not mine. Anyway, the warning for this chapter.

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Warning: This chapter appears to be written by a girl who is on some serious narcotics. She's not. She just ate a lot of cake and got a digital camera, a Bob Marley flag, and a KH2 Nobody's jacket (handmade by Lt. Commander Richie.) If you search 'Lunar Chasmodai' on deviantart, you'll see a picture of Lt. Commander Richie and I in matching versions. I'm on the right making the slightly odd scrunch-face.

* * *

Sasuke didn't like waking up. He hated it more in the middle of the night. It was worst when he lay awake, staring at the ceiling in a strange hotel room located in Phoenix, Arizona. He didn't want to wake the blond boy sleeping behind him, despite having done it a hundred times before. Sasuke flopped back and he heard Naruto shift. 

"Sasuke?" Naruto's voice asked as the blond boy shook himself awake. A hundred and one times. Naruto's blue eyes were one of the few forms Sasuke could make out in the pitch black hotel room.

"Did I wake you up?" Sasuke whispered into the dark. "I didn't mean to…"

"Of course you didn't," Naruto said with a sigh. "I was up before." They sat in silence. "Are you feeling okay?" Naruto sat up, looking down at Sasuke who lay below him. Sasuke sat up to face his friend.

"Not really. You know what I go through, you know what I've gone through, you know what I'll go through again when we get back to California. We've exhausted all the talking. You can stop hovering. I'm fine."

"That makes one of us?"

Sasuke blanched, his already pale face growing paler for some strange reason. '_What?_' his mind screamed in huge, thirty foot tall straight-from-Vegas bright shellshock pink neon lettering. The lettering blinked. '_What does he mean?_'

"What are you talking about?" Sasuke asked, carefully measuring out his words. Maybe he cared because Naruto looked so sad. Maybe he cared because he felt like he owed it to the blond boy, who hadn't gotten a decent night sleep in almost as long as he had.

"It's not like I want to go back either, you know. Every day, I've had to deal with some idiot who won't let me go out anywhere unless I have a 'proper escort'. Gaara has memorized practically the entire religious scripture, just so he appears as 'a very well versed young man and a fine companion'. Sure." Naruto lay back down, staring straight up at the ceiling. Tears rolled down his cheeks and collected in his ears. Sasuke climbed over to him, sitting on the younger boy's stomach.

"Don't cry," Sasuke whispered. Truth was, he had never actually learned how to deal with people who were crying. "It's going to be okay, I promise." Naruto had said that to him once. He still wasn't sure if it actually helped. He hoped it had.

"Why not? Why shouldn't I?" Naruto asked, his bottom lip trembling. "You're not the only one who has it rough. Yeah, I know your life is a million times worse than mine, but that doesn't mean mine it great."

Sasuke nodded, bending his head and touching his nose to Naruto's. "I know. I'm sorry for ever letting you think that. I know it's not easy for you." The dark haired boy stroked his finger along the scars that cut across the side of Naruto's face. Actions like that, _words_ like that, they were alien to the Uchiha, foreign and strange. Naruto stared up at the other boy almost helplessly, not moving at all. Their eyes locked for a moment before Naruto looked away. '_He looks,'_ Sasuke noted, '_like he did the time in the bathroom._' Sasuke shut his eyes and gently bent closer to his friend. The dark haired boy took a small breath before covering the other's mouth with his own.

It was scary how many times they could go through this, and Sasuke still couldn't seem to get used to it. For some reason, kissing your best friend, who you've wanted to kiss for a long time, always seems like it's a dream. At least, it felt like that for Sasuke. He wasn't sure about Naruto, but the boy under him was more definitely kissing him back.

Of course out in the parking lot, Murphy worked his demon work. Naruto rolled over, reversing the two boys' positions. By this time, their kiss had become frantically heated, mostly a long string of biting and nipping each others lips and trying to hold the other as close as possible. Sasuke panicked. He broke for air and tried to calm his erratic breathing, failing miserably at the latter.

"Sasuke? Are you okay?" Naruto let the other boy up. "Are you alright?" Sasuke choked on a few gulps of air but otherwise remained completely impassive. He didn't move at all, staring at the ceiling exactly as his friend had been just moments ago. His lips relaxed and parted to form words.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. "No matter how many time I see you, and I know it's you, I just can't stop think about…" he trailed off. Naruto nodded. The part of Naruto that no one who wasn't his friend seemed to notice was that Naruto was a very understanding person. A scary understanding person. No, we the anonymous plural second person people (cousins to the anonymous plural third person people 'they') don't mean academics understanding. So what if a blond boy can't understand trigonometry. He didn't want to have some creepy math-obsessed job. No, we mean he understood people. At least, sometimes he did. Other times he was oblivious. Mostly oblivious. But when it was shoved in his face, he understood.

"It's okay," Naruto assured the other boy.

Sasuke shook his head. "But it's not okay! It's not alright!" he angrily bit his swollen bottom lip. He winced in pain and released it. Naruto always made him feel strange. Naruto always made him feel bizarre. Not only bizarre, but like he couldn't keep a handle on his emotions. One second, for instance, the dark haired boy was reliving every single moment he had spent in Orochimaru's bed in fast motion. A second later, he was yelling. Was it always like this? Sasuke hoped it wasn't.

Naruto took Sasuke by the hand and lifted him up into a sitting position. He pulled the other boy into a hug. It was like hugs they had shared in far away sixth grade, when Sasuke had first told Naruto about Orochimaru ('_before the _really_ bad stuff started,_' Sasuke thought).

"I promise I won't hurt you, okay?" Naruto assured quietly. "I promise."

Sasuke believed him.

* * *

Uzamaki Naruto, born of two human parents, born at the end of October, not on a Friday, was probably the unluckiest person alive that morning. Whose fault? Gaara's of course! The redhead had practically kicked down the door (key? What key!) and demanded they get up, eat breakfast, get into the car and get ready to drive until they got to Los Angeles, because they were going home. 

Naturally, Naruto and Sasuke weren't big fans of this plan.

"I don't want to go back," Sasuke complained.

Gaara rolled his eyes. "It's only a matter of time until someone calls the cops when they notice you're missing Sasuke. It's been three weeks. I'm not letting my sister get blamed because you don't want to go home."

"I don't want to go home either," Naruto piped up.

"Hey, that guy who claims to take care of you? You know him, right Naruto? He's going to want you back when he figures out you're not at some funky religious resort. Not to mention Spring Break ends on Monday."

"Can we stay another day?"

"No."

"I want to see the Grand Canyon," Temari said suddenly. Naruto and Sasuke turned on her in slight surprise. Gaara looked half mortified, half confused.

"Since when do you care?" he asked.

Temari smirked. "Since I know it would annoy you, dearest little brother."

"That it?"

"Nope. Kankuro told me to keep you away until at least Monday. According to him, 'that stack of videos won't watch itself'. That, and he has a new girlfriend. I'm sure they want some--"

"SWEET GOD MY EYES!" shrieked Kiba. "Sorry, repressed memory. That's your fault Temari. Well, Shikamaru's too, but mostly yours. You were the one who blocked the door with that stupid swivel chair."

"Now now, don't take it out on the chair," Temari chided. Kiba _smoldered_.

"It wasn't Shikamaru. Shikamaru is too lazy to block a door. If he did, however, he would have done a better job! You know, SO PEOPLE CAN'T GET IN AND SEE YOU!" Kiba shook his head wildly from side to side.

Temari chuckled. "Wow Kiba. I can only imagine how far you'll get with Hinata…"

"Hey! Leave her out of this!" Kiba argued.

Further chuckling. "Or maybe you prefer the swivel chair. Or your left--"

Smack!

Now, most would assume it was Temari being hit by Kiba. No, it was Gaara shoving down on the gas, twisting just right on the driveway of the motel, and starting the van moving.

"How did you do that?!" Kiba demanded. "Did you know how to do that all along and just made us push for your sick love of watching hot, sweaty teenagers push huge vans? That's worse than the fetish videos!" Kiba waved his arms wildly. Gaara sighed.

"No Kiba. I just parked up on the edge of the curb and when I pushed forward, it fell off and started moving into the edge of the gutter. No, it's not some kind of pervert conspiracy. No one wants to see any more of you then they already have to."

"Oh shove a pencil in your pocket," Kiba growled.

Gaara picked up a green and purple mechanical pencil and shoved it into his jean pocket. Kiba made an obscene gesture and growled.

"Real scary," Temari said drolly. "Gaara, I want your pencil."

"No!" shouted Kiba, grabbing the pencil. "It's mine."

"Stop being such an antidisestablishmentarian."

Kiba blinked.

"What are you on?" he asked suddenly. "No really, what have you been _smoking?_ No one actually uses that word in a sentence! It's obscure! What is the word coming to!?" Kiba waved his arms frantically.

"I have but two highs," she said. "Alcohol and good s--"

"No!" shrieked Gaara. "You aren't allowed to say it, ever!"

Temari cast a glance at Neji before making a slightly obscene gesture behind her hand. Kiba, who saw this, laughed and glanced from Neji to Gaara and back again, eyes shifting and mouth trying to restrain laugher.

Gaara gagged.

* * *

The Grand Canyon was breathtaking. It made Temari feel like jumping of it and taking to the skies in the form of a red hawk. She felt totally breathless and completely filled, absolutely able to feel every feeling she had and ever had had before, and yet, unable to put any of that into terms and words. The blue stretched in a dome that was the sky. It curved upwards and over, painted with a few splashing of a hawks and eagles that flew far over the land. 

"It's beautiful," Temari breathed to the sun as it touched her face with spindly fingers.

"It is," Kiba said from behind her. The blond girl turned around. She smiled at her friend who looked completely perfect standing there in the light. It was sort of like a picture. Temari vaguely wished she hadn't loaned the camera to Gaara, who was photographing more than just scenery. "It is," Kiba continued, "but it's not nearly as breathtakingly remarkable as you are."

"You know, it should really be Shikamaru who says that to me," she said with a light laugh. "But somehow, it's nice to hear you say it." She sat on the dirt. Kiba followed suit, sitting beside her. They sat in quiet, the only sounds the sound of the burros that went down into the canyon with their teenage riders. "Will it be hard for you, going back? Not driving all day?" Temari asked, finally breaking the quiet.

"It'll be hard to adjust to having someone besides Gaara dictate the schedule," Kiba muttered. "Not that that would be a bad change. Gaara is a little--"

"Inconsistent? I know. It's been seventeen years and I _still_ don't know his favorite food. Of course, I could just be a bad sister." She cast her eyes down. Kiba looked concerned. Well, as concerned as Kiba looks.

"You're not a bad sister," he protested weakly. "Gaara is just fickle."

"Wow Inuzuka, fickle. Big word." Temari laughed. Kiba laughed it off too. "Sorry, that was mean of me. Am I mean person?"

"Only when we deserve it," Kiba assured her. "Only when we deserve it."

The hawk soared overhead.

* * *

Driving. Driving through reservations. Driving through that which is not a reservation, and yet, refuses to be anywhere else. It hovers just between being somewhere and being nowhere. It's everywhere, just where you aren't looking. Driving. Driving through that which is not a reservation, and yet, refuses to be anywhere else. 

There was some strange, pseudo-reason for them to exist at that moment. As they drove along that thin, endless strip of road that divided somewhere and that nowhere that lingered just on the other side of the horizon, they knew, in one massive, collective thought, that they had a reason to exist.

The gas station came up on their right. It was small, like the one in Texas, but unlike the one in Texas, it didn't reek of desperation. The gas station in Texas had been a crack whore in the city. This was a child, eight maybe, with gold hair and green eyes, running over a meadow and disappearing into thin air. It was laughing. The gas station was laughing. It didn't exist anywhere. It existed in the nowhere that was just barely alive. It existed in the silvery spider web caught between a leaf and the sky.

"Stop there," Temari said quietly. Gaara slowed, his green, eyeliner-lined eyes transfixed to the gas station. "Stop," she repeated. Without hesitation her brother pressed the brakes. They stopped, not haltingly, but just froze softly in front of the gas station.

Temari got out of the van. As soon as her feet touched the ground, she felt like she was stepping on a massage chair. The whole world buzzed with shimmering sound and light. The girl walked forward, hand suddenly outstretched as if to touch a nonexistent doorknob.

The others followed. Was it the gas station at the end of the universe? Why did they feel that draw to it? It was just a place that had slipped through the cracks of reality. Gaara stopped Murphy in the middle of the deserted street and followed his sister. The girl opened the door slowly and stepped inside.

The gas station smelled of old. It smelled like the books covered in thin, blue dust in the very back of the library, where no one seems to bother going anymore. There looked like there should have been cobwebs clinging to the corners of the beams, dank with cloyingly shade of ages past, but for some reason there weren't.

In one corner sat a rocking chair. It looked like it was made of oak and very possibly been left out in the rain. It rocked back and forth, slowly, sadly. Temari, who seemed to have noticed it first, stepped forward to touch it, to comfort the piece of battered furniture. It made her feel sad. It made her feel like she was needed.

"You can take it if you want," someone said from somewhere in the darkness that was the backroom of the gas station. Temari moved to turn, but some part of her didn't want to leave the chair, didn't want to abandon it in its time of need. Slowly, slowly it rocked back and forth on it rockers.

"Temari?" Gaara breathed into the stagnant air. Temari reached and moved closer to the chair as she turned.

"Yes?" she asked in the same breathless tone. "What is it?"

"Are we going to take it with us?" the red-haired boy asked. Temari shut her eyes, opening them when she had turned back to the chair.

"Yes. We will take it with us." She reached out again to the chair. Her fingers graced over its splintering surface, ruffles in the wood pricking at her outstretched hands. She lifted it gently and cradled it. Lighter than expected, the chair quivered in her arms. "We will take it with us." She walked out, her six friends behind her. They followed her, wondering why she wanted a chair, beat up, broken, abused as this one.

They never asked. Temari lay the chair gently in the backseat of the car and climbed in. With one quick glance over her shoulder at the gas station, she climbed into the car. Gaara followed, getting into the driver's seat silently. Kiba and Naruto ever remained silent, shutting the doors normally and yet not casting a sound.

Strangely, the car just went. It didn't even require the usual pushing. Gaara just placed his foot on the gas and pressed, starting Murphy up and away from the gas station. They moved slowly forward, gaining speed, and drove again along the strip between the somewhere and the nowhere that lingered just over the horizon.

After the experience of the gas station, no one could remember what occurred next. It was like they were sleeping, but still, no one could recall a single event or conversation after that. Even Gaara, who barely sleeps felt like he had been completely wiped of the memories. Temari just sat in the back by the chair, checking it over with light hands. When they got to the hotel, still in Arizona, the world snapped back into focus.

"We're hear," Gaara called. "Come on you guys. Leave the chair in the car Temari…don't lose the keys Kiba…Naruto, don't forget your suitcase, I'm not going to go down here with you in the middle of the night and I don't think Sasuke wasn't to either…" he called reminders over the hot wind of Arizona. "Sasuke, stop provoking him."

"You're getting good at this," Neji said from behind the red-head. Gaara turned.

"What?"

Neji smirked. "You've gotten good at keeping the world moving. I'll miss it when it ends." He sighed. "When it ends. Does it have to end? Is there a reason we have to go back to our every day lives?"

Gaara shrugged. "After a while, this would be our every day lives. I'd start to miss the world of the mundane, wouldn't you?"

Neji shook his head. "Traveling in a van with you around the country? I would never miss that." He stared up at the sky, complete with wisps of white clouds. "It's great. It makes me wonder if destiny really could be happy, you know?"

"I know," Gaara said.

"We should go upstairs. I think a couple of your charges are getting busy."

"What are you-- HEY! TEMARI! STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!"

* * *

Sasuke collapsed on his bed. He didn't like beds, actually. In fact, he had a certain hatred for them. They seemed to like to cause him pain. Even when he was a little kid, before beds were really malevolent, he was constantly bumping his knees on them and injuring his ankles. Then beds became horrible instruments of torture. All in all, Sasuke _hated_ beds. 

Naruto bounced onto his bed. He really liked his bed. He always had. It was _safe_. There was some unspoken rule in his house, there always had been, you don't touch anyone when they are asleep. It was just like that. So waking up each morning to the sound of a buzzing alarm clock always made him mad. He didn't want to be hassled right after leaving his sanctuary.

"The gas station," Naruto said. The dark haired boy turned to his friend ('_Lover?_' he wondered).

"The gas station," he echoed. "It was bizarre."

"On the edge of nowhere," Naruto continued.

"And everywhere," Sasuke added.

Naruto got up, stretching his arms up. He pounced on Sasuke's bed and sprawled out on it. Sasuke tensed, relaxed, and looked down at the younger boy with one eyebrow arched high above his black eye.

"What are you doing?" he asked. Naruto shrugged, stretching out and sitting up.

"I don't know," he said rather aimlessly. "Are you okay?"

"No," Sasuke replied flatly. "I don't want to go back."

"We have to," Naruto said sadly. "It's not as if I want to go back either. We should just enjoy what we have left while it lasts, right?" He grinned wryly, wrapping his arms around Sasuke's neck and dragging him down. "Right?"

"Right," Sasuke said absentmindedly. He rolled over onto his friend ('_Lover?_' he wondered again. '_Yes…lover._'). This resulted in massive protests from Naruto. Sasuke shut him up quickly though, taking hold of the blond boy's lips with his own and nibbling on them long enough to coax a moan out of him. The Uchiha boy slid his hands slowly down to the younger boy's hips, tracing the outline of his jeans.

Kiba took that moment to burst in.

"MY EYE--" he started. "Hey, you still have clothes on," he observed.

"Damn!" Temari called.

Kiba turned around. "Pay up!"

Sasuke and Naruto slunk all the way to dinner.

* * *


	25. Day 25: Arizona

**All the lyrics in this chapter? Me. I wrote them. All of it. Well, for most of the funny stuff I just mixed and matched words. Oh hail the smartness that is my word chopping. Then the last bit is 'Chas-stop-drinking-tea'. The lyrics are also 'Chas-next-time-don't-use-your-crack-lyrics-to-fill-space-because-you-procrastinated'.**

**She doesn't own Naruto...or Brumal. Who you need to read now. I'm serious. Like, now. Go. She owns all the songs though (well...most of the lyrics anyway.)**

**

* * *

**Temari, apparently, wanted her booze again. No one liked this new development. It was troublesome. Gaara especially, who only made people listen to music when he was angry and he was using it as punishment. Why did music have a lick to do with it? The answer was simple. 

"Ninety-nine (thousand four hundred sixty) bottles of beer in the car,

Nine-nine (thousand four hundred sixty) bottles of beer,

Gulp one (thousand six hundred fifty) down,

Pass them around,

Not enough bottles of beer in the car.

Ninety-eight bottles of wine in the car,

Ninety-eight bottles of wine,

Take one down,

Pass it around,

Not enough bottles of beer in the car,

Ninety-seven bottles of port in the car,

Ninety-seven bottles of port,

Take one down,

Pass it around,

Not enough bottles of port in the car,

Ninety-…"

It was then that Temari paused.

"What comes after ninety-seven?" she asked. "Oh well."

"Not enough bottles of scotch in the car,

Not enough bottles of scotch,

Take one down,

Pass it around,

Now there's even less scotch in the car."

There was a vote then.

"I say we throw her in the back and muffle the singing with pillows," Kiba threw in.

"How about we get her to drink enough to fall asleep," Neji suggested diplomatically. Gaara shook his head.

"She has an insane tolerance for alcohol," he called over 'not enough whiskey in the car'. "If she wants to sing, she is going to sing." There was a long, silent pause with the exception of 'not enough bloody cognac'.

"I like Kiba's idea."

"Me too."

"Don't believe it!"

"Close enough."

And so, they tossed Temari in the back and tried, most successfully, to block out the noise that was 'not enough sherry in the car'. Of course Naruto, who happened to have an aunt-by-way-of-foster-parent named Sherry laughed until Temari switched over to lamenting about the lack of gin. When Temari got to Brandy, this started Naruto laughing again, seeing as Sherry's cousin's name was Brandy.

"I can't drown her out," wailed Kiba.

"Not enough bloody rum in the car!"

"We could drink ourselves into oblivion."

"What about me?" demanded Gaara. "I don't want to listen to her."

"We could listen to real music," Naruto suggested. Gaara shuddered but ended up agreeing.

"What are we listening to?" he asked the group of still-sober teenagers. The instant those ungodly, debate-sparking, horrid words were out of his mouth, he regretted them and wanted them back from the car.  
"Rap!"

"Not rap!"

"Techno!"

"Panic! At--"

"SASUKE LIKES EMO MUSIC!"

"It's not emo, it's--"

"EMINEM! FIFTY CENT! EMINEM! FIFTY CENT!"

"Not enough bottles of hard-- No! _I will not allow those fake rappers to spout their disgrace to the art!_ NEVER SPEAK THOSE NAMES WITH ANY KIND OF ESTEEM IN MY PRESENCE! Not enough bottles of hard lemonade in the car…no seriously, not enough bottles of hard lemonade…"

"Punk. We are listening to punk."

"Only you like it! Temari doesn't count!"

"But I'm driving. And there's a chance she'll be silent if we pacify her with Queercore."

"Too true, too true."

* * *

They hit the California border around three in the afternoon and Sasuke immediately felt like he was home. Of course, it could have been that Neji had stopped talking and joined Temari in her drunken rendition of 'If we were a movie'. 

"If we were a movie,

You'd be the right guy,

And I'd be the best friend,

That you fall in love with,

In the end we'd be laughing,

Into the sunset,

But we're not a movie,

So that's not how it happened,

'Cuz I blew your head off,

For cheating with that bloody skank,

Now I am a laughing,

And you are a dying,

I am a running,

Into the sunset,

If we were a movie,

In the end we'd be happy,

But we're not a movie,

That's not how it happened!"

"Oh my god," Kiba said. "She has inducted him into her cult of singing while drunk!"

"Neji never struck me as someone that could go very long before he passed out. Hell, he is practically dead after two rounds."

"It's the magic of the cult," insisted Kiba. "She made him do it. He didn't mean it. She made him drink all the alcohol and now they're both drunk and then Sasuke is going to totally take advantage of Naruto because Gaara will be too busy keeping Temari and Shikamaru apart and then I'll have to pay Temari seven fifty nine and now that we're in California there's _tax_--"

"Kiba," Gaara said calmly. "Shut up before I make you shut up."

"What are you going to do?"

"Drug you, record them singing, and make you listen to it for the next forty-eight hours once you're conscious again," Gaara replied calmly. Kiba didn't say a word.

Naruto, in a moment of utter clarity, turned on the radio. Loud, angry electric guitars blasted through the van, ripping to shreds all peace that Shikamaru might have found in his novella. '_And I was just getting to the good part,_' he thought bitterly.

There's some part of me that,

Wants to hurt you baby,

Wants to shred you,

Rip you baby,

Wants you to bleed on the floor,

It's making me crazy,

I want to see you in pain,

The hunger is,

Driving me insane,

Hey baby please,

Do this for me,

Hurt baby,

If you love me you'll cry,

It's all I ask,

Just hurt baby,

Bleed baby,

Pain for you baby,

So me,

I can hold you,

Make it better baby,

We can bleed baby,

With razors as our nightlights,

And a lullaby of screams,

Hey baby bleed,

And I'll hold you in my dreams.

"This is scary," Naruto observed.

"I agree," Sasuke said. "Maybe we should turn it off." It switched to the next song.

It might destroy me,

But I'm gonna sacrifice my body,

To kill the one that I hold in true contempt,

It might cost me dearly,

I'll pay a tribute yearly,

To the man behind the mask,

What ever the illusion asks,

If only I can kill the one I once held in my heart,

Yeah I'm talking to you…

I'm gonna rip you apart!

Sasuke turned off the music.

"Glad that's gone," Naruto breathed. "I mean, it was okay but kind of-- hey Sasuke? Are you alright?" The blond boy poked the older boy gently. "Are you okay?"

"Itachi used to have that on CD. I remember when he was twelve, just before it started, he went to this concert. He came back completely weird. I guess the lead singer kissed him when she signed his CD. She was pretty and all, but I don't see what the big deal was. He played this song for hours afterwards though." The dark haired boy sunk back into the seat.

"I'm sorry."

"It makes me think of him. Not just because of the memory, but the words remind me of him too."

"I'm sorry," Naruto repeated. He placed his lips gently on Sasuke's forehead. He dragged them lower, stopping at Sasuke's cheek and pulled back. "It's gone now." He licked Sasuke's neck with a soft, timid pink tongue. Sasuke leaned against the younger boy's mouth and sighed.

"I know, I know. Just memories, you know?"

"Of course. Maybe you should try some of Temari's stuff. I'm pretty sure she's singing some rendition of the Little Mermaid. I don't think she's talking about love though with all that red. Not looking too distressed."

"Ah, but if I was dead drunk," Sasuke reasoned, "I wouldn't be able to enjoy this." He pushed Naruto back, clasping his lips over the younger boy's. Naruto responded immediately. They didn't even hear Shikamaru and Kiba's snorts of annoyance.

Kiba missed Hinata.

Shikamaru was angry because his friend was the one singing songs drunk with his girlfriend.

Naruto didn't really care. By the time Naruto's shirt was off, Sasuke didn't really care either.

**

* * *

**

**O.o See that?! IT'S IMPLIED...WHATEVER!11!!one1!eleventyone!**I do appear. Just not actually appearing. I'm mentioned though.

Pronoia Advertising:

The universe doesn't revolve around you, but your own world certainly does.


	26. Day 26: California

**I was the lead singer that Itachi liked that was mentioned ever so briefly. I wrote the stuff that appeared in the story, so I deserve one semi-dream aspiration.**

**No, it is not over yet. 28 chapters total. I no own.

* * *

**

They stayed in Los Angeles that night. When everyone was sober, awake, and all the rum was _really_ gone, Neji wished they had followed the religious scripture. Naruto made a note that if they ever went on another road trip, they would most definitely stick to that scripture. It was a good scripture. So they stayed In LA and Neji was Angry at Those Who did not Enforce the Rules.

After their brief stop over in Los Angeles, they were going home. The last day of life on the road before they resumed their everyday lives and moved on, leaving the best road trip and greatest near-month of their short lives so far.

Neji would go back and face his family. He would probably end up staying with Gaara, Kankuro and Temari for a while. He bit his lip nervously, staring out the window as he rocked slowly back and forth with the rhythm of the van. He was going to his new home.

Gaara would go back as a man and not a boy. He was changed, not the sociopath he once was, not obsessed only with objects and the memory of sandcastles long ago washed away. He would go back and see his brother again, try to change the world for the better. He was going to his old home.

Temari would go back as a woman. She discovered her roots, love, tolerance. She found a way to love without sacrificing her own individuality. She had found her future with the man she loved, the one she would spend the rest of her life with. She was moving on. She had sworn off her drinking habits ("Last time, really!" she had said). She was going to her new future.

Shikamaru would go back and stop. He had been living on for years, years of going on day after day without ever getting anywhere. Now he could stop and not get anywhere without having to plug on. He had Temari for that now. Ever since he was a little boy, he had tried just to keep moving forward. He could stop. He could rest. He was going to his past.

Naruto would go back and face what his demons. For too long he had been tormented and tortured by the man the courts had put him in the care of. It wasn't like Sasuke: no physical pain was endured. It was just the emotional build-up of day after day, just trying to get by without making anyone too angry. He was going to his fight.

Sasuke would go back and run from his demons. For too long he had just taken beatings and worse. He was done. He couldn't fight back when he returned. He could run though, fight later. He could survive like this. He had what he needed, the blond boy that, reflecting back on it, he realized had kept him sane for so long. He was going to flee.

It was Temari's idea to see the movie. It was part of her massive 'let's pretend for one more minute that our lives can stay like this'. The theatre in the heart of Camarillo was quite normal. They paid for tickets and snaked into the pitch-black theatre. They found seats in the completely empty hall.

The movie was a blur. Temari remembered hugging Shikamaru's arm frantically during 'the scary parts' and Shikamaru remembered holding her in return. Neji remembered being _groped_ through half the film until he eventually gave in to kissing Gaara, who remembered _liking_ that. Sasuke remembered falling asleep halfway through, his head resting on Naruto's shoulder as the younger boy tucked strands of dark hair behind his ear. No one remembered what they saw or what it was about. Actually, not true, Kiba remembered, but he figured he should keep it to himself, so as not to completely boggle his friends.

The seven of them decided to spend the last night before they all returned home at Gaara and Temari's. Temari, Gaara and Kankuro were well off to say the least. Temari apparently had quite a few scholarships to live off, and made quite a little profit off rapping on the side. Kankuro managed to have a fairly high paying job that everyone had very in-depth conversations about and yet never cared to ask what it was ("It's not male prostitution, I can tell you that much!")

Kiba was wowed. "It's like, a freaking mini-mall in here!" he cried. Kankuro rounded a corner just as Kiba ran for the corner. They collided. "Watch where you're go-- Kankuro!"

"Kiba? Kiba! Hey! You look older and slightly more mature!"

"Your sister is responsible for that," Kiba said flatly. Kankuro raised an eyebrow and glanced at Temari. Kiba blinked, then caught on. "I learned how to tolerate punk and her hatred of Fifty Cent."

Kankuro's face returned to normal. Or, at least as normal as one with his make-up can look. "Oh. Yeah. She's been like that for a really long time with the hatred of Fifty Cent. Eminem too. Two years ago? Three years ago maybe, she went to a rally, and when she came back, she wouldn't stop coughing for a week."

"So _that_ was where my Eminem CD went-- Temari, that cost money!" Kiba turned back to Kankuro. "Kankuro, this could be the start of a beautiful friendship."

"Good!" Temari cried from the living room. "Maybe you'll take up rock instead of that--" she was cut off by mumbling from beside her. "Gaara, show Neji where the bathroom is. Kankuro, go show Gaara your sixties psychedelic rock collection. Kiba, please try and learn to love Hendrix. Please."

Temari bustled off into the kitchen and paused by the phone. "Hey, take-out? I'll get ramen!" There was a squeal of approval from Naruto in the next room "Okay, I'll call from the Oriental place down the block. It's good. Really good." She picked up the phone and dialed. "Hey, this is Temari…yeah, I want an order of orange chicken, an order of miso soup, ditto fried prawns, ditto chow mien, some spicy, beef with broccoli, three orders of rice and ten bowls of ramen…yes, I did say ten…yeah, Naruto is here again. I'll swing by to pick it up in half an hour." She hung up the phone. "I need to tip that waitress. She remembers Naruto's name. Nowhere but Ichiraku does that."

Sasuke, Shikamaru and Naruto watched television. Well, Shikamaru watched television and Sasuke and Naruto tried really hard to watch television. Of course, after a while, Shikamaru saved them from themselves.

"Why don't you guys stop watching TV and go talk or whatever. This is rotting your brains. You got enough of that already." The lazy boy turned a hair to face the television better and soon became engrossed in the flicker images of the discovery channel, which no one knew they got.

Sasuke and Naruto made their way up to the guest bedroom. It was at the top of Gaara and Temari's ramshackle house, tacked on with nails, boards, and the sheer willpower of an anthropology major in the summer.

"So today is the last day," Sasuke said emotionlessly. The two boy sat facing each other on the floor. "Then the dream ends."

"The bubble pops."

"It's all over."

"We should really make the best of it, shouldn't we?" Naruto said with a wry smile.

"I couldn't agree more," Sasuke agreed, pushing Naruto backwards to the floor. He pushed the younger boy's shirt off, clamping his mouth on the other's collarbone.

Naruto tried to remember if they had locked the door. Of course, trying became wistful hoping, and eventually, the only thought in the two teenager's heads was each other. And of course, how they were going to smuggle the sheets into the wash. '_That could be a problem._'

* * *

When Sasuke and Naruto's disappearance came to attention, everyone reacted differently. Temari demanded money from Kiba. Kiba and Kankuro just locked the door and turned up the Grateful Dead louder. Neji and Gaara were already preoccupied with their own whatever. Shikamaru just smirked. He decided he liked the Discovery Channel. 

Naruto didn't come down for ramen until it was cold. Of course, he was hot enough to heat it up himself (but the microwave helped a little).

That day Sasuke and Naruto learned tow very important lessons:

1. Do not throw sheets out window. Especially not when there are people around. White and sticky does not go with the décor of the lawn. The Tibetan Sand Sculptures don't go with the lawn either, but try telling that to Temari and Gaara. Better yet: don't.

2. Do not keep secrets from Temari. Important to keep in mind that she is in charge of the décor of the lawn. Keeping secrets from Temari is bad. Especially when she has money riding on it. _Especially_ when she is in control of the ramen.

Naruto remembered just why the Nondenominational Road Trip Religious Scripture was so important.

* * *

**Due to the T rating and Chas's fear of writing lemons, you are going to have to use your imagination with that part. You never know though, there is a sequel (2 more chapters to write!) and the language might make it M. Why waste a perfectly good M rating on a couple of nasty words:smirk:.**


	27. Day 27: Sabaku Residence

**Second to last chapter! Second to last chapter. Because one of my reviewers likes it so much, I hereby give the disclaimer question once more. (Last chapter has super-special disclaimer. Sort of.) Also, this is technically day 26 still, but they're pulling an all nighter, are going to sleep all of day 27 and return home day 28. Also, I was the waitress who remembered Naruto. This chapter is…weird. I'm telling you though, once and for all, I'm a ShikaTema/SasuNaru/GaaraNeji shipper. Forever and always. Yes there might seem like otherwise implied/thrown in your face with neon gas. Oh well. It's still really those pairings. **

Lots of reference to sex. Not as much to alcohol.

She doesn't own Naruto…or Saphos (she's a person.)

* * *

"Pass the marshmallows." 

"I think you should stop now Kiba," Temari said.

"Oh, you're just bitter Kankuro got us beer and you're stuck with grape juice," Kiba said with a laugh. "Okay, Kankuro, we need to skip the next song because of you know who saying you know what." He jerked his head at the CD player.

"Wha-- oh THAT song." Kankuro flicked passed song number 14. Kankuro and Kiba had made a mix tape of all the different genres of music. Rap, Punk, Rock, Techno (shiver), 'Emo Music' ("It's not Emo Music!"), a little bit of Pop (a LITTLE TINY ITTY BITTY bit), and some country.

"You put Eminem on there, didn't you?" Temari demanded. Kiba looked guilty.

"We're not making you listen," he argued.

"You're right," she said, taking a deep breath. "I can't believe I said that. Anyway, must not give energy. No energy. I'm like a giant anti-energy ball. I am a ball of anti-energy."

"Anti-energy balls," Kiba said in a slightly soothing voice.

"Anti-energy balls," Temari echoed.

"I have anti-energy balls."

"I have ant-- KIBA!"

Temari didn't put any energy into the music, but she did put energy into tackling Kiba, belting him down with his own belt and shoving sixteen marshmallows into his mouth. "Say chubby bunny now bitch!" she cried. "CHUBBY BUNNY!" She shook him wildly.

"Hey Temari," Neji said, tugging on her arm. "Why don't we--ooh that looked painful-- why don't we actually play chubby bunny? You can shove marshmallows in Kiba's mouth," he coaxed. Naruto giggled and Sasuke blushed at this last sentence. Perverts. They were glared behind the couch.

"Fine," Temari said flatly, letting Kiba up. "You start Neji." She passed the marshmallow bag to Neji. (Kankuro has a little problem not eating marshmallows. Blame his fifth grade teacher). Neji eyed it and shoved one in his mouth.

"Chubby bunny," he said without much difficulty.

He passed it to Gaara, who shoved one in his mouth. "Chubby bunny," Gaara said.

He passed it to Sasuke, who eyed it and shoved one of the round puffy marshmallows into his mouth. "Chubby bunny." His voice was barely understandable.

"Guess we know who is going to lose this game!" Naruto said with a laugh, taking the bag from the dark haired boy and popping one of the marshmallows in his mouth. "Chubby bunny." No problem. He threw the bag at Shikamaru, who sighed and popped one in his mouth.

"Chuvivvundy. Will you look there? It appears I lost."

"Shikamaru!" Temari scolded. "You need to play." She gave him her best pout. Okay, somewhere between a pout and 'no sex for the rest of your life'.

"Chubby bunny," Shikamaru said. "Havvy?"

"Yes."

"Should we dock points for lack of 'p'?" Kiba asked. Temari shot him a glare. "Okay, fine. I'm up." He shoved a marshmallow in his mouth. "Chubby bunny."

Temari snatched the bag away and rammed one of them in her mouth. "Chubby bunny," she said with a smirk-like-expression before passing the bag to her left. "No swallowing," she reminded Kiba. He glared and kicked the stereo when it started repeating the same line again and again. Woe is uniqueness. Kankuro didn't even get to one. He just kept eating the marshmallows.

The game was okay until they got to five.

"Chuv--vub-buv-vy," Sasuke mumbled. He wiggled his tongue around in his mouth before swallowing half the marshmallows and spitting the rest onto the floor. "How can you handle this?" he demanded. "This isn't fair."

Shikamaru 'lost' after four.

Gaara eventually started really wanting to make out with Neji. At least, that was what was assumed when he said 'I want to make out with Neji' instead of 'Chubby Bunny' and was disqualified after six.

Neji fell pray to Gaara's demands shortly after jamming his seventh marshmallow in his mouth.

It was down to Kiba, Temari and Naruto. They were up to twelve marshmallows apiece. Naruto jammed a thirteenth into his mouth. Sasuke raised one eyebrow and looked to Neji in a mixture of alarm and curiosity.

"How high can they go?" he asked.

Neji shrugged. "A friend of mine did fifteen. The guy who won got sixteen."

"Ew."

"I know."

Kiba dropped out after fourteen. It was just Temari and Naruto now, facing off in one huge, spiraling helix of marshmallow goodness. Naruto jammed fifteen. Temari followed suit. Naruto went sixteen. Temari matched him. Seventeen. Seventeen. Eighteen. Eighteen.

"Good god," Neji remarked. "Are they going to be okay? There went nineteen."

"Chuvvuny!" cried Naruto.

"Thashingount!" argued Temari.

"Can either of you actually say 'Chubby Bunny'?" Gaara asked.

"Chu. Bee. Buh. Nee," Naruto said. "No prol'em!"

"Temari?"

"'Ope," she said dejectedly. She took thirty seconds to swallow all twenty of the marshmallows in her mouth, and then brightened. "And as winner, Naruto, you must eat the entire bag." She grinned. Kankuro looked worried. "I know you have more. There has to be at least sixty bags in the pantry. Last time I leave you alone…"

"Whatever," Kankuro said. "Oh cool, Hendrix." He danced to the music.

Naruto eyed the bag of marshmallows.

And then he downed them as he might down ramen. At least thirty marshmallows in under thirty seconds. When he was done, he looked green. It was kind of a nice shade of chartreuse, if you squinted. Naruto lay down on the carpet. "Now what?"

"Spin the bottle?" Kiba suggested. He was met with glares. "What? Everyone is all paired off anyway. It'd be funny. Or gross. Really, really gross. But funny. Funny outweighs gross. Kankuro, can you pass me that beer bottle over there by Neji's foot? Thanks." He took the bottle and put it in the center of them. "Alright, Temari, since you're the girl, you go first."

"Why because I'm the girl?!" demanded Temari angrily.

"Fine, Temari, because you have the biggest boobs, you go first." That one got him smacked.

Temari spun the bottle. It landed on Kankuro.

"Can I spin again?" she demanded. "He's my brother." Kiba consulted.

"Nope. You can get away with a sisterly kiss on the cheek though. Lucky you." He smirked.

Temari grimaced. She hadn't shown any actual displays of affection for her brother since he was in seventh grade at least. Two years older, by ninth grade Temari had grown pretty distant. She kissed Kankuro's cheek quickly before falling back on her butt.

"You're up brother dearest," she said with a smirk. Kankuro narrowed his eyes and spun the bottle.

It landed on Naruto. Naruto wrinkled his nose and Kankuro made a face. They leaned across the circle of teenagers on hands and knees, faces getting fairly close together. There was major gagging from Sasuke and Gaara. Naruto and Kankuro's lips ghosted against each other, and both boys leapt back like they had just kissed an electric fence.

"Ew," remarked Temari. "Whatever. Naruto, your turn."

It landed on Shikamaru. It took both Kiba and Gaara to restrain the girl from breaking the bottle to bits on the decorative fireplace. Naruto looked mortified. Luckily, Shikamaru was a fairly unresponsive kisser (at least for those who aren't Temari), and therefore it wasn't too miserable.

"But spinning is so troublesome," Shikamaru complained. He rolled his eyes and spun the green beer bottle across the carpet anyway. It landed on Gaara. Temari looked downright pissed.

"You are not kissing my boyfriend!" she shrieked. "No!" She shot Gaara a demon glare. "He is my boyfriend! And you're involved."

Long pause. "It's just a game Temari," Kiba said. "No offense Kankuro, but you're not my type. You're a guy. More importantly, you're not Hinata. See, it means nada. Gaara, Shikamaru, it's really hard to hold this demon back, so if you could hurry it up, that would be fabulous."

"Not a girl, huh?" Neji said with a smirk as Shikamaru and Gaara's lips connected. Kiba ignored him and handed the bottle to Gaara. Gaara eyed it with distaste and spun it cautiously. Sasuke. Naruto let out a squeak of annoyance and displeasure. Gaara rolled his eyes. Sasuke looked mildly grossed out. The two boys' lips connected briefly before Gaara shoved the bottle into Sasuke's hands.

Temari. Temari looked like someone had just ordered her to listen to Eminem and Fifty Cent doing a collaboration about the world and how we should shoot all the people they deemed bad. Okay, maybe not that mad, but she certainly did look pissed.

"I'm gay you know," Sasuke said. "It's not like I relish the feeling of your lips on mine."

"And I have an aversion to kissing anyone who plays uke."

"Not uke!"

"Rapist."

"Oh…shut up and spin."

Temari spun the bottle. It landed on Gaara. "Why," she asked, "is it landing on my brothers?"

Shikamaru partially raised his right hand. "Twenty-eight percent of the other people besides yourself playing this game are your brothers. It's only logical that the bottle would end up spinning on them more than anyone else."

Temari glared, planted a sisterly kiss on the crown of Gaara's head, and shoved the demon bottle into his hands. "Spin it buddy," she ordered. "And if it lands on me or Shikamaru, I'll ground you for a month and sew your ass to your face." Gaara spun the bottle without responding.

It landed on Naruto.

"Uwah! Why am I stuck kissing people who aren't Sasuke?" he cried indignantly.

Shikamaru didn't even bother raising a hand this time. "Eighty-five percent of people aren't Sasuke," the lazy boy explained.

Gaara cocked his head to one side. He leaned cautiously towards Naruto. Naruto returned this gesture cautiously as well. He could feel Sasuke's glare on his back. It was boring into his back. It was lighting his back on fire. It was prodding him with a gnome-hunting cattle-prod.

Two pairs of lips connected. They stayed together longer than Sasuke could tolerate without having murderous thoughts (okay, Gaara and Naruto kissing at all made him want to throw the red-head through the window, even if he knew there would be blood shed. His blood). Gaara and Naruto leaned back and blushed.

"Okay, I'm sick of this game," Temari said, trying to salvage the semi-good relations that still lingered.

* * *

"Alright, Temari, truth or--" 

"Dare," the blond girl replied, interrupting.

"I dare you to kiss a guy who isn't Shikamaru in the closet." Naruto nodded. Temari rolled her eyes. Shikamaru looked angry. Sasuke and Neji glared first at Naruto, then scrambled back as fast as they could, hiding behind the couch. No way were they kissing anyone else.

It left Kiba.

"To the closet," Kankuro said, pointing to a broom closet. "Go. It was a dare." Kiba and Temari drifted dejectedly into the broom closet and slammed the door behind them.

In the darkness, Temari stared at Kiba. Kiba stared at Temari. Finally they leapt forward simultaneously. Lips connected in one of those power-hungry kisses that existed only in creepy romance novels, or so was thought. They nipped each others lips, trying to suck as much air out of the other's lungs without choking themselves. Kiba just wasn't getting any. Poor Kiba. The pair of them had serious sexual tension anyway. It had existed the entire time, even though Kiba loved Hinata and Temari loved Shikamaru. It just existed.

Temari and Kiba broke apart. They didn't look flushed, only bruised and slightly angry. Had they been able to see, they would have seen expressions of somewhere between remorse, confusion, and the wish to forget.

"You're a good kisser Inuzuka," Temari said dryly. "I needed someone to kiss."

"What about Shikamaru?"

"I love him more than anyone else, but I never actually get to kiss him. At least not really. I never get to kiss anyone like I just did unless some idiot forcibly dared us to kiss in a closet." She sunk to the floor. Kiba knelt beside her, crushing high heels that Temari was pretty sure weren't hers.

"If it makes you feel any better, if circumstances were different, I wouldn't mind kissing you again. You're not half bad at it yourself." He laughed, helping her to her cautiously to her feet. She made sure to stomp on the heels.

"Thanks Kiba," she said, pulling him into a hug.

"Come on, get back to your boyfriend. When you get out there, kiss him, and if he doesn't kiss you right, I'll make him kiss you right." He grinned in the dark, kissed Temari's forehead gently, and kicked the door open.

"Took you long enough," Sasuke remarked. Shikamaru looked mortified.

Of course, Temari wiped that look off his face in one swoop. Kiba didn't even have to monitor. They picked Neji to be the next truth or dare victim, considering Temari, who would have chosen, was a little busy.

"Truth or dare Neji?" Kankuro asked with a snicker.

"Truth."

"Have you screwed my brother?" he asked. Neji looked mortified. He blushed bright red and sunk back against the couch.

"No, silly question," he muttered.

"You're right, silly question, has he screwed you?" Kankuro corrected. If it was possible, Neji got redder.

"Yes…"

Kankuro smudged some of the purple makeup on his face.

"How productive. Hey Sasuke, what about you? Neji looks like he might need a couple of minutes. Truth or dare Raven."

"Truth."

"Of course," Kiba said with a laugh. "Uchihas always tell the truth. Okay, fine, who plays uke?"

"Naruto," Sasuke said promptly.

"Rapist!" Temari shouted before resuming previous activities.

"But..." Naruto protested. "We haven't actually gone any further than--"

"Ha!" Kiba laughed. "Naruto is officially the only virgin in the room."

Sasuke raised one eyebrow and shrugged. "I'm sick of this. I'm going to bed."

Kiba snickered. "You never willingly go to bed," he reminded. Sasuke grabbed Naruto's wrist.

"I do with him around."

* * *

Neji and Gaara sat on Kankuro's bed, staring at each other. Kankuro had so nicely let them use his room ("I wash the sheets everyday anyway," he had said). Neji was still bright red while Gaara just stared calmly at him. 

"Are you alright?" Gaara asked.

Neji shook his head, staring at his fingers, which pushed up against each other in a very Hinata-like manner. "Kankuro asks really embarrassing questions."

"I know," Gaara said. "I've lived with him seventeen years."

"Double jeopardy anyway," Neji muttered. "Asking me questions like that. I probably shouldn't have said any--"

"It's okay," Gaara assured him, cutting off the boys worry-rant. "You look a little flushed." Gaara wrinkled his nose, a very rare Gaara act he picked up from Naruto, for emphasis.

"It's embarrassing admitting that I play bottom. Feels like the last little bit of dignity is gone."

"It's not. Whatever you want, I'll give you," Gaara assured him. "Of course, if you wanted to screw me I'd let you."

"What?" Neji asked. He looked a little like Hinata had back when she still liked Naruto. A little like Hinata had when she still liked Naruto and he had been caught skinny dipping in the fountain. By her. And the principal (who quit the week after).

"You heard me. All up to you."

Neji had the sudden urge to make Kankuro's information wrong.

* * *

**So many...nasty thoughts...not M material, but I'm this close to falling over the edge. Sequel? Definitely M. Oh yes.**

**Have fun!**

Pronoia Advertising:

Chubby Bunny. The world showers thee with marshmallows.


	28. Day 28: Home

**How hard to keep this short. My author insert was the girl who pulled off 15 marshmallows for chubby bunny and Saphos was a female Greek poet from the island of Lesbos who wrote poetry to and about the women of the island (:points at name of island suggestively:) I'm going to miss writing this story. I am going to start a new story after this, probably not the sequel, and then start the sequel after I finish said new story. OR, I could start the sequel now, write it for a while, and then switch to updating it every two days and updating my other story on the off days. OR you can give me other suggestions/orders.**

Neji Says: In order to cut off the sob story, the author has forced me to tell you she doesn't own Naruto. And that it hurts when Kiba locks her in small, confined places for ending the story the way she shall end the story. And that she wants out. Now.

**

* * *

**They didn't wake up until early Thursday. They had stayed up for all of Tuesday night, slept all of Wednesday on the living room floor, and Temari woke at dawn. No one else woke up until eight at the latest, but Temari liked waking up around dawn. 

Temari bathed, dressed, and let herself out the front door. She was feeling miserable, utterly totally miserable. She was sick to her stomach, complete with puking up acidic, 36-hour marshmallows. '_I knew I shouldn't have gone nineteen,_' she thought miserably. '_At least, I hope that's the reason._' She really hated throwing up. Really hated it.

She turned around when she hear someone behind her. It was, surprisingly (to her, not the cosmos) Kiba. She raised one eyebrow and sat down on top of a glass-covered Tibetan Sand Mandala.

"Kiba," she said. "Why up so early?"

"I heard you get up. Who knew you had so many showers…"

"So that's why it went cold all of a sudden! Hey!" she glared.

"You flushed the toilet on me."

"Oh yeah," Temari said, giggling nervously and rubbing the back of her neck. "Sorry about that. I was kind of puking my guts out."

Kiba raised one eyebrow. "Why?"

"Nineteen marshmallows. You try eating nineteen marshmallows and holding it down. It's not easy. No, not easy at all."

"And that's it?" Kiba looked mildly concerned. Temari looked carefully from side to side and shifted carefully on her hands.

"Maybe. I don't know. I mean, some of those 24/7 stories sold some pretty shoddy products."

"Are you sure you're not…"

"I bought a test in Washington."

"Any since then?"

"Nineteen marshmallows. That's it, and only it." Temari glared. "What's it to you either way? You're not my brother and you're not my boyfriend." She lay down on the glass top of the sand art and stared at the sky. Kiba sat beside her.

"But you're my friend," he replied. "I care about you."

"I wish it were true."

"It is," Kiba insisted. "You'll always be my friend. Even when you're old and married to Shikamaru, and have a million kids, I'll still be the one you call when Shikamaru thinks Friday night drinking it too troublesome."

"I'll be the weird aunt who tells your and Hinata's kids about all the people who used to live before they either died or were wiped out by Europeans. Like the Incas and the Aztecs and the Mayans and the Cherokee and the Choctaw and the Chippewa and the Creek…" she said in a monotone before breaking out into a grin. "Don't forget the Chumash. Almost entirely wiped out. I know a girl whose elementary teacher was quarter Chumash though."

"Weird Aunt Yankovic," Kiba added.

"Yeah…Weird Aunt Yankovic." She looked to Kiba with a glint in her eye that hadn't existed since she was in high school. She extended her ring finger timidly, and Kiba extended him. They looked in both directions before linking fingers and chanting 'best friends forever, forever we'll be, best friends forever, that's you and me'.

"Alright, now that we're through with the 'best friends forever' talk, can you make steak?"

"Of course."

"Will you put marshmallows on it? Whoa…just kidding…you kind of look green Temari…ew…"

"Wake up! Everybody up now!" Kiba screamed gleefully. He loved waking the unsuspecting up. No one responded, so he resorted to the more drastic measures he had discovered worked marvelously at awakening people from the dead.

'I'm a Barbie Girl' poured out of the stereo. The effect on the sleeping teenagers was instantaneous. Kankuro and Naruto sat bolt upright. Sasuke and Neji looked mortified. Shikamaru opened one bulging eye lazily and tried to drown out the sound with a pillow. Temari looked in from the kitchen and poised the frying pan to throw, but decided that rather than kill her stereo she would just make it stop, so she hurled a shoe instead.

"What the hell?" demanded Kankuro. "How did that song get on there?"

"I listen to it for writing," Temari replied from the kitchen. One bare foot slapped the linoleum as she padded around the refrigerator. "And for waking you guys up. Pancakes, steak and eggs with chives and peppers!" she called. Kankuro was suddenly very much awake and he and Kiba became embroiled for the first plate, which they played tug-of-war with. Sasuke walked passed them and grabbed the second plate in the stack and got his food first.

"Damn!" cried Kiba. He dove for the next plate, letting go of the one he and Kankuro had been fighting over, unfortunately, Kankuro had the same idea. The plate, which was luckily plastic, clattered to the floor and the two boys started fighting over the next plate on the stack. Neji and Naruto got their food next, followed by Sasuke and Gaara. Eventually, Kankuro won and Kiba was left with the floor-plate. Temari rolled her eyes, filled their plates, and filled her own plate with eggs and pancakes and sat on the counter.

"Why are you sitting way over there Temari?" Kiba asked. Temari shook her head.

"I hate steak and the smell makes me sick."

"It didn't before," Kankuro commented.

"I hate steak," Temari growled. "Be quiet, Twenty Eighth Percentile!"

"Nineteen marshmallows and that's it?" Kiba asked as he nibbled on a bite of steak. Temari fixed him with a glare and stomped into the living room, where she proceeded to turn on 'The Sex Pistols' as loud as it would go and watch cartoons from 1982 on mute.

"What was that about?" Shikamaru asked. Kiba glanced into the living room around the corner of the doorframe.

"You might never know," he said. "Or you might find out. Eventually." Kiba turned back to his steak. Shikamaru shook his head and picked at his eggs, pushing all the chives to the rim. Naruto obliviously drenched his pancakes in strawberry syrup, blueberry syrup, and melted butter. Neji poured a neat amount of maple and butter on his pancake. Sasuke drizzled a pattern of blueberry syrup on his. Gaara seemed to be enjoying putting strawberry syrup on _all_ his food just a little too much. Just a little.

* * *

The seven of them swore to go on another trip during summer break in honor of Sasuke, Naruto, Neji, Kiba, and Gaara graduating high school (which they were all going to do) and Temari graduating college. Of course, this required rehashing of the decrees. Temari sat at her computer, seven sheets of nice, 100 percent recycled paper in her printer, fingers poised over the keyboard, word processor open. 

"Alright," she said. "The Nondenominational Road Trip Scripture. We begin." She started typing on the keyboard.

* * *

Decree One: Thou Shall Not Give Temari Coffee in the Middle of the Day

Decree Two: Thou Shall Not Give Temari Alcohol if She Calls Thee Any Name Besides Thy Own

Decree Three: Thou Shall Not Give Neji Alcohol In Any Quantity, Ever

Decree Four: Ask For Directions When Thou are Hopelessly Lost

Decree Five: No Backseat Driving

Decree Six: Thou Shall Never Ask Sasuke About His Home Life Past Or Present

Decree Seven: Thou Shall Never Threaten To Drive Drunk

Decree Eight: Thou Shall Not Mention The Circumstances Surrounding Gaara And Temari's Mother's Death.

Decree Nine: Thou Must Hate Hyuuga Hiashi For Being a Bigoted Bastard and Thou Must Throw Darts at the Photo Glued to the Roof of Murphy Daily

Decree Ten: Thou Must Go on all Road Trips in Murphy The Most Beloved And Revered Van

Decree Eleven: All Circumstances or Behaviors that are Potentially Dangerous or Damaging to Murphy The Most Beloved And Revered Van are Prohibited.

Decree Twelve: It doesn't matter who started it.

Decree Thirteen: Thou Must Always Love Each Other, Always, No Matter What.

* * *

"What are we, the siblinghood of the Traveling Sweatshirt?" Kiba asked with a laugh. "That last rule is corny."

"You don't like it?" Temari asked. "You think I should take it out?"

"Never."

Kiba left first. He clutched the Nondenominational Road Trip Scripture, promising to tack it on his wall. Temari walked him to his mother's car and she said goodbye quickly, pulling him into a hug quickly. He leaned against the metallic of his mother's pickup truck, eyeing her cautiously.

"You sure it was the marshmallows?" he asked. Temari stared at the ground and shook her head.

"I know it's not, and I guess I'm okay with that. I'm just a little freaked out. I mean, I always wanted a family, but I kind of wanted a career too…"

"That's what you have Shikamaru for," Kiba assured her. "If he backs out or doesn't treat you right…" Kiba trailed off threateningly. Temari smiled.

"I know, you'll bring your dogs and do nasty things to his body. Gaara said the same."

"The more the merrier," Kiba cried. "You'll be fine Temari. Of course, I'll be telling you this every day for the next really long time, so you better get it through your head. I'll see you later, alright?" he smiled. Temari returned the smile and hugged the brunette boy. Hot tears seeped from her eyes (she was always emotional at the weirdest times) as she clutched Kiba tightly. Kiba rubbed her back in comforting circles. When they broke apart, Kiba wiped away the blond girl's tears before he climbed into the beat up pickup and was gone.

Neji left next. Actually, he was just returning to pick up a few of his possessions before returning to Temari and Gaara's house. Gaara drove him to his uncle's house in Murphy.

"I'll see you in five minutes," Neji breathed. Gaara nodded. He climbed out of the car and pulled Neji gently by the hand onto the sidewalk. Neji looked at the house defiantly. He noticed his uncle staring out the window, having been notified by Neji that he was returning that day to pick up his belongings.

"Wait, Neji?"

"Hm?"

"Before you go in there…I wanted to tell you. I love you."

Neji blinked. "I love you too," he breathed. Neji wrapped his arms around Gaara's neck and kissed the slight boy cautiously. Gaara kissed him back, and when they broke apart, Hyuuga Hiashi was no longer at the window.

When Gaara and Neji returned, Gaara looked miserable. Shikamaru was leaving. Which meant Gaara had to say bye-bye to the second love of his life: Murphy. When Shikamaru came out of the house, however, with his bags, Temari was following him and she climbed into her car, not Murphy The Most Beloved And Revered Van. Shikamaru walked up beside Gaara.

"You know, that car is so troublesome," he said. He turned to walk to Temari's car. Then he stopped, fished the keys out of his pocket, and tossed them at Gaara. "Take good care of it…him. Take good care of him." Shikamaru nodded and climbed in beside Temari. "I know where you live."

Gaara's heart didn't return to normal beating patterns until Temari came back. "Gaara? Gaara? Are you okay?" Temari shook her brother gently. "Are you alive?

Gaara just clutched the keys and ran off, smacking gently into Murphy and pulling the van into a hug as much as one can really pull a car into a hug. That's right Neji. Be jealous. Very, very jealous. One would love to say Murphy hugged back, but it was not exactly a hug. More like a general mental feeling of goodwill-ness. If that was technically a word. Jealous, jealous Neji…mustn't kill Murphy, it's just a car. And a law that causes the sorrow of millions.

* * *

Sasuke decided to leave with Naruto. They borrowed Kankuro's car ("You had better not crash it," Kankuro had warned. "I saved up all summer for this baby. But it goes zero to sixty really fast and you need it, so I trust you. Don't crash it. Gaara isn't the only one with a certain attachment to cars."), and were currently speeding towards Sasuke's house. They figured Orochimaru would be madder, since he hadn't really had any warning. Naruto's guardian knew where he was going and was probably glad that the boy he viewed as an eyesore was gone for a month. 

Sasuke's house was in disarray. The lawn was at least five inches long, the shudders were falling off their hinges, there were at least four burnt out dog-doo-on-fire-bags. It was icky. Very, very icky.

"What now?" Sasuke asked. He sat knees drawn to his chest on the leather seat. "I don't want to have to go in there."

"I'll come with--"

"No," Sasuke practically screamed. "No, I'm not letting you come in there with me and that _snake_. I know he's home. I see his car through the garage window. Stay here."

Naruto shook his head, bit his lip, and took a breath to speak. "How about if you're not back out here with some kind of confirmation that you're okay in five minutes, I'm going in after you armed with a crowbar."

Sasuke considered. "Okay." Before he got out of the car, Sasuke turned his head and kissed Naruto's cheek gently. Then he climbed out and walked slowly up the cracking cement drive. He check the door handle, secretly praying it was lost, and walked into the musty house.

It was even worse inside than out, if that was possible. The lights were all out except for one just between the kitchen and the dining room. Trash littered the floor and the air smelled like no one had cleaned in years. The scurrying of mice met Sasuke's ears and he felt two objects brush against his ankles: one round and furry, the other long and scaly. There was a series of squeaks a few minutes later and then it was silent.

"Sasuke," a voice croaked from the shadows. Sasuke whirled around. A desk light clicked on, Orochimaru sitting in the old, battered blue chair in a now-lit corner. He had a newspaper across his lap, which he appeared to have been reading. Sasuke noted that he had seen the same newspaper: a two weeks ago in New York.

"Yeah?" Sasuke asked defiantly.

"You weren't just gone three days," the snake-like man hissed. "I missed you. I was so worried, I didn't know what happened to you." His eyes fixed carefully on Sasuke. Sasuke felt the scaly creature brush against his leg again. This time there was a bulge in what he assumed to be its throat.

"Did you just sit here and wait?" Sasuke demanded, taking a step backwards. "Did you just sit and wait around for me for a month?" he reached backwards and hit the message machine play-back button.

"Thirty new messages," the machine beeped. "Message one: **'This is Ventura Public High School, we have on our records that Sasuke has been absent for two days. If you could please call in for an excused absence**," a silky smooth voice purred (Sasuke recognized it as one of the students who gave their free periods to work in the office), "**'That would be great. Have a nice day.'** Message two: **'This is Ventura Public High School, we have on our records that Sasuke has been absent for five days. If you could please call in for an excused absence, that would be great. Have a nice day'**. Message three: **'Hey, Oro, it's Kabuto, call me.'** Message four: **'This is Ventura Public High School, we are going to have to ask you to please call in for Sasuke Uchiha to provide proof of excused absence. Truancy will not be tolerated. Good day.'** Message Five: **'Ventura High again, how hard is it to bloody pick up the phone and tell us where Sasuke is?! For the sake of-- Sasuke Uchiha? Yeah, leaving the message right now…I know, that snake guy is a freak, I wouldn't be surprised if the kid ran away…okay, Mr. Orochimaru, leave the message before we have to take further action against your ugly man ass**_--_All messages skipped-- end of messages."

"You did, didn't you?" Sasuke growled. "You just waited in the dark for me to come back." He took another step back. Orochimaru stood and slithered forward over the abandoned food containers. His eyes fixed on Sasuke and Sasuke shivered.

"But yes pet, I couldn't wait for you to get back. You and your little boyfriend."

"How do you know?" Sasuke asked. He realized that probably wasn't the smartest response.

"Oh, I have my ways. For instance, the way you kissed him. The blond boy in the car, right? The one glancing at his watch every thirty seconds. No doubt he's giving you five minutes. Go wave to him so he'll leave."

"Or else what?"

"Or else when he walks in," Orochimaru said, licking his pale lips, "I'll lock you up and then have my way with him. So, do it for him, okay?" Orochimaru talked as though he was explaining a field trip tour to a group of third graders.

Sasuke gulped, walked to the window, and waved. He glanced back and smiled as wide as he could. Naruto bit his lip, narrowed his eyes, and then got back in the car. He drove around the corner and was gone. Sasuke felt like crying. He really did. It was for the best. Orochimaru was strong, and could have probably hurt Naruto, crowbar or not.

"Come here my pretty," Orochimaru growled. Sasuke barely had time to whip around before the older man shoved him down onto the couch. It smelled really, really bad. Sasuke bit back a cry as Orochimaru lay on top of him, biting at the teenage boy's lip furiously. This proceeded for an endless span of time. Sasuke tasted blood, his own blood, and the spit from Orochimaru's mouth. Orochimaru bit at the teenager's collar, obviously feeling no remorse for the angry red spot he left on Sasuke's neck. He ran his hand's over Sasuke's hips and pushed him down further into the musty couch cushions.

Sasuke fought back, trying to sit up and shove Orochimaru off. Eventually, Orochimaru got fed up and hit Sasuke as hard as he could across the face. Sasuke kneed him in the stomach, but unfortunately Orochimaru had the upper hand, considering the snake-man had his teeth clamped around Sasuke's neck. He bit down and Sasuke screamed in pain.

"That's what I like," Orochimaru hissed, biting Sasuke's shoulder, leaving a purple mark that was rapidly darkening. He pushed Sasuke down again and smirked sadistically. The older man fumbled for the zipper of Sasuke's jeans, yanking at the cloth. Sasuke rammed his hips against the side of the couch, trying to make this as difficult to do as possible for Orochimaru. '_I have him right where I want him,_' Orochimaru thought. '_And now he's mi--_"

Suddenly Orochimaru stopped and fell forward. He lay there, completely still, hands still caught in Sasuke's belt loops. His teeth were still clamped firmly over Sasuke's collarbone.

It took Sasuke a couple seconds to realize what happened. He kicked a nearly comatose Orochimaru off of him and stood up, yanking his jeans back up to his hips. He turned his eyes to his right and came face-to-face with Naruto, Kankuro, and a very angry Gaara. The red-headed boy's eyes almost matched his hair and his lips were turned into one of those horribly sadistic grins. Sasuke vaguely remembered him looking like this in freshman year, just before they dissected sea urchins in biology. Orochimaru, however, was no sea urchin. He was scum. The dead cells Naruto had scraped from the inside of Sasuke's cheek (he started to notice just how obsessive he was about the blond boy) that they looked at under a microscope ranked above him in the world.

"How did you guys get here?" Sasuke asked. Gaara, who was still too angry to speak, pointed to Naruto, who shrugged.

"You don't smile like that Sasuke, ever. So I got in the car, which I didn't have to push, that was nice, and went back for reinforcements."

"Told you that baby was fast," Kankuro said. "Gaara really wanted to come. Maybe we should have left him at home. I don't think cutting off all of Orochimaru's hair is really going to solve the problem Gaara."

Gaara didn't reply.

Sasuke knelt on the floor. A purple snake lay coiled on the carpet, a bulge that Sasuke could only assume to be a mouse a third of the way down its body. It slithered away when Sasuke approached, under the couch. Sasuke swallowed thickly and moved back into the house. He turned on the light to the basement. He nearly threw up.

Hundreds of snakes filled the cement room. Mostly purple except for a few reject black ones. Sasuke stumbled backwards into Naruto's arms, flicking the light off. He glanced up at the blond boy, and then he started to stare. He broke free of Naruto grasp and sat on the steps of the basement and stared. He stared at the inky blackness for what felt like hours. When he glanced up, Naruto was sitting a step above him alone.

"I'm sorry," Naruto whispered. "Are you alright? Did he hurt you?"

"No more than I expected," Sasuke replied. "You came back for me. No one ever came back for me before," Sasuke breathed. No one ever had, at least not willingly. Gaara left him in the middle of nowhere, and it he hadn't even wanted to come back. Sasuke could hear the snakes hissing below them. Naruto inched over and put one foot on either side of Sasuke. Sasuke leaned back, resting his head on Naruto's lap. Naruto tucked a strand of hair behind the Uchiha's ear, stroking the helix with his pinky.

"Why wouldn't I come back for you? I love you."

Sasuke's breath hitched involuntarily. "What?" The entire time they had been together, if you could call it that, Sasuke couldn't remember those words ever being exchanged. He thought that they would have been, but he still thought of Naruto as his friend: lover was too awkward.

"I said I love you," Naruto breathed. "Now I have to go home." He cast his eyes down to the cement stairs."

"Can I come with you?" Sasuke asked. "You were there for me. I'll be there for you."

Naruto nodded.

* * *

"I'm back! Your whore of a pseudo-son returns after giving you a vacation from having to be affiliated with an eyesore!" Naruto called as he threw open the door of his house. Sasuke winced. It hurt him to hear Naruto talk about himself like that. 

"Too bad too," purred someone from the kitchen. "I was so looking forward to you being gone a while longer, tainting the family name with your impurities."

"You know, I have a friend with me," Naruto said. "He took Judo for six years."

"Is it that nice boy with the red hair?" the voice of Naruto's guardian perked up.

"No. It's Sasuke. My--" Naruto paused, "boyfriend."

There was a crash of plates. "Get out of my house," the voice ordered. "Right now. Go. Get out. Stop tainting this family with your disgusting habits! You refuse to change, instead opting to choose the easy way out--"

"What family? We aren't a family! You're an asshole! I came by to come home, but no, I end up being shunned. Is this about the entrance? Because I'm not a whore you know. Oh and Gaara? The nice boy with the red hair? He's dating Hyuuga Neji. You know. Nephew of the Hiashi Hyuuga. As in, a guy. Oh, what now?" Naruto stomped up the stairs, leaving complete silence in his wake. He returned a few minutes later with a bag of stuff and a determined expression on his face.

"Where are you going?" the voice demanded.

"Getting out of your house," Naruto replied. He bolted out, leaving the front door wide open. Sasuke followed him. Naruto fell on the grass, laughing hysterically. Sasuke knelt beside him.

"What are you laughing about?" the raven asked. Naruto stopped giggling and looked up, mirth in his bright blue eyes.

"You know, I have no stuff, I have no place to go, but I'm free. Not just for a month, I'm free forever." He fished out The Nondenominational Road Trip Scripture out of his bag. "These rules…they made me the happiest I've ever been Sasuke. The happiest I've ever been. I'm free now." He stood.

"I don't have anywhere to go either," Sasuke mentioned. "We should find some place to go together." He looked back at the house and was very tempted to throw a rock. He and Naruto looked at each other at exactly the same time.

"Gaara's," they said in unison. Then they linked hands and started for the car. And so began the first day of the rest of their lives.

* * *

**It ran EXACTLY 100 pages. Like, one more line and it would have been 101. :sniff it's over:**

Neji Says: The author would like you all to know that it hurts when Kiba puts her in a cardboard box and lights it on fire because she was thinking a sequel ahead and is going to possibly ship Shikmaru away for the third installment. It also hurts when the Grammar Police smash the ashes with a mallet because she used Crappies grammar ('Crappies' is actually the plural of 'Crappie'. A crappie is a freshwater sunfish that appears in lakes and ponds in N. America). It really REALLY hurts when Sasuke stabs her for the Orochimaru bit.

She wants out now.

**Review all...I shall feel motivated for that sequel if you do! Don't forget! You could put me on your alert list, that would do nicely. Very nicely. Also, my author insert in this chapter was the office aide. Only in real life, I'm the student assistant to my Language Arts teacher and I run copies and drink tea instead of leave messages.**

**Pronoia Advertising:**

**It ended! THIS IS NOT A HAPPY MOMENT! Actually, a sequel or a new story will be coming out soon...ZOMG! THE COSMOS DOES LOVE YOU!**

In Closing: Thank you all. Thank you for reading, reviewing. All my regular reviewers, you kept me going, kept me updating every day. It was amazing: 329 reviews as of now. I hope you all have me on your alert list. I can't wait until I get to see all of you guys in the sequel. I'll misseth you.

--Lunar Chasmodai; Writer, Photographer, Artist, RockStarWaitressRoadTripperBiscuitAvengerChubbyBunnyWinner, Student Assistant.


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